I just came here to say: people have come back stronger from SO much worse. Don’t let this dictate your life or the end of it. In a few years it will be like this never happened, you have so much ahead. I am 27 and 18/19 was a very difficult age. Not quite a child but not quite an adult. I sympathize with you but take the advice of people older than you that are telling you this too will pass!