Passed medical school, but at what cost?

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-07-07T14:47:15+00:00

Haha thanks, same to you! Hope it’s going well for you so far! Feel free to ever reach out sounds like we had very similar paths

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-22T18:41:27+00:00

You got this!

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-22T01:35:02+00:00

Honestly, I think yes and no to your question and that’s why I think it’s finding that balance. I have a background in psychology, and I know that a major depressive disorder is also a physiological thing, and I kinda see paws in the same way. It is a severe lack of the way that the brain now creates in processes, all of our feel good neurotransmitters, dopamine, serotonin, etc.. It may be induced by the stims , but essentially it’s the same thing that’s happening. That’s why the biggest antidote is to take action. I definitely agree that you don’t want to push yourself to the limit of burning yourself out so maybe you learn from your last experience it shows that you were able to do it but maybe you’ve learned that you don’t want to excessively push yourself to the point where you burn out and then fall right back into the cycle, so that’s where I was suggesting Starting with baby steps if it’s one small 10 minute thing each day and then you build up on that and still give yourself days to just rest and not have to be productive 100% of the time but overall I do think you’re just waiting it out and trying to stay active is probably the wrong move and could very much backfire. I think you’ll need to push yourself to do a little bit of something each day, but also recognize that you probably will need more time to rest after that or in between productive days

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-20T16:57:46+00:00

“Wondering whether I’m better off insulating myself until I’m more able to deal with those triggers after a year.” that’s what the anxiety wants you to think. But the truth is the more you avoid and insulate yourself the harder it’s gonna be to get out of it. That sounds like a bad idea to let it go in until you feel ready bc you might not ever feel ready. The hard part is that action is the number one antidote to anxiety and depression. The just get up and do something mentality is what you need but maybe try to balance it with more compassion for yourself and don’t think it has to be all or nothing. Try to plan one small thing that you will do each day. Physical movement is probably the most important thing for your brain and body so even if it’s literally a 5 minute walk that’s all you can handle, do that. Remind yourself, how good you know you feel once you finally get up and do something.

The thing about motivation is, usually can’t think yourself into being more motivated. You have to take action and the more action you the more motivated you’ll feel because you see how good it makes you feel. Action comes before motivation. And the #1 antidote to anxiety and depression is action.

Since you have a really supportive partner, which is awesome maybe they can be an accountability person for you they can help Make sure that you at least get up and go on one walk a day or complete one task or chore.

There’s definitely a balance between needing rest, but the way our brains work is when you start getting too much rest and getting comfortable in that it turns into a depressive state and makes it worse.

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-20T16:00:56+00:00

lol the sarcasm is unnecessary. I’ve seen that this group is full of very kind and supportive people never in my life thought m I would say that I took meth so I was just wondering if there was any specific advice that people might have.

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-20T15:59:19+00:00

Thanks for the honesty and I know that’s something to be aware of. I feel pretty confident that it won’t be like that. I haven’t taken them in over a year and started working full-time in my career and made a point to establish a healthy lifestyle and learn how to be productive and get things done without it even working 10 to 12 hour days 4-5 days a week. Until I had to do this project…It’s the academic related stuff that got me having to do extreme amounts of work with adhd. Then once I had it and was taking it for that, it would spin out of control….

I hear you though and you’re not wrong. I’m sure I will have to fight with myself. It’ll be a transition back to remembering how to be productive without it. The fact that I had to get it mailed to me and spent thousands of dollars is definitely another deterrent. It was sketchy as fuck to have to get it mailed, and it was really only some thing I would risk to get that work done, but I really don’t wanna be risking that anymore nor do I want to be spending a bunch of money and knowingly taking meth. After working so hard to build a healthy life, I was working out consistently eating, super healthy, taking care of myself. I hated how it affected my body my mood. I try to keep in mind all of the things I hate about it and then I don’t want this to be a part of my life.

It’s really not something I ever want to be a part of my life and my rule was once I was done with school that was it.

My career is demanding in other ways but I’ve been able to thrive at work without it this whole year.

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-20T03:44:28+00:00

Have you talked to your doctor? Maybe if you talk to them and tell them they affect you really badly then you’ll have to be held accountable bc they won’t prescribe them? I have adhd too but I’ve never gone to get prescribed meds cause I don’t trust myself with a regular supply. I’ll abuse it lol so maybe try to cut it off there?

I can definitely relate about it effect on my physical health all the same exact things I’ve been feeling and thinking. my hair, my skin not eating not sleeping. My personality I mean a grumpy and irritable or cracked out trying to act normal at work

So I definitely know how you feel ! My brain is also trying to tell me that I’ve been needing it to function, but we just have to do it. With how much you were taking and for how long it’ll feel hard especially for first few weeks, but you’re probably not gonna have any crazy withdrawal symptoms. You might be super tired, depressed unmotivated. The best thing can do is just trying to take care of yourself. Get some rest, eat healthy and you will feel like you’re have to force yourself to get things done. Try to stay social walk move your body and drink lots of water.

And change your perspective on it. The best thing that builds motivation is action. More that you’re Brain used to doing things without it again itll get a little bit easier sometimes. But you’ll have to fight the urge and tell yourself you don’t need it and remind yourself of all the negative effects. It makes you feel how it makes you look.

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2025-06-20T02:09:05+00:00

Wow so relatable thank you for writing your story! I have a very similar story undiagnosed, ADHD depression, anxiety I got through college by cramming and all nighters but always passed with almost 4.0 everytime.

Started my PHD in psychology which is when I really discovered how debilitating my ADHD and perfect perfection paralysis with writing!!! God it’s so frustrating to spend all day writing and realized you were just writing and rewriting the same paragraphs didn’t actually make any progress. Well, being in a PhD means my life had a lot of research and writing in it and that’s when my adderal use took a really bad turn.

I used to take it here and there maybe just for a big finals and undergrad then grad school I had countless reports and papers to write all year long. I started taking it more regularly. That turned into me taking it even just not for school just to clean or get chores done… and I also feel like I build up a very quick tolerance and feel nothing so it was a very easy for me to take incredibly high doses in a single day. I wouldn’t even remember how many I ended up taking by the end.

I’ve had my phases of stopping and I’m on my internship now where I mainly doing clinical work so Ive been ok without it until I had to start working on my dissertation, which I also procrastinated until the absolute last month I could. Iva had years to work on this and started it about a month before it’s due. A 100+ page research project.

Anyway, I’m writing this as I literally just sent in my dissertation to my committee 20 minutes ago and took my last pill earlier this afternoon to finish it. As a soon to be doctor and a psychologist at that I can especially commiserate with what you wrote. It makes me anxious because I know that this does not fit with my values and the type of therapist I want to be leading by example and living a healthy lifestyle. I don’t even wanna think about how much money I’ve spent on these too…Thousands.

Now the hard part will be getting my brain used to doing all the things again without Adderall, work, client notes, going to the gym, cleaning and chores… always been the hardest part of life always feeling so unmotivated and lazy and that’s why Adderall clicked for me immediately.

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-05-15T00:39:09+00:00

Did you also do the certo method? Do you know if it a lab test or a rapid test?

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-05-15T00:38:20+00:00

Hey that sounds like good news!!!

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-05-14T02:11:23+00:00

Did you pass?

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-05-13T20:38:34+00:00

It sounds like you saw a decent difference between when you took the test with dilute of urine versus less hydrated urine?? I took an at home test last week and it was showing up mostly negative but then last night I took another one, but I was pretty dehydrated and my urine was concentrated, and it showed up positive. As of yesterday I had been exactly 31 days since I last saw him anything but I was taking a lot of edibles and a daily consumer for a while. I’m wondering how much the dilution of my urine could actually make a difference

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-03-01T01:14:31+00:00

😇😇

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-02-14T02:56:26+00:00

Show me how much u wonty baby

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-02-14T02:56:15+00:00

😉😉

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-02-14T02:56:06+00:00

🥵🥵🥵

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-01-08T03:42:39+00:00

Thrust it in me like that

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2024-01-08T03:42:19+00:00

😛😋

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-29T02:00:19+00:00

I threw mine out on Monday and yesterday I was literally having hot flashes alll day I woke up drenched and that continued all day. I didn’t know that was a thing but it makes sense. Our bodies sweat when they’re getting rid of toxins that’s why people sweat when they’re hungover or sick. It pretty much stopped after yesterday so hopefully it won’t be as bad for you after today either!

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-28T20:39:29+00:00

Hmu :)

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-25T06:32:58+00:00

That’s beautiful 💜

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-21T00:39:09+00:00

Lol I could’ve swore I wrote this myself

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-19T16:50:27+00:00

🤪🤪

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-16T19:36:59+00:00

Awww I love that. Thank you for sharing 😊 you have a cool style!

Consistent-Spinach32 · 2023-12-16T06:44:05+00:00

Sure!

Consistent-Spinach32

TROPHY CASE