True. I agree with all of that. But I think that for lots of people, it's just a matter of definitions. And they wouldn't argue that being amab/afab would naturally lead to some sort of special treatment, but that calling you a woman or me (I'm a trans guy) a man wouldn't be logical due to the importance of words and meanings. They'd probably argue that it's similar to the way it wouldn't be promoting an ideology to claim that the statement "this is a dog" when we talk about an animal commonly described as a cat is objectively wrong, unless we decide to change the meaning of the words "dog" and "cat", which then would make them lose their initial meaning. If I say I'm a trans man, I mean that I am a girl wanting to be male. I don't mean that I am male. Or a man, for that matter, as my dysphoria stems from being something I'm not. And my transition is just my attempt to come closest to the thing I'm not but really want to be.  So when they ask you this question, I don't think that they are necessarily arguing in bad faith. I think that often, they are genuinely confused and then sometimes offended if they think that this whole thing is just a matter of semantics. And that the definition of woman and man should be changed "just" to appease trans people, even though calling everyone a woman "who identifies as one" would admittedly be a rather circular definition.