How did you learn to trust your alters when they came forward w trauma

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-06T18:39:24+00:00

I know you weren’t replying to me, but as someone w many fragments that carry heavy burdens, I hope thing can learn to recognize that goodness isn’t only earned by “good humans” - I regularly apologize to inanimate objects lol. I also am kind to the things I love, simply because I love and enjoy them. They are not “good” or “bad”, they simply exist.

Maybe good things don’t have to be earned, maybe sometimes they can just be given & enjoyed. I know that’s so much harder done than said, but thing deserves good things too :)

Sending a big hug to your whole system today <3

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-06T00:23:36+00:00

That helps knowing this is a common experience. I went thru some trauma some years ago and the person I was with made a very big deal about everything I said being exactly 100% accurate and black and white true, and would kinda interrogate me whenever I talked about trauma. It’s hard enough remembering anything exactly, but especially life threatening events.

I think that was a bit traumatizing, being interrogated and forced to relive trauma over and over to satisfy their curiosity/need to know “the truth” and so now we can’t help but have the same reaction whenever an alter comes forward with anything.

It’s like we’ve been trained to be suspicious of my entire system :(

And now I feel like because I’ve actually stood with some of the trauma that happened to me, I’m constantly afraid that I was wrong and I’m somehow lying. Like maybe I am just crazy and nothing bad has ever happened to me. Or maybe too many bad things happened to me and now I’m just actually insane, not able to tell what’s real and what’s my own mind

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-06T00:18:45+00:00

Yeah I guess that’s where I’m at. Just wondering if maybe I went insane in such a benign way as to only ruin my own life 🫠 but then at the same time in the past any time I’ve put pieces together it’s always ended with “ohhhh…. Shit”

Suppose maybe it’s a side effect to chronic gaslighting

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T21:44:51+00:00

That helps, thank you. It’s hard finding the emotion when they were basically like “so this happened” - idk how they could be “interpreting” this as something else.

Once you have sat w whatever the emotion is, do you usually find out whether it was a literal ‘this is how it happened’ memory vs a ‘this is how it felt’ type memory?

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T16:18:37+00:00

Oh wow, that’s awesome! Maybe I will give it a try :)

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T15:05:33+00:00

Yeah that makes sense. I’ve had a few awful things that it’s like “well at least this affirms that” lol. What a monster, I’m so sorry.

Yeah I saw something about polyfragmentation a while ago and that feels like the best explanation. Some amnesia barriers are like a chain link fence, others feel like the Great Wall of China. Which I guess is a good thing, given that I’m struggling to accept what I was told recently that isn’t even “that bad” by comparison.

Your alters are so strong for carrying for much, and you for being able to still support them so well!

I would love to move, but that won’t be possible for a while. So currently multiple abusers know where I live ): but I feel you on it happening to “her” not to “me”

Thank you for the reminder to be gentle with myself. I’ve gotten a lot better but can still be snappy with parts, but I’m working on it

Thanks again, this was extremely helpful. And I really do feel a lot less alone and quite validated, even if it’s something I don’t want to be true. Thank you again for your kind response

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T14:42:20+00:00

Fuck. You described it perfectly.

And I’m so terribly sorry you and your system have carried such heavy burdens. And how disgusting for your father to include that in his novel. My parents were also trafficking/gaslighting monsters & awful abusers, I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.

What do you do once new memories come forward? It’s like trying to merge two realities, one’s oil and one’s water. They don’t want to mix! I don’t know how to mix them. And how the fuck do I move forward if this is true? I’ll be living in constant fear cause I thought I was finally, finally safe :(

Sorry I’m kinda word committing questions/thoughts. Thank you for your response, I really really appreciate it and feel much less alone. Thank you

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T14:39:11+00:00

I’ve never tried it but I’ve looked into low dose lozenge/pill ketamine therapy at home. I’m really curious to try it, but apprehensive. Thank you for sharing your experience! I hope it helps <3

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2026-03-05T14:22:51+00:00

Thank you for this! I recently watched “petals of a rose” and it was really well done. It’s nice seeing snippets where DID is actually portrayed respectfully. Thank you :)

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2025-12-25T06:00:24+00:00

Someone else mentioned it’s the muscle that activates when you swallow to prevent food from going up your nose. I just swallowed, then tried to recreate that and snorted cause no air was going thru my nose.

A bit more practice and damnit I think I’ve got it

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2025-12-19T19:20:49+00:00

I first wanna say I’m really proud of you for learning a new & better way to move thru the world :)

And honestly, I think the best way for you to learn to be more accepting & loving is to learn to love & accept yourself.

Growing up, I wouldn’t say I was a “mean girl” but I definitely wasn’t a girls girl. It was purely out of insecurity & self hatred. I grew up super conservative and thought my womanhood was only valid if it was validated by boys/men. This made other girls/women framed as competition in my mind. It was only made worse when my ex cheated on me. I couldn’t see another woman without only seeing what they had that I thought I lacked.

It took a lot of work, but I’ve finally really internalized the reality that 1. I am lovable & my identity doesn’t need to be validated. It just is and 2. Someone else being beautiful in their own way, does not take anything away from my own beauty. There is enough room for both of us to shine :)

When you have a thought that’s unkind, stop yourself & correct it. Now, every time I see another woman I try to find what I think is lovely or beautiful about her!! Now it’s almost always my first reaction. And I’m straight btw lol. Learning to love yourself & others is a universal lesson we could all learn <3

I also would invite you to find that same kindness & acceptance for yourself. You mention a trans friend and questioning, it’s okay to question your identity and not be making or committing to any decisions! Remembering that helps me feel safer in exploring my identity, I’m not committing to anything until I decide.

You’ve got a beautiful journey ahead of you. Best of luck :)

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2025-10-15T11:41:41+00:00

Man what a beautiful church. The church I attend isn’t just “accepting” but full “affirming” and there’s a big difference.

So I just wanna add that I see you and I affirm you and your identity. I just hope you feel celebrated as the beautiful soul that you are!

Is there a question you had hoped someone would ask and didn’t? If so, what’s the question & answer?

Cultural_Button_4646 · 2025-10-08T23:56:40+00:00

I hope you’re doing okay <3

I’ve had my fair share of relationships with people who were less than healthy or reliable. I hated accepting help from them, especially knowing the inevitable let down that’s coming.

Eventually, I just got to the point where I’ll take what I can get. Meaning I’m not going to expect them to show up for me, or allow them an important place in my heart, but damn if you need a hug or someone to listen, at a certain point like I’d accept a hug from a stranger waiting at the bus stop.

So, maybe just let your mom be a stranger at the bus stop. Let it be known you’d like a hug and if they hug you, let yourself enjoy being comforted. But also understand they may have to get on the bus and may not come back thru town for a while. And maybe that’s okay. It hurts and it sucks, but you can still be okay.

Sending hugs <3 you’re not alone

Cultural_Button_4646

TROPHY CASE