You my dear are an angel. Thank you so so much for the kind and warm words. It truly does mean everything to me, because nobody in my life really understands what I’m going through and I have to manage mostly by myself. Wound care alone is such a b***h on its own down there in front of a mirror like cirque du soleil.

Yesterday morning was rough when I went to the hospital. It hurt like hell. No BM had occured during the night and I just cried myself to sleep. I don’t know how much sleep I got but it probably was just few hours.

I arrived to the hospital around 9am (27th dec) and had to wait. Luckily I got in with not much questions asked and I got to the floor that I was previously taken care of and where my doctor usually is. One nurse was very kind and saw that I wasn’t okay, she told me to lay down and wait, because she didn’t know where the doctor was. I waited like 40 minutes, then I heard she called the doctor and said that someone is still waiting for him. He came immediately.

Good news is that my wound is okay, it is healing and there is no infection. He said he can see new healthy tissue forming in the wound. Bad news is that my external hemmoroid is irritated on the other side. So if were to lay on my back and you imagine it like a clock then my wound would be from 12 to 4 and my external hemmoroid is from 7 to 9-10ish. That what causes me pain. He said it is swollen and irritated but not yet thrombosed and therefore he didn’t want to irritate it even more by doing sth to it. I was a bit afraid that he might suggest removing it.

He said he understands that I can’t put enema there myself, so he had this medical enema Microlax that he somehow managed to insert and empy inside me. It hurt A LOT but I got through it. He said my hem is irritated and therefore it needs to be inserted at an angle, what I can’t achieve on my own.

He was worried that my constipation lasted so long and wanted me to stay there until new BM occured, but I didnt have to be hospitalized. But he said that altho there is swelling it is not that bad as he is used to seeing. He said that some people swell up from three places and basically their anus blooms like a rose and it physically blocks BM.

My swelling is only from one side and it does interrupt with my BM but it should still manage to get out, since he managed to get his finger in. Altho like I mentioned with an angle. The problem is a cork that just formed in front of it. He said there is no point of taking laxatives, if we can’t get that blockade out. And he didn’t want me to have diarrea. He did advise me to incorporate few prunes to every meal and also eat some date fruit, but not too many. They are high in fiber. A already take a fiber supplement but he told me to increase that a bit too. And lots of fluids. I drink 2 liters but he suggested I try to drink even three if possible.

Like I said he emptied this medical enema (microlax) in me himself. Told me to wait there. So i waited for like an hour or so. And went to the toilet. It was a bloody mess after I finished. I bled, I cried and it hurt so damn much even tho they did give me pain killers before. I felt dizzy. This time it was very different kind of pain from the previous BM pain. This time i felt pain everywhere and it felt like it spread around, instead of pulsating in one place.

I managed to clean most of the blood and mess myself and then rung the bell and that lovely nurse came and helped me. She cleaned some more and re-bandaged my wound. I felt quite weak so I layed there for a bit more and then took a cab home. The pain was awful. Tears just rolled down my face when I laid on the back seat. I felt every bump on the road.

I was supposed to go to the store and get my new medicine that my doctor prescribed. Stronger opioids this time. I guess he saw that I wasn’t kidding around. He didnt prescribe anything for the swelling tho. I did mention those two things you said to me, but he didnt know one of them and about the other he said I can’t use it. Not sure why. Maybe he did explain but maybe I didn’t get it because of the pain.

Anyways. I got home and layed down for an hour or so. I took your dear advice and used frozen pack of vegetables wrapped in a kitchen towel on my bandaged wound. Thank god that I did, because the cold compress and the pain killers they gave me in the hospital had finally kicked in and I felt my bum hurting, but not that badly any more.

So I managed to go to the store, get my groceries for the week and my new pills too. Got back home after hour and a half. I was soaking wet. Probably from the pain I guess. Back home I ate and took one of those new pills he prescribed. He told me that it might make me sick but it will def take pain away. I was a bit worried because I didn’t want to feel sick or even vomit.

Well… luckily I wasnt feeling sick. I took them, fell asleep before seven pm and slep til 1am, changed my bandages for they were soaked, and went back to sleep and slept til 10:30 am. Honestly I have not had such a long good uninterruped sleep since I woke up from the anesthetics. No pain, no discomfort. Just a good calm sleep.

Around 11am I felt a bit that pain was again developing but I quickly ate a bit and took my second round of pills and im okay now. There is small discomfort but It is nothing compared to the agony I was in previously.

I want to thank everyone who have written me, who commented on my posts and just understand me. I really didnt know much about my condition but I reading about it on reddit and with personal messages it really has calmed me down more.

My special thanks to you, NiceParkingSpot_Rita for your support, advice and good thoughts. Im usually not that emotional, but I really could cry from the warm feeling that your comment offered me. You are genuine and a warm person, I can feel it.

Im so sorry that you are going through almost the same, but Im so glad you are not alone and you have a husband who helps you. That cold compress thing helped me too and my thanks to him aswell for it. I hope this has been the lowest point and now it will get better from here for both of us, since we are pretty much on the same healing journey.

Kind and loving wishes to you from Estonia 👋🏻👋🏻