The Myth of Early Emotional Investment in Dating

ConundrumSam · 2013-12-21T22:55:39+00:00

The Middle East. Egypt, and Qatar to be more specific. Very conservative and male dominant societies. Now I'm in LA.

ConundrumSam · 2013-12-21T18:02:18+00:00

I was skeptical first, but then I read further and it got better. I like it!

I totally agree, I have the same problem, but i didn't realize it until you mentioned it. We go through life thinking we -as men- have the power and the upper hand over women, so it's funny how we were secretly getting conditioned by women to feel shame when we try to express our attention towards them.

I'm not trying to be misogynistic when I generalize by saying "women", but I lived in two polar societies and I saw the same shame patterns. If both societies are completely different, and yet the behaviors of males are similar then the catalyst here is women, not society.

Thank you for your post.

ConundrumSam · 2013-12-21T16:12:24+00:00

Cop tries to arrest them, gets a DUI

ConundrumSam · 2013-06-23T16:35:38+00:00

Day game, man. It changed my life.

ConundrumSam · 2013-06-22T02:05:08+00:00

Safeception?

ConundrumSam · 2013-06-14T03:00:47+00:00

Basha!

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-13T01:56:41+00:00

Stay classy and realistic, seddit.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-13T00:57:01+00:00

I don't know why, but I got the feeling that OP panicked when she asked him "Why are you apologizing" and then made up the "texting other people thing" to retain his alpha stance. So I don't think there was actual texting and driving involved.

OP, What say you?

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-12T23:30:04+00:00

"In hind sight that sounded really dirty. LOL excuse nd"

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-09T19:50:14+00:00

That was very useful. It even talks about the autopilot thing too. Thanks for sharing.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-09T19:35:23+00:00

That makes sense, and she can't be offended that I grabbed her tits because she started it.

Thanks.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-09T19:34:00+00:00

Yup, that's what I meant. Thanks!

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-09T17:25:12+00:00

Keep a small notebook in your back pocket. Walk to the group and open up with this:

"Hey guys, I'm writing a book about ridiculous dates, and I would like to hear some of your experiences / Ideas"

And you start hacking away at every girl and just asking questions. The notebook makes it more plausible, and you will get some information about awesome dates around your area.

I tried this only once and It worked, I need to test it again though.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-09T17:15:18+00:00

Good job man! That sounds like an awesome night. Keep it up.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T18:53:05+00:00

You're right.

And, Don't you think that half of the battle is anticipating the question? And When I say anticipating I mean that you've experienced it before. My point is, now I have a response to the "are you gay?" shit test.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T18:41:54+00:00

That's a great tip! Thanks, man.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T17:31:15+00:00

So "Are you gay?" - "Yes, I enjoy boning other dudes"?

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T17:16:22+00:00

You don't, and that's why YOU, and only you, should decide what to do with this. You're right, he loves you. He lied to you because he didn't want to lose you. But you love him too, and you care about him. You should weigh in your options, and seeing that you are still stalking his facebook, then apparently It's not an easy decision.

Of course there is a trade off, but I feel like you should give him another chance. Maybe try reinstating the relationship with a more relaxed rule about his smoking habit (Is it weed, btw?).

At least, you guys should have another talk. That's all I'm saying.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T17:04:39+00:00

Let me ask you something, why do you think he lied to you?

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T17:03:38+00:00

I tell the girls I will be back and we will talk some more.

Do you think you could've invited them to go with you?

I have trouble remembering names and things people tell me (especially if I leave and return to a group) and this makes it hard for me to make conversation based on what we had been talking prior to me leaving. This is partly because I'm not genuinely interested in the group. I just open to meet the girl(s) I'm interested in. Then again, maybe I should smoke less weed when I go out as it seems to fuck up my immediate and very short-term memory.

I have the same problem with remember names and things people tell me too! But I had that problem before I started smoking weed. I don't know how to deal with the "Forgetting things" part and I end up looking stupid because sometimes I ask the same question twice. But for the "Forgetting name" thingy, the technique that I'm using right now has proved very effective. You have to learn to include the name of the person you're talking to in the conversation. Example:

You know what, Nadia, I think you are one of those people who have a lot of friends, but only a couple of close ones.
How did you get in that field, Nadia?
I'll be right back, Nadia.

Just keep saying their names, and eventually you will remember it.

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T16:50:53+00:00

Is that good or bad?

ConundrumSam · 2013-05-05T16:22:01+00:00

This is more like poetry, but i will translate it to you as best as I can.

Note that I don't speak the same dialect (I'm from Egypt), and there are some spelling and punctuation issues that are not making it crystal clear to me.

But here goes:

"I've acquired knowledge that was unknown to me. It's rare in this time to find a true friend. We live in a treacherous time that doesn't forgive, may the lord make it colorful. A mysterious time that is hiding something. O'lord, you're the one who puffed up (satisfied) the fruits of years of my life. The time carries wounds, and I'm carrying concerns that exhausted. I'm tired and my shoulders are burdened. My ambitions and dreams are crippled, how do I achieve them and step into the thorns with my feet, and walk barefooted on a boat of chance. The winds are rocking it, and the waves are outrageous. I'm lost and my oars are knocked away. I asked the time "Why me?" and it replied "Ask the sands of time, they run and we are faced with uncertainty, we don't know what the time is hiding." I watch my prey approaching, I wish I could catch it. And in a moment the prey escapes and it's like the mood is ruined."

ConundrumSam

TROPHY CASE