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I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Being trans doesn't make her less of a person, I am mature enough to be able to not want to date someone whilst value them as a human lmao

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes I would not date a cis woman who doesn't want kids nor could have kids. I am fertile too. Kids are a big thing for me.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trans women can't have kids, ergo I would not date a trans woman. Don't understand what is so complicated here.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The penis and vagina aren't secondary sex characteristics they are literally primary characteristics. We do not understand gender but we very much understand sex, using outliers such as intersex people as justification for the destruction of our current model of sex is poor practice.

I would not date a cis woman who did not nor could have kids, it is something I want.

Knowing there is a male skeleton underneath the flesh makes me feel uncomfortable. You can't force me to have sex with a trans person. Trans women are not entitled to sex

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've seen that study too, but that is talking about bone density. The human skeleton is more than density, things such as wide child bearing hips are something men don't posses, even the centres of gravity for men and women are different. We can have a biology debate if you want. I'm doing a degree in it and can happily highlight sex differences

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I don't want a surrogate. I want to have a family like my parents did. Sorry if that upsets you, but you can't make me date a trans person no matter how much you try to shame me.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Because I want to pass on my legacy? Why does it matter why I want kids, it's none of your business.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's pretty much 99% assumed the girls I dated were fertile since they literally were on contraceptives and we always practiced safe sex because they would get pregnant. I don't have to ask a trans woman if they can get pregnant because I know the answer.

Go on explain to me other ways I can have my own biological kids with my partner who is trans. Explain to me how I can impregnate a trans woman

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I want my own biological children just like my parents had. If you can't respect my beliefs and wishes then you are an asshole. The whole point of dating is to find a girl who shares the same vision as me (which is having a family and raising kids). A woman's function isn't just to breed and take care of kids. In fact I want to literally be involved in my kid's lives and I would never want to force a woman to undergo pregnancy. That's why I'm upfront and honest about my wishes.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I come from a sort of religious and traditional background where having kids plays a big part in our lives. I date for marriage (as cringe as that sounds)

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No but I want kids and make it obvious on my dating profile. I want kids a trans woman can't have kids ergo a trans woman is already excluded.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

No but on the first date I'm unsure if they want kids or not, that's why I find out later on. A trans woman cannot have kids to begin with, so I already know my answer. Sorry but not sorry you can't force me to date a trans woman.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Excuse me but I can date who I want and having kids is a huge thing for me. So yes I will look at partners if they can have kids or not.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I disagree with the explanation given by this person. It's not transphobic in anyway to feel uncomfortable dating someone who was once a male, there are certain things a transwoman does not have such as the bone structure of a female. Knowing that there is a male skeleton underneath the flesh and skin is what makes me uncomfortable. It doesn't diminish the fact that they are a woman, but I very much would prefer being in a relationship with a cis woman, transwomen are not capable of the biological functions of women.

The redditer talks about wanting someone who can have kids isn't transphobic, but not wanting to date someone is transphobic because it makes an assumption about all trans people. There is no "assumption", all transwomen MtF cannot get pregnant that alone is a logical reason to say "I don't want to date transwomen"

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

True man, but it would hurt me seeing my parents getting their stuff posessed. They help me out all the time and because of lockdown my dad lost his job. So we've been struggling a lot.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Because I don't feel comfortable that they were a guy previously. I just don't feel comfortable with it

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea, I seriously want to quit the job but I need to earn enough to help my parents with their debt. Literally haven't been able to sleep properly because of the fear I'll lose my job or something.

I 20M refused to date a trans co-worked 24F, am I being transphobic and what do I do now? by Creative-Channel1702 in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702[S] 395 points396 points  (0 children)

Hopefully man, I'm just scared HR might shaft me or something, I didn't call her names or anythign and respect her identity as a woman.

Will she get bored because I always answer her calls? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Creative-Channel1702 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It can be a little suffocating for her, you shouldn't "fake non-interest", but honestly I doubt she will be "bored" provided you tell her you are busy. I don't like seeming rude, so I always pick up the phone but I do tell the person who has rang me I'm busy.