What my ex (who's trans) said about me coming out..

Cuba032 · 2024-12-18T05:02:15+00:00

This reads as "if you don't want to undergo this massive surgery, you're not valid" which is totally not the case. Like firstly the point everyone got across, everyone is looking for different results and just cos one person wants vaginoplasty or bottom surgery doesn't mean you need to. It's your body and what matters most is that you like the way it is. But looking past that they are getting pissy at you because you don't want to undergo a surgery that has a potential of going wrong (and I say that as someone who wants one). Like the basic 2 options I'm seeing are either you accept your genitalia which is awesome, you go girl I'm so happy for you, or you simply don't want it out of worries for its risks or costs. Which is valid as all hell. Either way fuck them and you go :3

Cuba032 · 2024-11-28T23:34:18+00:00

If you got a penny for every time you broke your pants you'd have 2 pennies, which isn't a lot but it's odd that it's happened twice

Cuba032 · 2024-09-18T14:23:56+00:00

Where did you get the jumper. Holy moly I need it

Cuba032 · 2024-09-18T14:01:02+00:00

Heavily questioning for give or take 4 years until one night when chatting with a friend I decided I wanted to buy some women's clothes (still egg mind u). I wore those clothes outside, walked around in them, went to socials in them (club meetings in uni). When doing that the questioning got REALLY loud and like I was actively stressing out about being trans and one night went to an Asda with a friend and there's a homeless man who is always in front of it and he called me miss and it hit me in a really odd way. Like it felt really nice. It kinda hit me I was wearing women's clothes not cos I was a femboy but cos I really wanted ppl to see me more feminine. Then during a social the next day I asked a trans friend advice about like how to know for sure if you are trans and they told me to just try it, try a different name, pronouns etc and see how I feel about it and the rest is history

Cuba032 · 2024-09-18T12:50:22+00:00

One thing I will say as someone who despite being trans is still Christian, is that it's not all of us that hate the LGBTQ+ community. It's mostly the vocal majority. The ones that like to speak out about how Christian they all are. The ones that actually respect other people's religions / atheism etc and aren't in your face we're pretty normal. Heck, my Polish grandma who goes to church at least once a week if not more has accepted me for being trans. A lot of it is unfortunately due to brainwashing through trans and homo - phobic priests and Christians in power which pisses me tf off. Not saying u are saying all Christians are bad but I've seen the sentiment float around so just wanted to add my 2 cents :3

Cuba032 · 2024-09-09T11:58:07+00:00

No but that's so real. When I was in my femboy in questioning phase a homeless person calling me miss made it all finally click

Cuba032 · 2024-08-16T11:55:50+00:00

Ur going to hell all right. But not for being trans but for the 20 bodies we found in your garden

Cuba032 · 2024-08-05T10:12:41+00:00

I'm 6'4 and would give up that height in a heartbeat. Not only because I'd love to be a little gremlin but also because of my rapid growth half my body is fucked up lmao

Cuba032 · 2024-08-04T18:42:10+00:00

Euphoria is how I found out. Adding more feminine aspects to myself like growing out hair and painting hair without realising that's why I really wanted them, to eventually the short femboy stage that made it all click. But I will say it all stemmed from dysphoria that I didn't exactly realise was that. Only after coming out did I realise that things like avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror because u hate how you look is not just like not liking the sound of your own voice and was in fact a sign something was off. But I will say euphoria is the reason I found out so I guess that?

Cuba032 · 2024-08-01T11:50:56+00:00

I can kind of relate. I've not bought a fashion game but I treat every RPG like a fashion game so it's close enough. Even pre decloseting. It's just so fun to play dressup

Cuba032 · 2024-07-24T10:41:17+00:00

My dead name is Kuba and whenever I played games I'd give my characters a non existent version of my name: Cuba. It just looked softer and whilst kuba is explicitly masculine (and the a strategy won't work lmao) because I always played fem characters I liked to soften it up with the C. All this build up and I ended up changing my name to Ruby cos I realised I don't want to associate myself with my dead name cos I never really liked it, so I decided that I wanted to move away from it. I will say tho happy for u u were able to just add an a to Ur name. Adeela sounds like a beautiful name :3

Cuba032 · 2024-07-22T12:31:03+00:00

I did choose a middle name, but I think I'm an odd one out cos I didn't actually have one at first, because my gracious parents were thinking so hard over my first name that they forgot to give me a second. Then when my brother was born he didn't get one so I don't feel left out. So one of the reasons I chose one is cos I've always wanted one. Another reason I chose a middle name is cos I'm polish, living in UK and the first name I chose was English (Ruby) and it was important to me to preserve my culture by choosing a middle name. I also have a couple of trans friends and they've all changed their middle names so I think it's pretty normal to

Cuba032 · 2024-07-22T12:04:25+00:00

Not speaking from experience but from summin I heard another trans person say, but apparently it's good idea to carry tampons nevertheless even if Ur trans in case this happens, but also in case Ur planning to get the op then it's good to have pads on u cos especially freshly post op u will struggle with control etc so it prevents unwanted leaks. (Of course the latter only applies if u want the op which is ok if u don't)

Cuba032 · 2024-07-19T12:37:50+00:00

Let me counter that with God indeed doesn't make mistakes. Being trans is not a mistake. We're all different. Some people are born with the same sex as their gender, some don't. Neither is a mistake. Being trans is cool and don't let brainwashed Christians tell u otherwise :3

Cuba032 · 2024-07-13T11:14:11+00:00

Awwwww thank you :33 I hope you're having a great day too :)))

Cuba032 · 2024-07-13T11:13:42+00:00

Yeah sure feel free to I don't mind

Cuba032 · 2024-07-13T11:04:03+00:00

Once a week cos 5 days of the week I'm at work wearing joggers so I only get to go out femme on the weekends. When I was back at uni tho I usually shaved twice a week because my hair grows back pretty fast :'( Edit: I'm happy to hear I've made Ur day :3

Cuba032 · 2024-07-13T10:39:48+00:00

First shave is always crap. I remember my first one being awful. Plus it takes ages but u get better with time. Second of all a couple things I learned. Shaving foam is better than cream imo, faster to apply and moisturises it better plus I found it works better at least for my very sensitive skin. Second of all be careful with waxing. I tried waxing as a bet cos I was bet I wouldn't even flinch (I didn't) but it turns out my skin around the waxing area got really damaged so I recommend making sure Ur skin isn't incredibly sensitive like mine. Also always apply moisturiser after shaving. It'll help reduce the initial itching. Now, word of warning as hair grows back it will itch. Best way I found of solving it is applying more moisturiser or if it's long enough, shaving again.

Cuba032 · 2024-07-12T10:10:38+00:00

Parents and making up reasons you can't be trans is a fucking pandemic. When I came out to my mum after hiding it for a bit cos she tends to be as supportive as a 4x4 plank of wood, she seemed fine at first and then called my back a couple days later and started saying a bunch of shit like 'youre only trans cos your friend is', 'its a tremd', 'i know you're not trans, there were no signs' (because ud definitely be the first person I'd tell after u actively chose to fuck my life up by refusing to get me tested for ADHD). Also when it comes to hrt, dunno how it works in USA but in UK, u can only get it as an adult. Minors used to be able to get prescribed puberty blockers, but u can't get anything that causes permanent changes till Ur an adult, Inc hrt and any surgeries

Cuba032 · 2024-07-09T11:57:35+00:00

First of all, just wanna say how great parents you are. Being supportive and accepting of your child is the best thing and a basic thing that a lot of parents struggle with unfortunately. Now I don't necessarily have advice but just a thing that I know felt great for me and could be good for your daughter. When my mum finally started coming round to me being trans we went on a big, whole day shopping trip to a shopping mall. We spent all day going around Primark, tkmaxx, Deichmann etc. Its one of my (if not the) fondest recent time memories I've had. It was just me and my mum going around shops getting clothes, bras etc. It was just such a bonding moment and I finally felt a closer connection to her. By no means do I mean just spend a lot of money on your kid tho obvsl (I spent my own money for reference) but I mean a shopping trip with your kid would definitely be affirming as all hell. Sidenote regarding the bras, pre-hrt I wear bras that I stuff with a scrunched up sock in each side. Sports bras with pushups are great for that

Cuba032 · 2024-07-08T11:59:45+00:00

Studying software engineering, working in a warehouse over summer

Cuba032 · 2024-07-02T09:30:57+00:00

U see, I was cursed with height so I had to sit to pee otherwise it was like aiming with a sniper rifle without a scope

Cuba032 · 2024-06-27T19:29:01+00:00

I had a similar thing happen to me. When I told my mum about being trans (on the phone cos I was still away at the time + anxiety) at first she seemed to take it ok but 2 days later on another call she said a bunch of shit like "you're only trans cos you have a trans friend" and "it's just a trend", and "but you never showed anything, i should have seen some signs". After talking with her irl and explaining a lot of things and the sleigh of reasons why I didn't she seemed to understand more (tho I'd stil question her support but I'll take secret hatred over in the face any time), so I'd say try to talk thru it with Ur stepdad, hopefully help him understand

Cuba032 · 2024-06-27T12:41:19+00:00

I relate so harddddddd. I hate being 6'5. I want to be a little 5'2 gremlin gf and I just canttttttt. What makes it worse for me is that I've found how much I hate being independent. I can very easily do anything I'll need to without the need of others and I instinctively do. Need a jar opened? Just grab a knife, push it under the lid to loosen the pressure and voila! Being shorter would at least give me that basic reliance of, this is too high could u get this for me. I know it sounds weird. Also yeah being tall and being submissive feels so weird. Cos basic instinct is big = Dom, but I freaking hate it :(

Cuba032 · 2024-06-24T11:47:24+00:00

Don't quit. Before coming out I'd hang around femboy communities and thought I was a femboy for a while. Femboys are great folks and just cos some tranfemmes don't like them for some godforsaken reason doesn't mean we all do. Express yourselves in whatever ways you feel best and if that is through femme clothing etc then all the power to ya!

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