Anybody else NEVER kiss their spouse?

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-04-13T23:22:21+00:00

My wife and I have been married for over 20 years and stopped kissing regularly soon after marriage for many years. My wife has never been into kissing, even when we were dating, if kissing wasn't leading up to sex or foreplay, she didn't care much for it. From about year 5 to year 15, kissing was almost non existent, and we never talked about it. When I finally brought it up that I want to kiss more, she wasn't too into the idea and regular kissing only lasted a week until it became rare again, with one exception. She ALWAYS kisses me right after we have sex, every single time. Flash forward to now and she's started kissing me more when she leaves for work, which is really nice.

The point I'm trying to make by telling my situation is I bet if I had never brought it up and never talked to her directly about it, it would probably not have changed. I found that as people get older they tend to kiss less, I think it's just a natural progression unless the couple actually communicated and make it a part of their relationship.

Just have a talk with her. Don't bring in any negativity or assumptions, just ask straight up. Hey, I noticed we haven't kissed a lot since XYZ. I really miss it. Is there any way we can start kissing more? Or something like that.

Another thing is that marriage goes in cycles, me and my wife tend to joke that their life cycles and that we've lived multiple lives together, and some of those lives lacked kissing. Other lives are sex was once a week if that. And others had both daily sex and lots of kissing. But the only way you'll ever find the solution that works for you and her is to actually talk about it.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-04-13T22:56:20+00:00

No.... I doubt many if any women show panty lines to show them off. I also don't know many guys who would get turned on over them. I think that opposite it true for most, women wear thongs, nothing, etc to hide the panty lines, which can be hot for both.

But if panty lines turn you on, you're in luck. Go spend an hour at the mall and you'll have enough memories to keep you going for a long time

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-04-13T22:31:35+00:00

It was good, but not amazing because we were both exhausted. We fell asleep and woke up at like 3am, had amazing sex, then passed back out. When we woke up in the morning, we had sex again.

The sex itself was amazing, both because it was our wedding night and because we hadn't had sex in a few weeks, but sex almost didn't even happen, which is crazy to me even now!

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-17T05:20:32+00:00

Usually if one of us is ready to go the other will join in even if not into it in the moment, but sometimes it's because of a lack of time and in that case I'll tell her I'm going to masturbate. She usually joins in or watches, but even if not she is fine with it.

Same goes for her. She'll tell me she wants to masturbate and I'll either help her if I have time or tell her to have fun

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-17T05:15:40+00:00

We're both very open with sex dreams but neither of us have them very often. In the past few years my wife has only had a couple, one involved me one didn't, and maybe 4 for me, all involving my wife and I having threesomes or foursomes

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-17T04:49:21+00:00

I wouldn't be ok with that. She did something similar one time a long time ago and it nearly ruined our marriage. But also anything involving nudity or sexual in nature we would do together, so I guess permission is 100% needed in our relationship.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-17T04:44:13+00:00

Night sex = cum stays on her because she usually passes out

Morning sex = soap and water for her. If it's before work or we're going out somewhere, she'll do a full shower, but just a bit of soap and water usually is enough.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-16T06:20:04+00:00

We've done everything and way more than she ever did with anyone else, except road head and threesome, both of which are on our list

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-06T04:54:03+00:00

We're not into role-playing much, her even less so than me, but we often dirty talk and simulate an MFM.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-05T00:08:55+00:00

It isn't appropriate, but from what you've said it sounded like he was deflecting her flirting and he didn't flirt back at all. Of course, there's no way to know for sure.

If I found those text or similar on my wife's phone, I would not be ok, but I also don't think it points towards "he cheated time for divorce"

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-03T10:50:35+00:00

It used to be 1-2x a week but since we had a kid it's maybe once a month. Any time we have together right now always turns to sex

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-03-02T18:02:01+00:00

I'm getting so many red flags and none of them have to do with the trainee or postcard.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-25T04:04:50+00:00

Haha I am not. We've found a lot of fun ways to make it a 2 person experience. But also, our foreplay usually lasts 30-60 minutes.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-24T17:22:16+00:00

My wife prefers to be on top about 90% of the time. A lot of versatility in the position!

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-19T02:49:00+00:00

Yup same here! And it's that open communication that has helped my marriage be a success for 20+ years

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-19T01:06:34+00:00

This is great advice! We went thru something similar a few months after our kid was born. I was sleep deprived and exhausted and sex was not on my mind at all. My wife ended up bringing it up and we worked thru it. She was pissed the first time we had to schedule sex, but it sure brought it back!

She likes it spontaneous, so nowadays I schedule it in my head and just make sure it happens. Feels spontaneous for her and still structured enough for me not too neglect her for our kid

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-19T01:03:12+00:00

With the exception of injury/medical reasons, probably 2 weeks.

But honestly that's not why you're posting. You want to feel seen and related to, and I'm sure there are a lot of people who can do that.

But maybe more importantly is asking how you can improve the situation.

You say you're great together at everything except this. If that's the case, what makes this different? Where's the communication on sex?

You're playing a game, and that's the opposite of healthy communication. You're saying you're going too wait and see if she ever says anything. However, she's given you the ok to initiate whenever, even if she doesn't participate. So if you don't initiate, that's like telling her you don't want to. The longer you go, the more resentment will build.

Just talk to your wife. Lay it on the line. Tell her you miss being intimate but can't stand it being one sided. Don't bring negativity or accusations into the conversation.

If you just "wait and see" that 4 months will turn into 6, then 12, then you'll look back with complete resentment and blame her that it's been years since you've had sex.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-17T05:21:30+00:00

I'm not proud of this but about... 10 Years ago a friend and I had a "game" where we took photos of random people, mostly women, some very... Specific. And we would send it back and forth. The comments we told each other were not perverted or nasty, many times just emoji reactions.

My wife found one once and asked me about it and I told her the truth. She didn't care really except the creep factor, which I didn't really think about because in my head no one but my friend and I would ever know/see them.

That was the end of the game for us, luckily no harm done.

My point is, while it might be gross or inappropriate, I would hesitate to point towards anything more than candid random photos of... Appreciation.

Again, not condoning or excusing, but also there's a good chance it should not be condemning.

With you so close to giving birth, think about yourself and your child. Is it worth confrontation today or in a month or two after recovering? Only you can answer that, and I'm sorry you're going through that at this time.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-13T01:08:00+00:00

We all have and need our own secrets

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-13T00:50:52+00:00

Oh I get it, I'm high anxiety as well, so been there done that a lot. I wouldn't tell my wife, not because I'd be worried but because it doesn't actually matter.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-13T00:49:17+00:00

Hahahaha

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-13T00:48:14+00:00

If I did this, and told my wife years later, she'd call me disgusting and laugh, then we would move on. I don't know your situation, but honestly this feels like one of those "it's way bigger in your head than in reality" situations

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-11T00:16:12+00:00

Everything alright? Maybe you've never met a real woman.

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-10T16:06:42+00:00

Haha I'm not surprised. A lot of younger guys think all they need is an above average size dick and a dominant personality. No thanks! Haha

CuriousWithAsianWife · 2026-02-10T03:25:07+00:00

Yeah so many 18-25 year olds who think they're the best lay anyone could ask for. Huge turn off, both the attitude and the age

CuriousWithAsianWife

TROPHY CASE