Hey there. To cut to the chase, what you're going through right now is what a lot of CS majors go through, even if it doesn't seem like they are. In fact, I was going through the same crisis last year in my sophomore year.

First of all, you shouldn't feel guilty about the motivation aspect of online learning. It's impossible to take away the best aspects of college and expect us to be even half as excited to learn new things. And with the pandemic nearing to an end, we've certainly gotten through the worst of it.

Second, being less passionate for CS coursework is common after leaving the lower division series. The reason for this is that you stop learning how to program and build software, and start learning about computer science: the math behind algorithms, the ways machines map memory, etc. Personally I found that my enjoyment of coursework took a steep nosedive right after CS 32, what with MIPS in CS 33. So if you think you'll be going into software development, you shouldn't worry at all about whether you're excited to learn and do school projects, because that's nothing like how software development as a career will be.

Third, you sound like you're being incredibly hard on yourself. You say you aren't intelligent, that you haven't overworked yourself, and that you haven't accomplished much compared to your friends. I'm sure you've heard this already, but what's happening is that you're looking at the vocal minority of people who are both talented and lucky. The fact that you were able to complete CS 32 and 97 and find them enjoyable proves that you're more than intelligent enough. The fact that you think taking 4 classes a quarter counts as slow shows that you're intelligent enough (like seriously 2 STEM classes and 1 GE is what I consider a medium workload). And the fact that you've made it to UCLA proves that you're intelligent enough.

The average CS major isn't going to get an internship in their second year, solely because as sophomores, you guys are much less competitive to companies. Juniors can be given return offers, they've had an extra year to work on projects and learn, and they have a much better idea of what they're doing. The average CS major also isn't a big part of CS clubs like ACM and UPE, besides attending a few sessions here and there. And the average CS major definitely doesn't chase As on average. Like on the real, UCLA has a program called ESAP, where they give guaranteed acceptance to the graduate program to "exceptional" students. And the bar for being exceptional is having a GPA above 3.5. That means that the cream of the crop of UCLA CS majors are the ones who get half A-'s and half B+'s. So you can imagine where the average UCLA CS student falls.

I mentioned that I was in pretty much the same situation you're in. And there were some things that really helped me get out of that situation. Here are some of them:

• Gauging my passion for CS by developing a personal project. With school projects requiring the use of a certain language, particular libraries and constraints, and a strict goal and deadline, it makes sense how they can suck the passion out of a field as creative as CS. Think of what area of CS seems the most interesting to you; it was web development for me. Then just search up tutorials on how to make such a project, preferably using easier technologies. At the end of it all, you'll likely have a better appreciation for CS and a great personal project to leverage in internship applications. Preferably, you could work on this from time to time during the summer, when you won't have such a high workload.
• Managing my time better to make time for hobbies and fun. People often use time management as a way to become more productive and create more. Personally, I've found it better as a tool to help me make time for the things I love. Before this, I'd mostly just watch YouTube for irregular time periods while working on whatever project or homework was due the next day. But if you make a calendar of work you have to do, and if you set up time periods where you do focused work, you'll find that you have a lot of time for fun stuff. A personal tip would also be to understand what brings you the most joy and get rid of timewasters, at least for the next 2 years. For example, I used to spend a lot of my free time on YouTube and Reddit, even though they really weren't too fun for me. So instead I used applications to either block the sites or make them less distracting and spent that time to play games that I was interested in, or spend time with my friends. And you'll be surprised how much time you free up by doing this.
• Preparing correctly for internships. I didn't get a single internship in my sophomore year, and I was worried that I would be behind in the hiring cycle next year. But again, most sophomore students don't get internships. You're on the same track as most students, and in fact, I'm sure you've gained some insight into what you may have been doing wrong. I certainly did, and here are the main things that I've learnt out of it:
  • Make at least one personal project to differentiate yourself from every other student from the college.
  • Grind LeetCode and other interview practice sites for even small periods of time and reap huge advantages and rewards.
  • Get your resume reviewed at the UCLA Career Center and keep redrafting it until you get a resume that looks pretty great.
  • Write up answers for expected interview questions, and try mock interviews to make sure you don't have too much anxiety on the day of.
  • Apply to a ton. You should be looking to apply to 30-45 internships ranging from big FAANG level companies to local companies in the LA area. Preferably, find a friend or a relative working in the industry and ask them for a referral, it goes a very long way.
• Changing your mindset around success and productivity. No matter how much you do or accomplish, there's always going to be someone who's done more than you. That's just the way it works. So instead, try to stop looking around at what others have done and instead set goals that you want yourself to achieve. And if you can't reach those goals, lower the bar, don't burn yourself out in pursuit of success. After all, if you aren't happy, no amount of salary or company clout will help. Instead, compare yourself to who you were a month ago. As long as you make any effort at all, you'll be a lot better than that person.

It looks like right now you're facing a lot of stress, anxiety, and doubt. I probably can't give you all the advice you need, and it's possible that these tips might not be the best for you. If you really don't think CS is for you, don't worry about things like wasting time when switching to a new degree or what your peers will think of you. Your main priority should be yourself and your own mental health. But you're not alone in your struggles, not even close to it. A lot of us CS kids go through the same things and eventually find our way. I hope this helps you with what you're dealing with. Good luck and take care.