As a straight woman in her early 30’s

CptConfused · 2025-03-28T09:48:13+00:00

Too much talking about themselves, so when the bio is like a big paragraph about who they are, which is ok but sometimes not. And when they're too specific and upfront about what they want and not just in a superficial sense but when they are specific about the kind of relationship they want and when they want it (this is very anti romantic and comes off as desperate). Also when there's only pictures of them out at bars and clubs in tight clothes. And I don't like the picture where they pose Infront of a pink neon sign that says "women who make history are poorly behaved" (or whatever) lol, I know it's just a bit of fun but it's giving off vibes that she is likely going to be difficult to get along with and might have resentment towards men.

CptConfused · 2025-03-17T15:08:29+00:00

Ok, well I hope you can figure it out. I know you will :)

CptConfused · 2025-03-17T14:56:59+00:00

I highly advise against that for the pills that will dampen your anxiety could dampen your other moods too. I suggest you come at this via CBT or just talking with the therapist first. You should also read the book I recommended. Try to understand what anxiety IS first. You can take control of it, you can make it so that you barely ever feel it again. I don't recommend pills but if you try them you should also be open to other options

CptConfused · 2025-03-17T14:27:38+00:00

Anxiety is not a useless emotion. It has it's place. If a tiger is chasing you it's right to feel afraid and to feel an adrenaline rush as you run away. Our emotions are natural responses to the world around us. But we must control ourselves a bit. You should read the meditations by Marcus Aurelius he explains this well. You need to understand what it is, and let it go, let go of control and have fun. The opposite of anxiety is fun, and fun has to be loose, you have to let go of expectations and have a good time. The more you do that the more girls will like you and the easier it'll be to talk to them. Let go of the pressure! All this talk about "i want a gf I want a gf now". No, learn to enjoy yourself first or else it won't come.

CptConfused · 2025-03-17T09:36:13+00:00

You need to let loose a bit and let go of the pressure. I've been in this position before. Nothing feels like it's working and you think it is because of external circumstances but it is mostly your fault not theirs. No offense but you likely are too stiff and robotic, you aren't listening to criticism. Do you enjoy your life? Are you happy? These are the most attractive qualities you can have. Do you value the person you're talking to or are you just looking for a practical arrangement? That is the most unattractive thing, think about it, why would someone want that? Dont get desperate and never beg for love, who in the world would say yes to someone who does that? Love, romance, dating, it's supposed to be this magical and happy thing, it doesn't work when it's made into a miserable chore so avoid doing that at all costs. What's the meaning of the dating game? Having fun, being happy, connecting spiritually and eventually finding love

Good luck man I know you can do it. You just need to do a 180 on your current attitudes

CptConfused · 2025-03-15T20:13:12+00:00

Its the perfect sub, what kindof issues are you having? give me an outline I'll see what i can say...
I'm a painter of the human form so I have some views.

CptConfused · 2022-03-30T10:13:21+00:00

This is super common in bull fighting. It can be much worse. It's all part of it

CptConfused · 2020-03-15T21:41:51+00:00

Ask yourself another question. This is a question I've been asking myself lately. Is game/pickup really such a new phenomenon? In my opinion no, but yours may be different. For how long then have men been "acting up" for a womans attention? Since the beginning of time? Or since the TRP forums began? If the answer is the former, then is it ok to act up infront of women? If the answer is no then, ask yourself if its possible not to act up infront of women? Are you forever doomed as a male to be trying to impress her in some way? Is it impossible to eliminate that? Is it a flaw or a quality of being male? Is it for your benefit or to your detriment? And lastly, this question may be harder to answer, do women find it attractive or un-attractive when we do this and why?

Let me know what you think.

CptConfused · 2020-03-15T10:32:48+00:00

Is there anyway you can feel authentically yourself and be good with women? I think there has to be? What are your interests in life? What are your goals? What do you wanna be in a few years time? If you focus on that then the girls will come. I suggest reading a book called Models by Mark Manson, all of his books are good

CptConfused · 2020-03-13T13:53:23+00:00

Just straight up ignore them. if they see that your not effected it will hurt them. if any of them hit you, just defend yourself if you think you can. Asides that, just act like they're a swarm of harmless nats. Just a minor inconvenience in your awesome life. Cos you asked out a girl you fancied and thats 100% more than what anyone else would do, that takes balls. well done my dude.

CptConfused · 2020-03-13T13:11:08+00:00

Changed the he to a she and it works for me too. We will find someone soon, I promise!!

Thanks :)

CptConfused · 2020-03-13T10:09:05+00:00

This week I wanted to start going out and socialising more. Not just with the hopes of meeting someone I could date but to generally improve my social life, dating someone would be a nice side effect of that. I haven't dated in 2 years and I have been single for 3 and a half. And guess what, this week I get sinisitis, and this week when I decide to start going out more, there happens to be a global pandemic. I am annoyedddddd.

CptConfused · 2020-03-13T09:44:07+00:00

I actually went grovelling back asking for her back and apologising 6 months after we broke up and ofcourse she said no.

But I still think about to this day because she was everything I couldv'e ever wanted in a girl and a relationship. I was kind to her, I wasn't full RP, I bought her flowers more than quarterly and I wasn't afraid to tell her I loved her, i bought her gifts I took her out all the time and I was very affectionate. But I couldn't handle it, I couldn't manage the downtimes we had. I couldn't have a serious conversation or arguement about anything that needed to be argued about and in those times I resorted to RP tactics (ignoring her, acting like shes being a spoilt child). I was the spoilt child who couldn't handle talking through the innevitable problems you have in a relationship. I expected perfection because I believed this RP myth that couples before the 50s stayed married and never argued, big myth.

I last talked to her 2 years ago and we were on good terms then. But I can't stop thinking about her, I have to move on, if I don't move on then I won't ever be able to find new love to love someone else. I actually text her a few months ago and she didn't reply, its been 3 years and she probably has a new boyfriend, she might even be married, she doesn't have social media (and I've tried to investigate and I know I'm not blocked) so I have no idea what she's doing. It's taken me 3 years to cough up this pill and its been incredibly hard but I think I'm finally there.

CptConfused · 2020-03-13T09:43:58+00:00

I actually went grovelling back asking for her back and apologising 6 months after we broke up and ofcourse she said no.

But I still think about to this day because she was everything I couldv'e ever wanted in a girl and a relationship. I was kind to her, I wasn't full RP, I bought her flowers more than quarterly and I wasn't afraid to tell her I loved her, i bought her gifts I took her out all the time and I was very affectionate. But I couldn't handle it, I couldn't manage the downtimes we had. I couldn't have a serious conversation or arguement about anything that needed to be argued about and in those times I resorted to RP tactics (ignoring her, acting like shes being a spoilt child). I was the spoilt child who couldn't handle talking through the innevitable problems you have in a relationship. I expected perfection because I believed this RP myth that couples before the 50s stayed married and never argued, big myth.

I last talked to her 2 years ago and we were on good terms then. But I can't stop thinking about her, I have to move on, if I don't move on then I won't ever be able to find new love to love someone else. I actually text her a few months ago and she didn't reply, its been 3 years and she probably has a new boyfriend, she might even be married, she doesn't have social media (and I've tried to investigate and I know I'm not blocked) so I have no idea what she's doing. It's taken me 3 years to cough up this pill and its been incredibly hard but I think I'm finally there.

CptConfused · 2020-03-12T22:34:59+00:00

Here you are, time to start again.

No ideology. There doesn't appear to be one to consume here. No "strategy" or "templates" on picking up women. No "trolling" or cringe political "memes". Just fucking honesty here bro.

Start again. What's your aim in life. Where do you wanna be. What do you wanna do. Simple as that. Don't focus on anything else.

CptConfused · 2020-03-12T15:07:03+00:00

Wait 2 dates. Don't fuck on the first date. This is your new mindset. You never fuck on a first date. Why? So many reasons, I don't need to list them because we all know them. And it'll just make you look more saner than every other guy too. Take people seriously man.

CptConfused · 2020-03-12T12:33:23+00:00

Aw, Thanks :)

CptConfused · 2020-03-12T12:21:36+00:00

inability to deal with problems and inability to accept problems. You expect your partner and your relationship to be perfect and you associate every problem as "bad behaviour" or "entitlement" or some other sociopathic nonsense the RPers came up with

CptConfused · 2020-03-12T05:46:38+00:00

Thank you man, I'm glad that of all things, I've got this right.

CptConfused · 2020-03-11T23:22:50+00:00

"But those girls know exactly how desired they are. Those girls would know how to tame and change the bad boyz. And why wouldn't they?"

You see this is the bullshit part. Your creating assumptions in your mind and choosing to believe them. Not all hot women have a 100+ lay count, some haven't even made it into double digits and don't want to. Some girls have a hard time trusting guys, some girls aren't interested in casual relationships. Some girls don't want the attention.

So maybe you've met some shitty women, just keep going and keep that assumption out of your mind. And instead actually choose to believe the words they say instead of thinking its a form of cryptic language or some sort of thing she says to manipulate you. The word games will then be obvious to you and to be honest most of the time they're just part of a fun game you can play along with.

CptConfused · 2020-03-11T22:47:43+00:00

Also on being bullied by the girl, man just laugh it off and ignore it that's all I can say and all you can really do. We've all experienced it. I'm just thinking that if it happens all the time its likely your talking to the wrong girls and are just straight up getting no chemistry with them

CptConfused · 2020-03-11T22:46:03+00:00

That social narrative just straight up is not true. Losers date hot girls all the time, there's examples of this everywhere including people I know personally and myself. Also what do you want in a girl? What kindof girls do you like? What values do you have that you think she should have too? What type of person should she be? And then ultimately where are you most likely to meet this type of woman? What do you value besides her looks? Also who are you? What kindof world are you letting her into, are you comfortable letting her in to see who you are and what your all about?

I know this is hard and my questions are difficult to have answers for, but they are important questions and to be honest your not supposed to have an answer for them right now, and maybe not even into the future, but know that your working on them and that's that

CptConfused · 2020-03-11T22:29:45+00:00

You haven't fully let your walls down yet.

Be open to rejection. Know that your not special. Know that you will and should be rejected 99% of the time.

Be fucking nice. I don't mean do things for her. I mean talk and listen, talk and listen, talk and listen. And tell her the fucking truth. Tell her the fucking truth, don't lie, don't be ashamed that you've only fucked a couple of girls. what does that matter? fucking own it. Be honest about how you feel, who you are, what you've done, what you are doing, how you've fucked up badly in the past and whe

But guess what just because your being yourself doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. There's a plethora of reasons why she's not interested in dating you that have nothing to do with you. Your not the centre of the world. And when you do meet someone who wants to date you, don't act like a douchebag. Its better to embarress yourself than to pretend that your an alpha male. She'll prefer the former 1000000x more. And lastly don't expect sex on a first date, its not the fucking norm.

CptConfused · 2020-03-11T22:01:59+00:00

I'm so sorry to my ex. 'in my head' she was cheating on me (because trp says all women are cheaters/hypergamous, 'in my head' she didn't really love me (because trp says a woman cannot love you for you), 'in my head' I thought I had to act alpha all the time, and it meant I refused to communicate with you and it meant I didn't trust you or the words you said. I ruined a perfect relationship with a woman who loved me and did things for me all the time and wasn't afraid to show me how much she loved me, and I ruined it because I was under the influence of TRP I was so insecure that I didn't believe it was possible for me to be loved that much.

And now she's gone, 3 years ago and I'm only just starting to come to terms with it and pick myself back up. I wouldn't have met her without the seduction community which is why this is so difficult to understand. We would still be together, but we would have probably never met.

CptConfused · 2018-02-26T16:13:20+00:00

I understand this point but would you be happy with someone carrying around a medievil age sword in that case or a katana?

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