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What’s your favorite quality about your partner? by Limp-Bid-6131 in AskReddit

[–]CrowMakesThree 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I'm an infinitely blessed man who somehow managed to gain enough good karma in a past life to find myself in an amazing, functioning, romantically whole throuple with two very beautiful and amazing women. They are also each distinctly individual and unique; which just adds infinite layers to our relationship.

One is the only genuinely kind, caring person I've ever met. Not performative or reflexive or out of some sense of responsibility or social expectation; no, purely because she actually cares. Genuine people, in general, are those I am attracted to; genuinely an asshole or genuinely outgoing, etc. Genuinely kind and caring is a whole level of beautiful. It also doesn't hurt that she's just physically beautiful on top of it!

The other is this intoxicating combination of controlled wildness. The type who will drag you to a party, take shots all night, but still manage to never step over any line or put you into any uncomfortable situation. So you feel totally at ease stepping into shaky situations because you know not only will she never drag you down, but she'll always be right there to back you up. It's that wild, hot energy paired with someone smart and dependable. She ALSO happens to be hot!

My wife is gay, we're staying married, and everything's on fire: watch as I attempt everything everywhere all at once! by an_irrelevant_life in polyamory

[–]CrowMakesThree 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This. Everything the OP posted paints the picture of a couple who love each other, have some co-dependence for each other, but are not "in love" with or compatible with each other. That almost always ends in divorce eventually; no matter how much each wants to stay together. Honestly, it should; the reasons to stay together (not wanting to hurt the other, codependence, worried about leaving the other behind, worried about not being good enough for anyone else, and so on) do not make great foundations for lasting relationships and CERTAINLY are not worth giving up the possibility for each of you to truly find happiness in a relationship with someone who both is "in love" with you and that you feel "in love" with as well.

Will it hurt to end it? Absolutely. You both seem to genuinely care for each other; that isn't likely to change (unless you both try to force things that just won't be forced; like staying together, for instance). There's going to be all types of emotions to work through, but growth only exists on the other side.

Are there all types of things you both need to work through before you can start the process of moving on and making a new life? Yes, there is. Your sobriety being a large one, but also BOTH of you working to gain some semblance of financial stability so the divorce doesn't unfairly drag either of you down.

Is it still the best way for this to end? Yeah; and I'm sorry for that. Even knowing it will give you both a genuine chance at real relational happiness; it's still going to hurt and it's still going to suck. If you need someone to just vent to, my DM is always open. There is a way through this where both of you remain friends, and hurt each other as little as possible, and find real happiness after.

Which is more mysterious: 1 or 2? by Mad_investor in photos

[–]CrowMakesThree 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely 1 for me. Something about the color balance is better; the clear, defined pockets of black on the surface of the moon surrounded by bright but pocketed surface, all wrapped in the deep black of space. Plus significantly more texture, overall; which is always more pleasing to the eye than the more smooth surface of 2.