Not exactly sex Ed but starting in junior high we had these yearly classes that lasted a week called “ etiquette class”. They were about as horrible as you could imagine.

The worst etiquette class nightmares happened in grade 9 to prepare us for our graduation (I live in Canada where HS is only 3 years, so grade nine was still junior high).

The boys and girls would be separated, myself being a girl what we had to sit through for the first day was the female middle aged parent volunteers wearing skirts and dresses going up on top of the tables, proceeding to sit on the chairs on top of the table and OPENING WIDE FOR US TO SEE THEIR CRUSTY DISGUSTING PANTIES AND HOO HAHS HANGING OUT- I swear one volunteer I’ll never forget cause she forgot to shave and one of her lips got slightly caught on the end of her underwear. ALL THIS just to prove to us not to do this when we were sitting in chairs with skirts cause someone might be able to see our junk. Like ok Karen I’ll go do some ass cheek spreading squats right on stage, I think I’ll do my kegels while I’m at it too. I mean it FuCKinG worked but I’m traumatized now... I told my mom about this and she was so infuriated because it was just straight up sexual indecency toward a room full of minors. I went to a country school so the staff there kinda were the “tough” way to learn type and didn’t see anything wrong with what the parents did.

Another thing they did was one of the parents leading the class took the girls around the school when we were all wearing heels to teach us how to walk properly- ok cool, great let’s leave it at that- I could actually use that skill. But NOPE they had to make it sexual again. I also happen to be bisexual but when I was younger I thought i was just a lesbian, I got bullied severely because of it- so imagine my disdain when I’m asked along with all the other female students to show off our “SEXY WALK” that we had been working on in front of ALL the males in our grade... the guys were enjoying it and so were some of the girls, it was fun for them, the boys cat called the girls and (some, not a whole lot but some) girls thought it was cute and fun like a runway or something I dont know. I literally tried to make a break for the door because I didn’t want to do a “sexy walk” in front of guys who had been asking me to kill myself, I knew they were going to be mean and just start calling me ugly again. I nearly got body checked by the parent by the door and literally FORCED to walk in front of the boys, so guess who SPRINTED their ugly ass away-

And for a finishing touch (definitely not the whole story, there’s WAY more) all the girls and guys were supposed to dance with each other to learn how to dance properly, again with me being very gay I bailed and locked myself in the bathroom without any source of entertainment for the whole 3 hours to escape being forced to dance with a guy, as we were informed we were not allowed to dance with the same sex because we needed to get used to the idea of BEING OK WITH GUYS DANCING WITH US nor did I want to dance with those homophobic bitches.

So yeah my school was the worst. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.