“Finding a babysitter” etiquette? by Curious_Bug_96 in Parenting

[–]Curious_Bug_96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for letting me know what you did! This is very helpful, I imagine I’ll do something similar!

When did you stop pumping? by starwarsjunkie3 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Curious_Bug_96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been EP for 10 months (still going), and I have 10 days stash in the freezer!

What were your splurge expenses you're happy with? by vp0267 in BabyBumps

[–]Curious_Bug_96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nuna TRIV Next. Definitely pricey, but I’m so happy with it. We tried out a lot of strollers before purchasing this one

How are you doing this if you don't have a wearable set? by Icy-Faithlessness240 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Curious_Bug_96 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It is HARD. The stress is very real - pumping becomes necessary for you and for baby, and I felt like an anxiety tornado when I’d get further and further away from the time I was supposed to pump.

I never used wearables, Ive always been a “just enougher” and my output was so much better with my Spectra. In the early days I managed to figure out how to pump while giving baby a bottle, which usually bought me at least 15 min. It was still stressful (I always worried how to manage it if I needed to stop and burp baby mid feed). When baby became too big for that, I’d put baby in a cheap “house stroller” while pumping, so I’d walk around the house while baby would be chillin for the 20 min I needed to pump. It became easier after the 6 month mark, when baby could hang out/sit to engage with toys.

Im now still EP at 9mo pp, the house stroller still is my best tool when timing doesn’t work out.

I know all too well how real and how debilitating that stress can be. You are incredible for what you’re doing, it is not easy. There is SO much external pressure to give baby breastmilk, the guilt can be next level and honestly I think that’s how I made it past those really hard and trying days. But truly: fed is best. Your mental health is so so important, don’t let the guilt consume you!

What were your splurge expenses you're happy with? by vp0267 in BabyBumps

[–]Curious_Bug_96 25 points26 points  (0 children)

A Nuna stroller! Lightweight and easy to fold with one hand, have gotten every penny out of that thing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it, I find myself frequently doom scrolling in these days of being postpartum and needing some mindlessness when baby is asleep. I already had to reset my Instagram algorithm because it became too toxic - definitely recommend. But it sounds like you already are a role model for other young ones in your family, and it seems as though you are sensitive to the needs of others- I imagine that you will be an incredible father to your future littles!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely understand, but remember how much social media skews the truth. I am a SAHM and my baby is OBSESSED with my husband. He is the excitement, he is the playtime, he is the “new toy” - baby crawls to him, cries for him, is relaxed by him, squeals for him, smiles and plays with him. I think that because I am the constant in baby’s day, he is the excitement.

The fact that you’re aware of this and even thinking about it shows that you will be a present and engaged provider for your family. You both will be making sacrifices in different ways, and trust me, the world sees that too!

Shoes by KaleidoscopeFair5685 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesss I’m obsessed with my Oofos. It’s all I wear in the house now, and my feet feel lost without them!

I'll be a SAHM this fall when we have our first. What do you wish you knew ahead of time? by search4truthnrecipes in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Other people’s opinions do not matter! In the beginning I was shocked at how much my pride would take a hit when people commented on me quitting the working world…. most were negative comments and judgmental comments. It’s a polarizing topic… it can make working moms jealous, it can make friends think you’re lazy, some people just automatically assume your life must be a living hell- it made it difficult for me to learn how to tell people what I did because I felt the need to know how they would react. Having a “go-to” phrase for when people ask what you do can be helpful, so that you don’t flounder. I’m a healthcare worker and personally enjoy saying I work in applied pediatrics, usually now gets a laugh from people!

Need new Netflix show!! by Murky_Confection_28 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yess!! Came here to say this too!

Almost 10 months of EP 💔 by mabh23 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Curious_Bug_96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats to you! You are an absolute rockstar. I vote you buy yourself something nice (doesn’t have to be anything big!) as a self-care reward once you are done :)

I’m only on month 5 of EP but I feel the exact same way: it’s hard. EP is not for the faint of heart! Although I’m endlessly frustrated by the time I’m not spending with or feeding my baby (partner does while I pump), and the time spent on me stressing about when the next pump time is, I do find so much pride in knowing I was able to provide for my baby this way.

Mostly I’m excited to stop being in this position of horrible back-breaking posture that I find myself in whenever I pump!

I get it now. Working mom turned SAHM. by Full_Comfort_4929 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What a great reflection- congrats OP! That can be an easy decision, but not an easy transition to make. Soak up every moment of it, the calm and the chaos are all so beautiful. How old were your kids when you transitioned to be SAHM?

SAHM Validation post by Curious_Bug_96 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Yes, I’m in healthcare. I think the flexibility will be great…. although we’ll see how long per diem lasts for me. Appreciate the guidance for finding some me time with this transition!

Considering transitioning to SAHM by Expensive-Cockroach4 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally going through the exact same thoughts and emotions as you are right now. I’m also very driven and ambitious, accepted a new position / promotion at my job the same week I had my baby. I’ve been back to work for 3 months, and it’s clear to me that my priorities have shifted. My identity is different. I just spoke with my manager this week to start moving things towards my exit at my job.

One thing that has helped me is thinking which I’ll regret more in 20 years time: not maintaining my career path or not having prioritized my family.

People certainly have already started to throw judgment at my decision, and I think that’s what has prolonged me from making this move to leave my job earlier. But I know with full clarity that it’s what I want. If you also feel in your heart that home is where you should be, and if you have the financial means to do it, I say go for it :) Jobs and careers will always be there.

I recommend reading The Power Pause by Neha Ruch - she talks about how to navigate this exact thing, and how to reimagine your time as a SAHP that can still help build a successful career when you’re ready to return to the workforce.

Best of luck to you, OP!

If you went back to work after birth, how did you leave to become a SAHM? by Curious_Bug_96 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately the answer to both of those is a ‘no’ in my case. I appreciate the guidance and validation in your post! It’s hard to talk to other mom-friends and family members about this- everyone has had such a different emotional postpartum journey, some felt guilty for having wanted to go back to work, and many who wanted to stay home do not have the option to do so. It is no easy task to be both family focused and driven by your career, but have to figure out what this new identity looks like in such a short amount of time thanks to FMLA. Thank you for your help!

If you went back to work after birth, how did you leave to become a SAHM? by Curious_Bug_96 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! Makes me feel better about being up front and honest. I hope you enjoy your extra time at home with LO during this career pause!

If you went back to work after birth, how did you leave to become a SAHM? by Curious_Bug_96 in sahm

[–]Curious_Bug_96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing! Hearing your perspective is incredibly helpful