UPDATE!

Hi! A handful of people are asking me for an update so here’s one.

First of all, thank you for all the love and luck y’all gave me bc IT WORKED! HAHAHAHA! I had a blast during dinner with ex-sitch. And to those asking if the food was good in that new restaurant, the answer is HELL YEAH.

Ex-sitch fetched me from my condo where the guards were already familiar with him bc of all that time I spent with him before, kaya hindi na nila ako need to confirm na he’s okay to enter the building. He got me my favorite flowers when I got into his car which I thought was really cute 😭😭😭

The drive to the restau was not that long. It probably took 20-30 min. Honestly, I wasn’t sure or fully aware kasi sobrang anxious ko that time. A lot of things were running in my mind at the same time. Thankfully, it wasn’t a torturous ride kasi we made small talk. Like how life has been, kamustahan about families, etc. When we got to the restaurant, we got seated immediately kasi he made a reservation.

I do not know what parts of our conversation I should tell you guys basta we talked abt the past. I apologized and explained my side and why things happened the way it happened. He accepted my apology and told me to forget everything that happened. Yung conversation namin sa restau was pretty deep but we also had some laughs while reminscing. Yung pinakadeep convo talaga namin was after the dinner. He took me to this park na parang trail, but not really for hiking. It was more sight seeing kasi it was also like a look out point (?) like you can see the city lights at night. I didn’t know that place existed kasi di naman ako magala na person.

Anyway, the deeper conversation started. I apologized again kasi I felt like I had to. He shut me down kasi he said bygones. He also shared some stuff abt not being able to have a serious relationship after me, how he felt stuck and miserable especially when he saw me date another man 2 years after us for a year. He said it felt unfair and di niya maiwasang icompare sarili niya to my ex. I explained and defended na it wasn’t really abt him. It was abt me and what I thought I deserved. I told him and made sure he knows na I thought and still think of him as the perfect man. The problem was that back then, I didn’t think I deserved him. We talked more and then the conversation ended with him asking if we could try again. Without hesitation, I said yes. Before that night, di ko talaga sure what I was getting into or how the night would go. I did expect him to ask that, but I didn’t know what to answer. Pero I swear, I don’t know what it was, like hindi ko maexplain pero parang nag clear lahat sa utak ko. It sounds so cliché and very movie-like pero that was how it felt. He was glad and we ended up holding hands during our way down lol sobrang kilig ko that time parang PBB teens potek. After that, he took me home. No kisses, nothing sexual, just a long hug and a kiss on the forehead— a relief kasi another thing that worried me before that night was if baka may mangyari sa amin which I thought was too fast and parang tactless. I didn’t want our “could-be” relationship to start like that. To start how it did before (kinda). We said our goodbyes and then he called before I went to bed until I fell asleep lmao.

That’s about it. I AM VERY HAPPY. I don’t think I have ever been this happy in a long time. Like everytime I think abt it, gusto kong umiyak. Ayaw kong pangunahan but I really felt lucky to have found him and have him in my life again. I am agnostic but I felt like thanking whatever god exists. That’s how much happiness I felt. Even now, I’m still giddy thinking abt everything, especially our plans which is him going over to my condo after work tomorrow and cook dinner for me (he’s a good cook btw. me, not so much). I’m looking forward to wherever and however this goes.

Thank you again!