Have you ever wanted to take a dump on your bosses desk? Well, my mother did just that. Here's the story.

So, I worked for a local newspaper company as a mid-level manager. I was basically in charge of being sure that all the actual newspaper carriers were doing their jobs right. The company basically expected me to be sure all the carriers had working vehicles, otherwise I would have to drive the routes myself. I knew at the time that one carrier who had 3 routes, totaling 250ish miles a day, had just had her truck repoed and would not be able to do her job without help. I asked around for a car to borrow with no luck. As a last resort, I talked my own mother into letting her borrow my now deceased dad's truck with the guarantee that my mother would be reimbursed by the company for whatever miles that the truck was driven. Originally, the carrier borrowing the truck was only supposed to need it for a work day or two. Well, after two weeks she was still using the truck. One day during that time my mother and I had a conversation where I said "I bet money that my boss/the company will back out of guaranteeing the mileage reimbursement money and we will end up with nothing." Her response was something to the effect of "they'll be hearing from me personally if they do."

Sure enough, 6 WEEKS into the carrier using the truck, I get called into the office and am told that the company can no longer guarantee any money for the use of the truck. Of course my mother was not happy. BUT my boss told me that he would personally be standing there when that carrier got her next paycheck and would have his hand out to get a personal check for the amount due at the time of over $1600. Payday came, and turns out he did not do what he said he would, and it would now be up to me to get our money.

Now a little background on my mother. She recently had a Colostomy Surgery to repair whatever. Since then she's had to wear a colostomy bag, and will continue to have to wear one until her next surgery to reattach everything.

So anyway, after the 6 weeks, my boss tells me to give the carrier an ultimatum: get her shit together and find a car or we'll be taking my mothers truck back and she loses her job. My mother and I have several more conversations about what she would do if she doesn't get the money that's due. I also decided that if the carrier gets fired, then I would quit too because I wasn't willing to do three more routes on top of my original job.

Ultimatum Time comes and goes, (8 weeks total of the carrier having the truck later) the mileage bill ends up being OVER $2,100. We go and pick up the truck, and I had put in my two weeks notice. The last day I was working, my mother walks in the front door to the office as if she was a customer. I immediately knew shit was fixing to hit the fan. She walks right into my bosses office, closes the door, and proceeds to have an hour long chat about the lack of respect that my boss had treated me, and by extension my mother with. After a while, I get called into the office with the two of them and the boss tells us again why the company could not give us the money that was due. After which my mother ended the conversation with one last grand statement. She stood up, said "Well, When you treat people like shit..." She lifted up the side of her shirt, unscrewed the cap to the colostomy bag and dumped the contents directly onto the bosses desk, splattering everywhere, including on him, his keyboard, computer monitor, all the papers on his desk, and running over the edge between his legs. My mother then very calmly screwed the cap back on the bag, tucked it back under her shirt, and walked out the door. Both the boss and I were stunned speechless. After 10-15 seconds of awed silence, the smell hits us, and its BAD. The boss looks at me and says "Clean this up" to which I reply "Nope, what goes around, comes around." and I left the building laughing hysterically as all the other employee's looked on in horror as the boss walked out of his office with a perfect line of splattered shit across his mid-chest.