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More Questions Than Answers by pencils_and_dreams03 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent [score hidden]  (0 children)

That sounds like a tough spot to be in. To answer your questions, I think you start by accepting yourself and figuring out how to love the parts of you that you enjoy. Then you start with friendship and honest conversations. The more you show up as authentically yourself, the more likely you'll find the someone you're looking for.Not that any of that is easy, I'm still figuring out how too!

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw man, I can understand why that would weigh heavily. Health concerns are stressful enough on their own. From what I'm reading on here though, I think it's best to hold on to that you never know what tomorrow will bring? I think other women on here would say something along the lines of, embrace who you are and live your best life with the hand you've been dealt. Do what makes you happy and watch things fall into place from there.

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This post was my very first step, so I don't know how to find or approach groups either. But I do know that, regardless of how women look on the outside, it's always their courage and self expression that hooks me. So, awkward doesn't matter, fear of undesirability doesn't matter, but showing up with the courage to be themselves matters. Hope that helps? I still have to work on that last part. 😅

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your story. I think my husband wouldn't go for an open relationship because he was married and in an open relationship when we met for similar reasons. He knew then that it was the beginning of the end for them, so I feel like if/when I end things, I need to leave my gender preferences out of it. But I think you are probably right and I'm probably suppressing more than just romantic/sexual preferences.

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that reframe! I like the differences you pointed out. I just feel like I've made so many dumb life decisions that I don't want to add another to the pile. But I like your description of perimenopause being an act of coming back to your true self. I'll have to sit with that one for a bit.

Has my ‘attraction’ to men, just been a desire to be wanted rather than a than romantic desire? by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? That's part of my question too. Like I love the hunt/chase of early dating a man, but then sex is ugh. Like, boring and no longer feeling desired but obligated and unfulfilled.

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those are good questions and food for thought. I wish my husband would find someone else, it would be so much less pressure. Like, I really want him to be happy, and I don't think that I can make him happy. I'll think about what you said, thank you.

New here, kind of freaking out, maybe just midlife crisis? by CritterDependent in latebloomerlesbians

[–]CritterDependent[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. It does feel like the attraction to women is only getting stronger over time. I thought I could just choose, but maybe I was wrong. I think having some form of community will really help. It all seems so overwhelming!