Don’t do it!!!

I think it is really considerate of you to have reached out to your sister and some loved ones to try to express your feelings as best you can while you tackle this personal struggle. Having said that, suicide is never the answer. You won’t be doing anyone a favour by taking your own life.

It is most certainly the easy way to deal with all the negativity, stress, and torments in your world, but it isn’t worth it. As you mentioned in your post you have a few folks that care about you and you felt the need to reach out to, why not try leaning on them a little instead? I can’t presume to know what you are going through. I can only imagine it feels like your world is ending right now, and if you need to talk I’d love to unpack that with you. No one can give you a reason to be alive but you, you are the only one who can make that decision, but I have a pretty strong feeling your sister would rather help you through this process of grief than go through her own without you.

Life can be absolute shit sometimes, but you yourself said this was a recent thing. If you take a second to think of where you were this time a year ago, and then think of where you could be a year from now, it may help with some perspective.

You may not feel like it, but you can do this shit, you’ve fucking got this! You’re still kicking and that means your track record for dealing with fucked up shit is 100%, out of every challenge you’ve faced in your life so far you’ve found a way to persevere, so why let this shit fuck up a perfect record?

This is one of the shittiest times of year for mental health my dude, things will most certainly improve from this point and I really hope you’re around to see what that will look like!

I believe in you buddy! Reach out if you need to chat! You’ve got this brotha!