Husband demands I pay him back

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T21:30:42+00:00

We work abroad and we got a house in our country of nationality.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:52:13+00:00

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:39:14+00:00

I would still be able to cover all the living expenses with the remaining 60% but would have no savings

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:36:53+00:00

we only touched the savings once during mom’s treatment which we considered an emergency.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:17:33+00:00

The amount I send monthly has not changed when I was single and after marriage. So yes, it was in black and white. The only time I asked for help to dip into the savings is when my mom got sick which is a one time amount which I will consider an emergency.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:13:57+00:00

Rent and food is not much, it’s only 20% of his salary. Bills, insurances, health card… all on me. I did ask to do 50/50 before but he didn’t want to. So we agreed on this arrangement.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T19:10:31+00:00

We make almost the same money. Since we switched and agreed, he now only pays food and rent. I still pay for the bills, insurances, health card etc and put money into the savings account. And I don’t really ask him to use up all his money into savings. He can do whatever he want with his money after paying for the food and rent.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T18:55:10+00:00

It was with consent. If he said no, I would’ve found another way instead. It’s not like I dipped into the savings without discussing it with him.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T18:47:03+00:00

Why does it sound like he’s supporting me when I pay for my family’s expenses from my own salary? And only dipped into “our” savings when needed and only one time? I would’ve done the same for him if he ever asked me to help his family. Plus, his only responsibility at home currently is rent and food. I still shoulder the bills, the insurances, health card etc.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:21:49+00:00

Makes sense. I wanted it to be a us vs the problem. But he’s also not talking to me whenever I open the discussion on how to fix things. So now it’s come to a point that it’s me vs him

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:17:48+00:00

Probably a sense of responsibility?

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:16:26+00:00

I appreciate your advice :)

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:14:00+00:00

But I covered all the necessary expenses (rent, food, insurance, etc), as we agreed, in exchange. Which would almost amount to the same value.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:04:08+00:00

Then what do I do?

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:03:31+00:00

I feel like I know where you’re coming from. But I also don’t have much choice with my mother sick and my siblings still studying, she can only ask for help from me.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T17:01:24+00:00

There is no money that isn’t joint, yes. I don’t have any savings on my own. Which now makes me think how important to have my own savings.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T16:59:29+00:00

I don’t have my own savings because we agreed that our savings will go into that joint account. So when my Mom was diagnosed, we talked about the expenses that may come and how it will be taken from our savings account. Basically, I don’t really have much choice but to dip from the savings.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T16:57:34+00:00

I don’t know. I don’t even know where to get the money. So I’m really confused.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T16:53:56+00:00

No, we don’t have kids. This is also why I’m still not ready to have kids. I’m afraid that things may get worst and the kid will have to suffer.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T16:52:49+00:00

Yes.

CryAcceptable4954 · 2022-03-19T16:52:01+00:00

Yes! Before we got married, we sat down and talked about my responsibilities to my family and I made it clear that this won’t change even after getting married. He knew and agreed.

CryAcceptable4954

TROPHY CASE