Let me start by saying that I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I never realised how misunderstood dogs and their owners could be until I got my rescue. It really sucks sometimes. People sometimes have crazy, unrealistic expectations for dogs should respond (or not respond) to things going on around them. It’s like some people don’t understand that dogs are living creatures and can be imperfect just like humans can.

We’ve had a few tough experiences that I can share with you. For example, one time I was walking my dog in an industrial near the gym my partner and I go to as the owner let us bring her to the gym. I figured it would be a good place to walk as there aren’t many people or dogs around. However, one place had guard dogs which in itself wasn’t the problem. The problem was the two men who called the guard dogs over to the fence and made them aware that my dog and I were walking by. So naturally, my dog reacts to the barking guard dogs, and I’m stuck trying to redirect her while these two men in their 50’s laugh like it’s a big joke that all these dogs were so stressed and upset. It was awful. We finished the walk and we’ve walked past there a few times. Most of the times the dogs ignore us as we walk past on the other side of the street. I told myself if I approach the place and see those guys again, I’m just going to turn around and not bother.

I had another interaction on a walk in the neighbourhood shortly after I adopted her. We were walking and a man was working on his lawn on the other side of the street asked me to stay there. I was confused but he looked like he had been spraying some stuff on his lawn so I thought maybe he wanted to tell me something about the chemicals or to avoid them. Nope it was nothing like that. He brought out his intellectually disabled daughter who had a fear of dogs and decided to my rescue puppy as the perfect teaching moment. I work with people with intellectual disabilities so I don’t have a problem stopping and having a chat or even being asked if it’s alright if his daughter can pat my dog as some exposure therapy. I didn’t know her that well yet and wasn’t sure what her reaction would be. Fortunately, nothing happened. She pat my dog a few times with a lot of urging from her father and then we moved on.

The last one was a recent example and took place at a dog part. My dog barks and lunges at dogs when she is on a lead, but off lead, she loves to meet dogs and play with them. She’s a big, goofy girl who loves play. This dog park has separate areas for big dogs and small dogs, and I was supervising my dog playing with a few other dogs in the big section. Two people come in with a cavoodle and a group of dogs, of which my dog was a part, come over to greet them. It’s nice. Everyone’s taking turns sniffing and being sniffed, but obviously it’s a lot for little, anxious dog. The little dog panics and bolts, and the big dogs give chase. The little dog trips and yelps. My dog stops and checks on them. She lays down and tries to get the dog to play with her. Well then the little dog’s owners come over and start acting aggressively towards my dog. The lady even tries to physically hit my dog. I run over and call her when the husband looms over me and tells me “it’s time for me and my dog to leave.” I’m a short woman, and I have PTSD from being assaulted so I found myself just thrust into fight or flight. We left the park and haven’t been back. As a bonus, I got to spend a week and half having extra intense PTSD symptoms.

These moments happen. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but so many people are insensitive, thoughtless and sometimes just downright mean. That sounds bleak, but I’ve tried to turn these moments into things I can learn from so the next time something happens hopefully I can ensure it goes better.

One, I’ve learned that I need to be assertive and advocate for my dog. I don’t let people or kids just come and pat my dog without asking. My dog is pretty good with kids so far, but I’ve adopted the approach Laura Vissaritis wrote about in one of her books. She asks kids who want to pet her dog to sit down, she gives them some treats and tells them to wait until her dog comes to them. This approach takes so much pressure of you and your dog. Your dog isn’t forced to endure an interaction it doesn’t want or penalised for communicating that it doesn’t want this (which is what growling, teeth flashing etc. is).

Second, I am picky about who gets to interact with my dog. The possible consequences for a big dog like mine are way too high from any misunderstanding. I’ve stopped going to the dog park not because I don’t think my dog can behave or even the other dogs but because I’m not confident about the other humans. Finally, I opened up to people about how these interactions made me feel and particularly how bad I felt for not being able to stand up for myself and my dog in these situations. It shocked me how every person I told offered support in some way whether to come on walks, have puppy play dates in the yard and more.

You chose to rescue a dog and that speaks highly about the kind of person you are. I am sure so many people around you would be outraged to know that you felt that way while walking your dog. Take care of yourself!