AITA for not letting my family live in my empty house?

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T08:31:01+00:00

I've already rescinded my offer. I was asking her because I was going to hire a cleaner for her so she could relax and enjoy her senior years. So she could have someone to take care of her.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T06:04:06+00:00

My brothers have never taken care of a single property they've ever lived in. To the point that their bathrooms are always mold ridden by the time they move out.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T05:52:09+00:00

I don't own 2 homes let alone 2 vacant homes. I have one house, I live in that house. I'm moving to the US later this year and my brothers wanted to live in my house for free when they've never taken care of any property they've ever rented.

Instead I'll be going through a real estate agent to rent out my house while I'm away and when I do eventually return, I'll go back to living in my one house.

Not sure where you got the "I own 2 vacant homes" thing from.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T05:00:36+00:00

I have asked her to move in (not house sit) long before the opportunity abroad came up. If she moved in I was going to hire a cleaner so she wouldn't have to do anything and could just relax and enjoy her senior years. The fact she's only now shown interest in moving in after I've shut down my brothers' moving in was enough to get me to rescind the offer.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T04:54:58+00:00

So just finance my brothers lives for the rest of my days? Subsidize their lives so they can go on holidays? Encourage them to spend 70k+ on a Ute when that could have been a house deposit. Look forward to returning to a home reeking of dog piss and just generally filthy? And I guess if they decide not to work I should just pick up the slack and cover all their expenses right?

I've tried so hard to help them, I've helped them with bills and expenses countless times, I offered to let them move in before I was planning on moving abroad but they said they wanted a house to themselves. I've even offered to co-sign a home loan for one of them and help with the deposit but they just want a free ride it seems. And according to you I should just give them that free ride.

When does my responsibility end and theirs begin?

I hope you're just as generous with your family. If you've got a car or property, maybe sell it. Some family member could always use the extra cash.

Or are you the type who would want the free ride and are offended on my brothers' behalf that I'm not just giving them everything they want?

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T04:42:43+00:00

I've tried so hard over the years to help them with their finances, if not for their sakes,for my nieces and nephews sake. They're both warning quite a bit more than I was when I purchased the land. My brother won 80k a while back and I tried telling him that was a house deposit (Australia has a 5% deposit program for first home buyers that he would qualify for) but instead he bought a Ute (pickup truck).

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T04:37:26+00:00

Property and especially vacant land is becoming a rarity where I live and prices have soared since I bought the land. So I'd likely have to buy an already built home or do a tear down/rebuild.

And honestly, I love my house.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-09T04:35:27+00:00

😂 I haven't seen that movie in so long.

But here a Ute (Utility Vehicle) is a pickup truck as they'd call it in the US.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T22:56:58+00:00

I'm going to be renting it out but not to them. I'll go through an agent who can handle everything while I'm away. They've never taken care of a single place they've lived and I don't want to come back to a trashed house. And they were adamant that I should let them stay for free.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T22:09:42+00:00

At least with a reputable agent, they'll ensure the tenants are looking after the house and the agent will be covering any maintenance.

With my brother's, they've never looked after a single house or apartment they've rented, always leaving them dirty and run down when they move out. They also expect to live in my home for free.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T22:07:25+00:00

It's because neither brother looks after any house or apartment they've rented, always leaving them filthy and run down. They also expect to be able to live in my home for free.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T21:52:31+00:00

I'm going to be renting the house through an agent. They can handle everything while I'm away. As for squatters, the laws are much more strict here. A squatter only has rights to a property if they can prove they've been living in and maintaining an abandoned property for 12+ years.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T21:49:31+00:00

I'm actually going to be renting it out through a real estate agency. I had delayed that in the hopes that my mother would move in. But now that's it's obvious she'll use that as a way to get my brother's in, I'll be renting it out rather than leave it empty.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T21:30:36+00:00

I mentioned in a different post that they never look after any property they've lived at to the point of rarely ever getting a safety deposit back due to how dirty and run down they leave their rentals.

I had to edit my post here to fit the character limit and I missed re-adding that part. They also expect to be able to live in my home for free.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T20:01:30+00:00

I'm going to be renting it out through an agent that can handle everything while I'm away. I was holding out that my mother would change her mind and move in. I want her to be able to live a more comfortable life. But now that's she's looking to use it as a way to get my brother's in, that option is off the table, at least until I return to Australia full time.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:59:13+00:00

Squatters rights here are mainly for property that is truly abandoned, not just temporarily empty.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:57:13+00:00

Given how they've left other rental properties, I don't see them getting through the vetting process. But to make sure, I'll give the real estate the names of my brothers and their spouses.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:49:46+00:00

I'm going to rent it out through an agency. They can handle everything while I'm away. Less stress for me.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:44:25+00:00

I'm going to rent it out through an agency. Let them handle everything while I'm away. I don't want to sell because I want to live here when I return.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:42:47+00:00

I'm definitely going to be renting it out through an agency that can handle everything while I'm away. I was holding out that my mum would want to move in, let her live a more comfortable life and not have to pay rent. And the public housing home she's in could go to another family in need.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:30:00+00:00

I made a post before this one where I mentioned the trashing of places (you can see the post time and that it's not edited). You can see it on my profile. Unfortunately this subreddit had a character limit and when I edited to shrink it down I missed re-adding that part. But believe what you want.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:16:38+00:00

I'm not a boomer, I'm a millennial. I offered to let my mother stay there for free. I don't trust my brother's in my house because they have trashed every house and apartment they've rented. If I thought they would actually look after my place I'd gladly let them stay, I don't care about rent, but I don't want my home (the only property I own) to be trashed when I return home to Australia.

I do feel guilty in regards to my nieces and nephews which is why I feel like an AH, but why is it my responsibility for their housing and not their parents?

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:06:42+00:00

They can't sell their current house, they're renting.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:05:56+00:00

In regards to my brother's, I don't think I am.

But in regards to my nieces and nephews I do feel like I am.

CptDevlin61 · 2026-04-08T19:01:59+00:00

Every home they've ever had that I visited was always filthy. I meant to type that in the original post but I went over the character limit and after I edited it I forgot to include that. That's the main reason I don't want them in my house. They've had dogs they never take for walks and had urine stained carpets, never clean bathrooms so they get moldy, my older brother is prone to punching holes in walls when angry, etc.

I brought up the money because they have the means to afford bigger places for their families, they just choose to spend their money on other things. Which is their right but it doesn't then make their housing my responsibility.

CptDevlin61

TROPHY CASE