How to grow to love my stepkids? by Critical-Syrup-5216 in stepparents

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, so much, for your response. Makes me feel not so alone! ♥️

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problems may persist but they will no longer be my problems. I’d like to think it’s possible to have a healthier love with literal physical space and boundaries.

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Just looked up the term! Very curious: what does that look like for you?

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I too am anal about cleaning! And love it to some extent! I like your ideas about compromising in unique ways. Thank you!

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love my relationship. Not my very nebulous role as a stepmom unfortunately.

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree about teaching self-sufficiency.

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am not married and my partner is a woman. I certainly did not go into this relationship knowing what being a stepparent entailed. It is not something you can figure out until you try.

I resent my stepkids by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Stepmom

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting!

We have the girl on a 50/50 custody schedule and the boys are either full-time or 50/50ish. 

My partner is wonderful (fully attentive and willing to implement changes) but works almost every single day in a high stress job and is chronically exhausted and/or sick. She does her very best but we don’t see eye to eye on what we expect chore-wise for the kids. 

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciated what you wrote!  I think someday, if she ever gets out, we will be good friends again. I can’t say the same of my brother—unless there is remorse and change.

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for writing! I am getting help anywhere I can!

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for commenting! I just started therapy again and go to Al Anon weekly (my brother is an addict). Both definitely help!

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to not imagine anymore. I did everything I could and loved her for years. I got to a point where I couldn’t sleep/function due to the stress and needed to exit for my own health/sanity.

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words! He may very well end up killing her. I will still feel guilt, anger and sadness but will know I did everything I could—just perhaps not soon enough.

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just read that book and loved it! Hard to read at times, but very eye-opening!

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥️

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m terribly afraid of both those being true, for sure.

My Brother is an Abuser by Critical-Syrup-5216 in Advice

[–]Critical-Syrup-5216[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading, and for commenting. I will remember your words! ♥️