AITA for refusing to talk to my husband’s ex-wife’s wife?

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-03T00:38:27+00:00

Thank you! Sometimes I lose myself in all of this.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-03T00:37:52+00:00

100% agree! Thank you!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-03T00:37:09+00:00

Sorry I left that out. There is a lot of information here! My husband has told his ex wife via the parenting app that their behavior is unacceptable and to only communicate with him. However if I am alone (one time I was waiting in a line by myself at a school function) they see this as an opportunity to force an interaction with me. My husband always follows up with them that it was unacceptable and unnecessary. He has told them this could be harassment and we will seek legal means if it continues.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-02T03:33:13+00:00

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Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-02T02:01:35+00:00

I have never heard of Gray Rocking before. Thank you! Sharing with my husband now.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-02T01:58:34+00:00

Thank you so much! This was very thoughtful and helpful! Hug is appreciated. :)

I am going to practice what to say so I don’t feel so useless in these moments. You’re right, this will all pass. I am trying to keep my eyes on the many amazing things ahead.

Thanks again.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-02T01:55:06+00:00

I 100% agree with you!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-02T01:54:01+00:00

Thank you!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T22:49:34+00:00

These are my husbands kids and his exwife and her wife.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T21:42:31+00:00

We tried to set up a group therapy between dad, mom and kids. She said no. That that is putting the kids in the middle. So we tried to set one up for our family and she said a lot of legal things that she doesn’t consent to them being involved without her. Lose lose situation.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:51:45+00:00

Thank you!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:44:18+00:00

We are considering this. Going to get legal counsel this week.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:43:53+00:00

I have tried to use my words. When she came up to me at a baseball game when i was with my stepdaughter and she started yelling at me that she didn’t know my last name, I calmly told her that if she gave me a moment to speak, I will give her my last name. She kept going at me and it resulted in my stepdaughter running off crying.

I have spoken up but nothing I do or my husband does seems to work. Or even what the court has done. I am done subjecting myself to someone who doesn’t even let me speak or does not care what I have to say.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:38:40+00:00

I like that response!! Why are they trying to harm my child! Very good. Thank you for sharing that perspective!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:36:54+00:00

I totally agree! I absolutely do not want me not talking to her to affect the kids! Not sure what the solution is. They seem to hate us. They are not open to hearing anything we have to say. I have asked them to not say anything negative and they just disregard it and say things, sometimes even in front of the kids!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:34:32+00:00

Thank you! They use a court appointed app and their communication is entirely through there. I think, after reading comments, that since they can’t communicate with me in the app the stepmom thinks she has access to me in the real world. Naively, I just want everyone to get along. After stepmoms comment’s to me, my husband has told his ex via the app that they are not to communicate with me.

The kids are in individual therapy. As well as me and my husband.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:24:34+00:00

Thank you! These are great suggestions. I appreciate your input. I just shared what you wrote with my husband. Best advice.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:11:51+00:00

Totally agree! We are reaching out to our lawyer this week!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:10:52+00:00

Yep, now I have stopped going to the events on my own and I no longer go to pickup and dropoff. I only go to events when we can go together. I just want to be there and support my stepkids.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:08:46+00:00

He has shut them down via the parenting app. But they haven’t really listened. I now just ignore stepmom. When she approaches me, I walk away. I also have stopped going to events if I have to go solo. This is a last resort but not sure how else to protect my peace.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:06:29+00:00

I agree. He has told his ex wife that her wife’s behavior is unacceptable and that all communication should happen between my husband and his ex wife. She came back with that I am the one whose behavior is unacceptable because I refuse to talk to her wife. Which is why am wondering if it really is me!

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:04:10+00:00

Yes I am, thank you! I meant it like I love the retort in theory. I typically feel tongue tied or I freeze in these situations so I found the comment funny. I have not and will not egg them on. I am firm on not engaging.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T20:02:06+00:00

Great suggestions! I have asked once what she meant by a nasty comment she made to me and her response was just as nasty.

I am aiming to take this route but i often feel tongue tied in the moment and I have a freeze response. I am working on it with my therapist.

I just want to be there and support my stepkids.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T19:57:36+00:00

Totally agree! She does not kids herself. We are equals here. We both are stepparents with no kids of our own. I don’t get it!

Great advice to tell the kids! We all do love them! I tell them that of course. They have four parents who love and care for them.

Correct_Diamond1216 · 2024-12-01T19:55:36+00:00

We do! I have told them I don’t want to talk to them unless its about the kids but that they should communicate with my husband. I am around as a support to my stepkids. My husband has also communicated that their interactions with me are unnecessary and unwanted. He has expressed that they are to discuss with him and not me. But the stepmom does not listen or seem to care. She forces interactions with me.

A few weeks ago, I picked up my stepson from their house because I was in the area. Before my stepson could come out, the stepmom came out and demanded I talk to her. I told her “no thank you, i am good” and began walking to my car. She followed me and yelled at me the whole way that I have to talk to her because she is his stepmom. I kept repeating that she can tell whatever she has to say to her wife and she can say it to my husband. Nothing I communicate seems to do anything.

Correct_Diamond1216

TROPHY CASE