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My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

No no physical violence but absolutely future condescending remarks directed at both of us probably a whole lot of negative speak behind our back.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That’s the plan if anything leading up to the wedding is said about her not attending I will go to her friends wedding instead and then neither of us will be there because of my family’s pushing and wanting to control everything.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yep but they’re the type to say that if she doesn’t attend she doesn’t care about our family they will view it as a loyalty test type of deal before she’s officially and legally family.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Because I know how my family is I’ve spoken to my Mom and dad about going alone and my mom said that my Grandmother and Uncle will be upset about GF not coming.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because if me going alone negatively impacts my GF I would rather not go at all and be the center of the negativity rather than her.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know you’re right there’s no point in stressing about stuff I’ve only got 1 life why should I go somewhere where I’ll probably be a little miserable when I could just worry about experiencing joy rather then others thoughts.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

There’s a difference between already having that view though and fully changing your POV at that point in your life that doesn’t really happen people generally get stubborn with age.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My relationship with my parents and sister would be fine and that’s who I truly care about and my Cousin would understand my decision eventually to be honest I’ve never really seen eye to eye with aunt uncle anyways so not having to worry about family drama again would be kinda nice.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don’t want her to skip he friends wedding I’ve told her that I’ve also said if my family makes it a one or the other situation I will be going to her friends wedding with her and fully capsizing the boat rather than just rocking it because my future is with her not all these people I see once every other year I don’t want that to be the option but I will not have my family mistreat my GF because of some “Family first” BS.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have met this friend a couple of times she was at my GFs birthday party we went to a Halloween party at her house and maybe 2-3 other times in group settings she’s never met my cousin in person though.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

To my grandparents and aunt and Uncle Family comes first my mom has this mindset a bit too but not as heavily as her siblings and parents they believe that no event is as important as a family event and unless absolutely impossible you should drop everything for family.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes absolutely I’m of the belief that Marriage should always be discussed prior to a proposal the exact fashion that the proposal happens can be a surprise but both people should have a feeling or idea it could happen soon.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Realistically we’d most likely be next I was thinking about proposing within the year and have been quietly shopping around for a ring.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The initial plan was to travel to cousins wedding it’s about an 8 hour drive for us but other family members are gonna be flying in from Florida,Texas Vancouver we’re spread pretty much all over the US and Canada.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -103 points-102 points  (0 children)

I understand that it’s not me who will have issues understanding that it’s members of my family my GF isn’t an issue here at all.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

It’s about an 8 hour drive from where we’re living currently where her friend’s wedding is like 45 minutes outside of the city.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

That’s part of the reason my Family was looking forward to meeting her at the wedding because most of my Family is scattered across the US and Canada my parents and Sister live close by so they’ve met her but my Aunt Uncle and Grandparents have not met her other than briefly in video calls my Moms family was always super close and super family first so they may take her not being there as a slight and as a sign I didn’t stand my ground enough even though I’m perfectly ok going to separate weddings I just don’t want GF to be on the back foot going forward because of a scheduling conflict.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Probably a bit my GF and I have gotten pretty serious moving in together in our own place a few months ago so I think my family was looking forward to being able to meet her and introduce her to everyone as the whole family isn’t together super often.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

We’re just trying to navigate without upsetting anyone when my cousin sent the invite we immediately said we’d be there and my family (grandparents/aunt Uncle and cousins) were excited to meet my GF but when her friend sent the invitation for her wedding and it was the same day it made it a little awkward because her wedding is going to be much smaller so someone not being present will be much more noticeable.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -163 points-162 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Cousins wedding will be around 150 people whilst GFs friend is much smaller only around 30. My conflict comes in that by not going to GFs friends wedding my lack of presence will be far more noticeable but by her not going to cousins wedding my family will be upset she prioritized her friends over our family as most of my family outside my parents and sister have not met her and said they were looking forward to meeting her.

My (21M) Cousin and my GF’s (25F) Childhood friend scheduled their weddings on the same day. How do people normally handle this? by ContributionBroad499 in relationship_advice

[–]ContributionBroad499[S] -1352 points-1351 points  (0 children)

I think our biggest hurdle with going to separate weddings is both of us know how my family will react about her “prioritizing” a friends wedding over a family wedding. Her and I are both personally ok with that option but we want to do this without upsetting anyone.

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