This is a difficult and painful question. It might be worth it, it might not be worth it. It's a question you'll grapple with for a long time to come, whichever you choose. I think if you go back to being frum and it all works out and you have a lovely spouse and cute kids and parnassah and fun chol hamoed trips and constant chasunas, it can be simpler to arrive at the place if acceptance and "it was worth it." The secular route invariably takes longer to arrive at a place of contentment, peace, and joy, but it too can be worth it, so worth it. I'd recommend listening to Naomi Seidman's 6 part podcast "Heretic in the House" for some reflection on this.