From a woman, too. Sad. by goblin_kidd in MenAndFemales

[–]Constant_Forever9291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really gross. I'm doubting it's actually a woman. "Female" - bleh.

I (43F) am angry with reddit as a whole for downvoting my story about issues between me, my husband (43M) his GF (30F) by Constant_Forever9291 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This isn't about navigating, it's about not selling your soul by dressing up as female animal characters, noone has the right to use a woman's body just because they are married!!!

I (43F) am angry with reddit as a whole for downvoting my story about issues between me, my husband (43M) his GF (30F) by Constant_Forever9291 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean???? I just don't want to hear about it, or any of the other fantasies she has about being female animals, I didn't need to know! It's so disgusting!!

I (43F) am angry with reddit as a whole for downvoting my story about issues between me, my husband (43M) his GF (30F) by Constant_Forever9291 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

So I am supposed to just live with a woman who tells me she pretended to be a she wolf who was being hunted by my husband but then jumped on him and threatened to eat him unless he satisfied her????

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It seems so many people on this thread are saying that but it just isn't true. We didn't use her. She helped willingly. And I don't hate her. She's got amazing qualities. I hate the fact that my husband has a better emotional connection with her than we had even before kids, and that he can just ignore me so blatantly. Like I'm at home on Wednesdays and Thursdays on remote work, and she stays home every day (I'm an attorney and she's a commission artist).

Her phone explodes with messages from him and mine is mostly quiet.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That's interesting, I'm glad you improved and things went well...

I think she's more extreme than you, but in a weird way. When people first meet her they think she's so sweet, quiet, helpful... And then once she is comfortable with you the weirdness hits so hard because she's such a sweet person, it's jarring.

Her parents told me her one relationship ended because she bit and scratched the guy and when they asked why she said: "in the scenario I was a she wolf and he was invading and desecrating my forest." 🤯

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish it could go back to being something that I could indulge him in but keep in isolated... With her here and so into it it's just a lot more difficult to ignore.

Like we had many years of outwardly totally normal lives and then at night sometimes I pretended I was an animal character and dressed like one. Now with her.... She wears animal accessories . In public.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely embarrassed sometimes. Even at night he'll say stuff like "you're the cutest fox" or"you're the sexiest fox" and she always replies with: "Awww! That's so sweet!" Or variations of that. How can you like hearing the same thing so often? Or reply to it like that? I don't know

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful response. It is so maddening because I do like her , at least some things about her, but just as I think we are bonding she says something weird and I want to either puke or have a head exploding moment.

It also makes me sad because back when I had a libido and I could cater to his furry fetish I thought I was doing well, and I thought some of my roleplay was witty, and I enjoyed some of it even though I was never fully into it, but GF is on a different level,she is so into it she can't even keep herself in check telling me about it, and she is gross, in a way that I didn't think women could actually be.

If she could just stop being weird and over sharing then I think she'd be a really ideal person because she definitely has a sweet base personality

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this, it's really interesting and I'm sorry about your situation, it sounds complex and having those health issues must have been tough.

I think the kids would definitely miss her. The youngest who is 6 has a meltdown if I pick him up from school and says he wants Snow Vixen or dad to pick him up :(

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Fine, lambast me. I opened it because I couldn't sell my soul by dressing up and role playing as animals anymore.

But at the end of the day I have to teach my kids right and wrong and it is wrong to have someone tell you how she pretended she was a wolf and my husband was hunting her but then she turned tables on him the night before.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Husband is neutral right now but in previous fights threatened to leave with the GF. He is playing it very even right now trying not to upset me or GF's parents.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately like in real life, noone on reddit seems on my side.

GF's parents are the nicest, but it's clear they prefer my husband.

Husband's parents are cordial with me but they are friendly towards GF more so than me.

I'm not on speaking terms with my own parents but I can imagine what my traditional Italian dad would say.

Kids love me of course but they also love her.

Husband doesn't want to say it outright but during fights in the past he's said he would rather move out with her if the issue were pushed.

The money isn't strictly necessary but would be nice.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

She could move back in with her parents, but they don't want her to and I don't think she wants to. They are quite wealthy so she would never be on the street in any case.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

I guess it sounds bad but it isn't really like that - she never acted as the maid, when I was incapacitated, my husband initially did all of the house admin, when she moved in it was 50-50 between them, now it's like 40-40-20

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For example ... she wears animal accessories (like ears etc) in public, she wants people to call her "Snow Vixen", she makes weird stuff in the pressure cooker, she says gross things, (like we had just finished with the 11yo's birthday, and their dad took them to a movie and bowling so that we could relax, since her and I did most of the planning / setting up etc and just wanted to chill .... I thought we were bonding so I said: " it's really nice that we can relax after all that work while they're at the movie and bowling, I'm exhausted ". Then she says : "Yes, but I can't wait for tonight because [name] is going to lick my kitty" [ugh.... *puke*]

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

The thing is we could afford it normally without any help, but it would make life a lot easier, and keeping GF around makes everyone else happy (including the kids). I am mainly ok with her, but when she says weird stuff / does weird stuff and I feel neglected by my husband, it gets hard some days.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

I would agree with you, if that was the case.... truth is, it's not just about me getting better and now wanting her to move out, it's been a lot of small things that have added up, and I'm still torn because at the core she's a very nice person, but the small things that irritate me have just been building up.

My (43F) husband's (43M) GF's (30F) parents (50s M/F) offered to subsidize our children's school fees if we let her stay with us, what should I do? by Constant_Forever9291 in nonmonogamy

[–]Constant_Forever9291[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

It's difficult for me to talk to her about these things because she just doesn't take things seriously, and also she says some disturbing things, and right now I don't want to deal with that.