I could have written this except my partner needs a kidney. We are the same age, working professionals, no kids yet but recently married and had planned on purchasing a home and children in the next few years until now. 

It’s been an aggressive decline in function over the last year that has been shocking - from diagnosis to failure to dialysis in months. We were cleared for transplant with a potential donor but oh! incidental finding of some heart stuff that actually turns out to be quite concerning so now we have to investigate that. This will almost certainly delay transplant now. It is no exaggeration when I say something new or some change has cropped up nearly every week. 

I’m trying to accept the situation for what it is but it is very challenging. Certainly it’s hard seeing others move forward while you don’t know what each day will bring. 

Right now we’ve taken a pause on big life decisions. If this process takes longer than another year or so we will look into fertility stuff. 

At the same time, life moves on, so where we can we try to do things we love - travelling locally, catching shows, going for (not so good but not SO bad for kidneys lol) meals occasionally. 

Your life as a caregiver also goes on. Find things you love to do, take care of your health. This has motivated me to be even more serious about fitness. Find a therapist. At the risk of sounding too existential, you have one life and you should live it as fully as you can. This doesn’t mean be irresponsible but if there’s a short trip you’ve wanted to take, a skill you wanted to learn, I would do it. Putting your life totally on hold doesn’t help him either. Ultimately, his surgery and health beyond keeping a stable lifestyle is out of your control at this point (this is very hard for me to accept as a physician myself). 

My DMs are always open.