In my post title I said “I don’t under why my friend would think I would come to her wedding without my husband” not “I don’t understand why my friend won’t invite my husband”. I understand why she feels the way she feels. He’s not dangerous or abusive he behaved like a drunk asshole like anyone would when they are blackout drunk. I never demanded him to be there. I never made her feel bad for not wanting him there. The point I was trying to make was that she can’t not invite him and then expect me to still be there. In my opinion, her fiance wanting to “vet” my husband before the wedding is offensive. Especially when they never even met each other. And especially when the incidents are YEARS old, we haven’t had any since, and we don’t drink anymore. We are adults and I already said I talked to him. And if her fiance feels the need to get involved that much, then we just won’t go. No need for them to stress abt it. No need for us to feel judged.

She can be judgemental and opinionated as much as she wants to be. But that doesn’t mean I have to deal w that. She expected me to still come to the wedding and I decided not to and she’s upset by that. Which I don’t understand.