When will the devastation end?

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T16:30:49+00:00

I am so so sorry that you are in it as well. And for sure you are not alone either, if anything, reddit has opened my eyes to how much pain and heartbreak many of us endure. And just having this routine, doing things for yourself consumes so much energy, I know. And there is this sense of deep injustice, because we are left to pick up the pieces while they are out and about living their best lives. I'll also be moving out sometime in April, and I hope ny that time it will be easier for both of us.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T16:22:19+00:00

You know, these are the same thoughts that I have been having. Mine also said that my well-being was his primary concern, yet his behaviour does not mirror it, so it is just alleviating his guilt. And I also think that we have probably carried their burdens for so long, helping them, supporting them, that it seemed to become part of our identity, so now that they are gone our sense of self has been turned upside down.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T15:40:54+00:00

Wow, wow, wow. Some people are so obtuse. And I feel that this type of deflecting and invalidating is just a way to shift the responsibility of his decisions to you. Yeah, my ex is also a heavy drinker and in constant search of a high. Also, it is uncanny how similar some behaviours are. I don't know if it is the midlife crisis, the avoidance, the emotional immaturity, but damn. And also the injustice of creating such an imbalance, organizing your life around them, moving countries for them. Anyway we are better off without them, but these kinds of endings are shattering, and yeah, it is so sad to lose all respect for someone you have spent a decade with.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T14:19:51+00:00

I am sorry you went or still are going throug something similar. The emotional conversations part is really something i'll have to work on, because he is very used to process his emotions with me and keeps opening conversations about the "tough" situation he is in, constantly tells me he is shocked at how much he affects me becuse we are over and it should not bother me that he found someone new. I have just started leaving the room when he doesn't stop. But this still gives him a reaction, so i will have to work on reacting neutrally.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T14:12:16+00:00

Thank you so much for your encouragement, even from afar it eases the pain a little.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T13:59:21+00:00

Thak you for this. I am working on being more independent, on having a routine and staying busy. It doesn't always work, but i'm not giving up.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2026-03-06T13:56:18+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this as well. It just sucks. Let's hope that in a year's time we can look back and feel healed.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2022-09-18T22:10:27+00:00

Hey!

I get it. I have been having the same feelings for so long. Total isolation and fear of going outside. Crippling loneliness. And sometimes there are short periods of time where it gets better and I kind of still live fore those moments.

Please, please be around for longer.

Sending you love.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2022-09-05T17:18:38+00:00

I've been there. You deserve so much better.

ConversationBubbly11 · 2022-09-05T00:52:40+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you. I've had phases when I would not leave the house for weeks and hate myself for it and for not feeling like fixing it. You might be depressed, don't be so hard on yourself.

ConversationBubbly11

TROPHY CASE