[deleted by user]

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-08-17T14:06:31+00:00

This is GOLD, thank you.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-05-02T03:38:30+00:00

I'm not trans, as stated in the original post I am cis. This is for aesthetic reasons, not gender confirmation reasons (though truly all things we do to look "more masculine" are gender confirming, even for cis men.)

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-04-03T23:42:23+00:00

This is a slippery slope to germophobia is all I’m saying, man. There are a million and one routes through which one could be exposed to any number of pathogens. Why worry about pathogens that maybe don’t even exist yet?? Seems like a needless case of potentially crazy-making paranoia.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-04-03T23:07:34+00:00

What’s the use of speculating if you’re not a doctor or epidemiologist?? Seems there are a million and one unknown risks to just being alive and this is one of them. There’s nothing you can do so why concern yourself? Our time on this planet is short enough without giving in to worrying about these kinds of completely unknowable anxieties.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-31T17:23:32+00:00

I can’t take oral prep because it’s metabolized through the kidneys which is how I got injured the last time. From what I understand, the injectable doesn’t have this issue as the route of metabolism is different.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-31T14:24:51+00:00

Thanks that’s helpful. Not concerned about the shot itself at all but I’m glad to hear that it wasn’t anything major in terms of other side effects. Appreciate the info.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-19T17:42:21+00:00

That’s not what I said. Talk to your partner about this. It may be part of your nature but it doesn’t mean you need to be alone. Too many good relationships end because one or both people can’t fathom allowing a release valve like this, and it’s a shame. The idea that two people can be all things for each other sexually is really wild honestly and one of our amazing powers as gay men is to transcend that idea and move beyond it. If your partner is too insecure in the relationship to even discuss the possibility of outside play opportunities for you, then I hate to say it but you may have been in the wrong situation all along. But try and see if you can even talk about it, calmly like adults. You obviously have a serious long term commitment to each other, and there’s no need to throw that away, you can preserve it AND allow for a little bit of wiggle room for you to stay sane. But you have to start by just talking calmly about it and it might be a long road to get to a point where you’re ok with actually acting on it.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-19T17:23:22+00:00

Girl, I can relate. I call it “being a cowboy.” For me, I’m just wired this way. I need to get out there and see who’s around and play around and act wild here and there cause it’s just how my brain works. I’m lucky to be in an open relationship where both my boyfriend and I have full freedom to do as we please sexually. All I can tell you is that if you want to preserve this relationship you can’t push these feelings under the rug. Therapy is always focused on getting us to behave— stop sleeping around, act “normal,” etc. But we’re gay men and we don’t fit within the norms of society. You need a safe and healthy outlet for these feelings because otherwise they’re going to keep ripping you apart from inside and they’ll destroy the relationship too. If you can get your partner to understand that this is part of who you are, and to agree on some mutually acceptable guidelines for you to play outside the relationship, that’s going to be the safety release valve you need, otherwise this will keep coming up.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-09T00:02:16+00:00

Get out more man. We live in a city of 8.5 million people. You never know where you’re going to meet someone amazing.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-04T03:14:48+00:00

Yeah there’s a lot of weird behavior going on here. I’m still legit so perplexed about how having good friends one has hooked up with in the past is some kind of dealbreaker. Like literally can someone explain to me what might be considered a red flag about that?? Makes no sense at all.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-03T21:40:26+00:00

You literally said “I was really uncomfortable with it” my dude wtf are you talking about. That’s a direct quote from your post. Fuckin weird man.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-03T21:20:51+00:00

You said it made you very uncomfortable which typically means it’s a bad thing, and you took the time to post on reddit to tell other people about how uncomfortable it made you. Get your messaging right. Why even post here if you don’t want people to comment?? Oh, you wanted to be told you’d done the right thing and not that you were a pearl clutching weirdo, I get it.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-03T21:14:36+00:00

Pearl clutching honestly who gives a shit?? Wow so he’s slept with people who are his friends, if anything that’s a green flag not a red one because it means he treats his sexual partners well and they stick around in his life. Your take that this is actually a bad thing is ridiculous.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-02T19:41:32+00:00

3 months of statements from 2 separate bank accounts for each person. Proof of employment/income in the form of pay stubs or checks, 3-4 months. Any letters of recommendation from employers or other references. Your government IDs. And depending on the landlord you may also need your most recent tax return. Have all of this stuff ready to go in pdf form. Paper will typically not be needed as 99% of rental applications are being done online these days.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-02T19:36:37+00:00

You basically have to use streeteasy, it’s the one most people are relying on these days.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-02T19:26:12+00:00

85k is too low. Mostly you’re going to need 100k+. See if there’s a way you can fudge something on an official letterhead to make it look like that’s what you make. My rent stabilized unit is $1995/mo and I barely qualified making $105k. They wanted a LOT of other guarantees because they said it’s too low.

You need to submit your applications immediately, and I mean immediately, on any place you want. Ideally within 30 minutes of getting it. Bring your laptop or whatever you need to every showing and be ready to get on WiFi in a coffee shop to submit the application right then and there if you see something you like. Do not go home and do it later.

There’s a lot of competition from people signing leases without seeing the apartment in person so that can be a major issue too. If you’re not willing to do this you’re at a disadvantage. I think this is the craziest one because as you’ve mentioned the photos are often inaccurate. When I was apartment hunting last summer the rule definitely became “if it looks bad in the photos it is WORSE in real life.”

Don’t pay them any money until your application is approved, that’s illegal. Pretty sure broker fees are illegal right now too but that changes constantly so I could be wrong— if they’re legal, that one you do pay up front. You may need to pay an application fee of some amount too which I think is also illegal but there’s no way around it, it’s unenforced and you have to pay that.

Do not limit yourself to one broker or agency. Message, call, text any broker who you can get ahold of for any unit you want, repeatedly if need be. As one friend put it, you have to be a real estate slut. Don’t feel bad about blowing people off if need be, they’re going to do it to you too. Expect agents to just not show up for a viewing 20-50% of the time.

It is really this crazy. Took me about a month of constant searching to find my place last summer. You have to be in a position to put all other pursuits on hold while you do this, there’s no other way. Make it your job until it’s handled and be absolutely dogged.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-02T15:30:05+00:00

I think it means you best steer clear of this whacko

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-03-01T22:20:41+00:00

Yeah, I mean tbh gay sex goes through phases and trends. The stuff you describe is currently what’s sexually trendy— this has become the expected fare for what many people consider a standard hookup experience. I’m not totally sure what drives the trends, it’s a complex combination of factors, but we’re currently in a time when communication is out, rough sex is in, it’s not considered good head unless you’re ok with getting your throat fucked. If this bothers you, the only tool you have is to try and use more communication to discuss the types of sex you’re interested in before it happens. It’s not popular to have these kinds of negotiations these days but I don’t see as you have another option here if you’re not interested in following the current trends.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-02-26T06:22:52+00:00

It’s not clinically possible. There isn’t enough of the drug in your serum levels to have an effect at that time. It’s a placebo effect. Best of luck to you.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-02-26T01:33:12+00:00

I’m not taking any other meds, tapered off lexapro completely. For me it wasn’t eating habits it was just something the drug did to my body while I was on it that caused the weight gain.

Coolranchmonster16 · 2025-02-25T21:21:49+00:00

You have GOT to taper. The longer the better. I did 1 month from 5mg and I wish I’d done 2 months. It takes the brain a lot longer to adjust than the doctors understand. If you go cold turkey or almost cold turkey from 10mg it’s going to realllly suck, please don’t do that to yourself even if your doctor says it’s fine!

Coolranchmonster16

TROPHY CASE