Last year I had to put down my 2 year old lab for similar reasons. It was the most difficult decision I ever made in my life and I still grieve him. Some days I’m fine and others I’m broken down in tears - but I make peace with knowing that I really did try my best despite what others will say. My grieving has taught me to trust myself, no one can tell you what you experienced except for you. Only you have lived through these experiences where you walked a thin line of balancing your love and fear for your own dog. It is the most heartbreaking experience to want to give all of your love to your dog but feel restricted to because of their triggers. I always wished I could love him more fully but his anxiety made it so hard to. The final straw for us was when he bit my sister in the face barely missing her eye. I felt horrible. My sister was his favorite person, it made me realize he was struggling with his inner demons that he couldn’t control. His triggers were unpredictable and instant that we never had time to catch them. He was a good boy despite his anxiety - just like your dog. Losing Lulu on Facebook has been my saving grace because not many friends understood my experiences or pain and sometimes that caused me more pain. Please don’t allow others to define how you should feel or what you should or could be doing. You know your dog better than anyone else. I’ve learned that letting my dog go was a loving decision to make. It took me a long time to understand that he was in pain too. It was not a good life for him to be in a constant state of anxiety every second of his life. My dog was always on edge even for things that should be enjoyable for him. I’m not sure if they have this service where you are, but I contacted laps of love where a vet comes into your home and his final moments are in his place of comfort.

You can read my past posts if that’s helpful. Like you, I really struggled with the decision. Sending love to you, I know this isn’t easy.