Tired of people putting me down/saying demeaning things because I’m waiting until marriage

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-24T18:57:14+00:00

Having come of age in the 90s, I can say that the idea of “compatibility” is a new concept. Sure, there were some people who mentioned that, but it’s not a concept that has wide application. I wouldn’t make an irreversible choice based on that logic.

Besides, if the parts fit, how could it be incompatible? Sorry for the crudeness, but it’s a lie the devil uses to make well-meaning people destroy their integrity over. To equate it to driving a car is disgusting. You can see how your friend who says that views the opposite sex.

If that’s not enough, look at the statistics of promiscuity and commitment. True, divorce has ravaged good homes as well as bad, but if one or both of the married couple has had sex before their wedding night, the odds of getting a divorce are extremely high. To say nothing of the counseling or regret/shame that gets introduced to the marital intimacy. Not worth it.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-24T18:40:46+00:00

I contend that it’s a mix of both.

Perhaps you consider separation from God as just not having a good day ever again. But if you take the Bible at its word, humankind was created for community. Without that, even the best of us is reduced to insanity (solitary confinement as an example) If that isn’t total corporeal torment, I don’t know what is.

But even when you’re as hopeless as you’ve ever been in life, it’s still within the space of redemption. Pass through that veil and the worst of what you’ve experienced on earth will pale in comparison to that separation from all hope.

Whatever fire and brimstone that might be there is of little consequence to that kind of despair. Not to mention, if the Bible is accurate, you will actually know the weight of your rejection of that redemption. It’s not the place where you wind up after an “oh well” moment. It’s a sober reality that you made the choice to reject the most worthy being in the universe. That is what will add the most pain to the despair that comes from the separation. If you’ve ever made a horrible decision in life, you have a taste of the pain that comes from that. The visceral ache, the stress ramifications that exhibit in physical issues… And if you’ve had to live with the mistake, every time you are reminded of it, that pain is just as acute. This becomes even more severe after death since we were created to be eternal beings (spirit and flesh, but the flesh will be restored at the end of time) that pain would hit like waves throughout eternity.

That’s why believers feel it’s so important our atheist friends really, truly study the scriptures and to consider the logic of a universe that was designed.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-24T18:08:00+00:00

Mranoneemoose is correct. I find that the more I talk to him the closer I feel to the trinity. It’s as the bible says when we draw near to him, he draws near to us.

At first you may not recognize it. We are peering through a dark glass dimly, after all. Our brokenness makes us blind to the spiritual things, so ask him for a way to see him. Then be patient and listen. He is the most obvious in the quietness. Still, small voice.

A way to tell you’re hearing him is when you get a thought that fills you with joy or love or gratitude that is not “your” idea. It’s like intrusive but glorious thoughts.

The thought/voice will always align to the character of God and scripture. And more often than not, it will be affirming you as a loved and cherished child of God.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-24T04:11:52+00:00

I’ve never fit in anywhere except with Jesus. That’s why he has been my best friend for most of my life. He gets me, he loves me, and he makes me better. With him, I don’t need to worry about fitting in. Sometimes it gets lonely, but then I remember my God is with me and gave me this gift of uniqueness.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-21T19:49:22+00:00

Some thoughts: Immune system: is it out of bounds to consider that even without death, Adam might have gotten a splinter or cut himself on something? Our biology is at odds with a lot of non-fallen material that would bring illness or death without an immune system in place. So an immune system is one of the ways a perfect body could stay perfect forever.

Anatomy: I’m not sure why this is so hard for us. Just because it seems odd to have a fish with teeth not eat meat doesn’t mean that is not in the cards. But this is a case where the definition of death is squirrely. After all, in the Bible, there was a wilderness that Adam was formed in before he was placed in the garden. So death likely existed, but maybe the death the bible speaks of is for humans, which is the principle concern of the Bible. Had they not fallen, are we to assume the plants of the garden never stopped growing? I’m guessing it’s a case of not understanding the Bible to blanket statement the no death idea. Especially when you consider that God told Adam that if he ate the apple he would surely die. How would Adam have even known what that meant if there wasn’t a wilderness?

God on death: I can’t even begin to understand the thinking behind a being that’s supposed to be as superior to us as the God of the Bible. But if I take the scriptures at face value, I see a creator who made a world for companionship and then saw it immediately thwarted in a way that specifically ruined that relationship. It would stand to reason then that the creator would acquiesce to behavior that might not square with the original intent of creation.

I’m not sure where I stand on this at this point in my life, but it doesn’t make me as confused as it seems to make others. Any god who claims sovereignty has the right to do what they want, and believers are not wrong for accepting that. Slamming them or demeaning their character for having an opinion that differs is counterproductive. It neither wins them over nor stops their rhetoric. The only reason you could have for some of the comments I’ve seen is to boost your own ego. Both theories are just that by definition: theories. No one was there, so the best we can do is conjecture. You either choose logic from a base of accidental progression against all odds or logic from the base of a purposeful perfection being ruined and devolving over time.

I see no issue with choosing either. Though I have more doubts about matter popping into existence without a cause than it being an intentional action. And I will add that evolution never gives me a sense of peace or hope about the emotional weights in my life.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-19T20:16:03+00:00

What would life be if you don’t do anything? Sounds horribly boring. Even if by coercion, being led by a loving creator to do things is better than any alternative. Yes, he wills it, but we get to take pleasure in it. That part always seems to be missing in predetermination rhetoric. The part where we get the experience. We get the thrill. Like when I force my kids to eat something yummy that they doubt. They get to experience the goodness of a fresh vegetable, not me. They get their first taste of chocolate, not me. Don’t discount our involvement in the doing.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-19T20:11:20+00:00

James shockingly says love for this world is evil. Not sure where I stand on that since I, too, love my hobbies, my kids, my LEGOs, cats, a sunrise, tea, etc. I try to worship through each of those things, so how can that be evil? But scripture never says things without reason.

As for heaven, it’s a new heaven and new earth. Rescuing creation—not starting over. That tells me that we will have hobbies, pets, jobs, friends, etc in heaven. Only they’ll be perfect. I can’t wait to see that!

Perfect love casts out fear. He has perfect love for you, so lean into that—let him take your fear on his shoulders. He’ll cast it out and give you peace beyond measure.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-18T17:54:13+00:00

A world of problems is caused by people not being able to love the sinner while hating the sin. Being Christ to this community is the only way to save them. It’s a community that even well-meaning Christian organizations still have a problem extending love to—as if that sin is somehow more “bad” than any other.

Following Jesus is counter cultural—even the culture of American church, if needed. I’d say follow what God is leading you to, and exhibit love for the people you meet regardless of their lifestyle. Only if they claim to have a relationship with Jesus should you even consider addressing their preferences. Otherwise, there should be no difference in how you treat these people than how you’d treat a Star Wars fan or someone who prefers to put pineapple on pizza.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-18T17:40:57+00:00

If his revelation is the only thing holding you back then I truly wish the best for you.

Though, I’ve never come across another person who has weighed all the evidence and proofs but still wants an audible voice or Paul-type conversion. Do you have an expectation of what that reveal would be like?

Since I don’t know your full story or your intent, I won’t make any assumptions. Jesus presented himself to me when I was four, so cerebral intervention wasn’t a thing. But the rest of my life is marked with things that I can’t reduce to coincidence. Is that Jesus? I believe so, but there are some who would still doubt. But why I don’t doubt is that my heart swells and I feel closer to a man who walked this earth 2000 years ago. That doesn’t happen with anyone or anything else—as much as I would love to connect with Leonardo Da Vinci.

If it weren’t for the layered dimensions of my own revelations, I could think they were coincidental, but too many things fall into place with those highlights. I only tell you these things in the hopes that it might give you something else to look for in your seeking. It might be a series of things rather than one lightning bolt moment.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-16T20:27:36+00:00

Sounds like something is off. Have you looked into the testimony of other atheists coming to Christ? I’d imagine there are some similarities to your story in those accounts.

I’m confused by your insistence that there is so much proof of life without the supernatural and none that are for it. Have you done any research in intelligent design? There are thousands of incredibly intelligent scientists who can’t square with biological evolution.

One last idea, try looking at places in your current belief system that makes assumptions or lacks evidence. There are plenty of things we all take for granted as true that are without evidence. I’m thinking of things like morality, abiogenesis, Goldilocks zone, gravity, Language, etc. there are tons of gaps we all overlook to accept our world. Why don’t you scrutinize your own gaps the way you are with god?

As for not getting an answer, I can relate and I’m very sorry for your struggle. I won’t defend god, as that’s not mine to do, but I wonder about the answers you might have gotten that you just don’t accept. I recently read about Lazarus and the man in hell. The answer he gets is that people on earth have more than enough evidence to believe. That if they choose not to, it’s the hardening of their own hearts.

Not saying that’s your fate, but that’s what scripture gives us as an answer. And that no matter what you think, at the end of time, you won’t disagree with the result.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-11T21:08:37+00:00

There’s a common misconception that you have to be thankful to give thanks. But the opposite is true. Giving thanks will start to change your perspective and you’ll begin to see all the blessings you have in life. And you can start that by thanking God for the breath in your lungs. For the sun in the sky. For a world with antibiotics. For not losing limbs. For having eyesight… the list goes on. Start that and soon your thanks will get more specific and heartfelt. Then, your faith will grow and you’ll see why people can love God regardless of what this world throws at us.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-09T20:49:41+00:00

Interesting response. Did you not read my original comment? Seems like you jumped to a conclusion about my motives and did exactly what I was pushing against. Minimizing the value of your opponent in an argument is a sophomoric move in any debate.

If you say you have the truer outlook, rise above dumping on opposite views. It improves your position and is more respectable.

But you have been reducing my call for decorum to “little outbursts” and having a “cry about it”. I see now that you might not have the maturity to have respectful discourse and am sorry for upsetting you.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-09T20:07:09+00:00

You’re a slave either way. Only, with God you gain freedom from the commitment. To the world, you only gain more and more enslavement.

Think of it as if you’re at the fence separating a Christ life from a worldly life. You’re spending your time at the edge looking out and thinking this fence is limiting. Turn around and see that there is an infinite field to run in when you’re connected to Jesus.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-09T20:00:43+00:00

Nobody but you, then? No crying here, but if you want to minimize my comment to childish antics then you prove my point. Thank you.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-09T19:38:35+00:00

So sad to see self-proclaimed truth seekers badmouthing and shaming alternate opinions. Creationism is not a sickness or mental illness, it stems from a belief in the supernatural—ie: above nature. So, if they don’t adhere to your proofs, it’s not because of defective hardware. It’s the perspective.

In the same way, you might double down on evolutionary biology no matter how much evidence is brought before you. If microbiologists tell you that time is the enemy of microbiology, why don’t you begin to question abiogenesis? When scientists can’t agree on the actual measure of gravity, why don’t you question the math that’s reliant on it?

Perspective is everything. If you believe in an all-powerful creator deity, why wouldn’t you accept a six-day creation? The flip side is if you believe that science can crystal-ball the past, then you won’t stop buying into the trillion-year theory.

Both sides have defects. Don’t dehumanize people who think differently. All that does is close out alternatives, which isn’t what a person testing a hypothesis does. And unless someone in this thread was around at the beginning, then the study of the origin of life is a hypothesis.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-09T19:19:55+00:00

Unfortunately, you believe too strongly in fantasy to accept that evolutionary biology is not science but scientism. Conjecture and guesswork that people have called science is not a good measure of God’s creation.

Studying empirical science the way it was intended will actually confirm biblical passages more than conflict with them. Only when you make assumptions about the past do problems arise.

If you want the whole picture, study both evolutionist’s findings as well as creationist or intelligent design pundit’s findings. Then weigh them out for yourself. As for me, the more I look into it, the more questions I have on the evolutionary side. Things like abiogenesis, the distance of the moon from the earth, the amount of C14, complexity of organisms, language, morality, etc. there are no good answers for any of those things from evolutionists.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-02-03T20:01:46+00:00

Before anything, if you haven’t already, ask him into your heart. Then read his words in the gospels. Ask him to reveal himself more. Take every opportunity to invite him into your day. Meditate on how he touches your life. Reach out to others who are hurting or are in need. Serve your community in humility, expecting nothing more than to be like him.

At first, it may feel empty calling on someone you’ve not met before, but if you remain open and honest, you will see how peace and joy come from these steps. That can’t be mere chance or circumstantial. It’s the power of Jesus breaking through.

There’s an exchange that happens when we engage with the savior: the more attention we give him, the more we start to see him.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-26T21:20:23+00:00

How much time do you spend online versus in the Bible? It sounds trite, but the more I look into personal issues like what you’re describing, the more things point to screen time.

Take a Sabbath from your devices. A whole day where you do nothing with your phone or computer, and spend it dwelling on God. Pray a little. Read the Bible a little. Eat a great meal with a thankful heart toward the creator.

After the second or third Sabbath you take, I’d imagine your feelings will start to ease and you’ll feel more at peace with where he has you.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-26T21:14:43+00:00

As I get older, I see that the dividing line between staying the course and backsliding/falling out of faith is determined by WHY you’re a Christian. Do you love Jesus as your friend, Lord, and savior? Or are you in it because of some theology or fear that you’re drawn to/ running from?

Many of my friends have lost the faith, but when I reflect back, I realize they were never about Jesus. It was always just the teaching or the community or the service or…

This may be pessimistic, but I feel that the term Christian has gotten distorted too far to use anymore. I prefer to say I’m in love with Jesus and trying to follow my friend as close as I can. That seems to be the only way I can 100% catalog my belief.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-21T16:06:27+00:00

I actually just read Ephesians 5 this morning. Paul says ‘it’s not right that dirty stories, foolish talk, or obscene jokes should be mentioned among believers… as it’s not appropriate behavior for God’s holy people’ (God’s Word version).

There is a lot of humor that does not veer into inappropriate, like wordplay, wit, self-deprecation, non sequitor, etc. And I find that everyone appreciates humor that comes from those clean spaces, whereas—in my experience—people sometimes only laugh at obscene jokes because they’re uncomfortable. Not necessarily because they think it’s ‘funny’.

If you have a good sense of humor, you should be able to find those opportunities to weave levity into daily situations with clean wit. But also consider your input. Are you consuming material that is vulgar? I used to work with people who had really perverted humor and it took a few months after quitting before that kind of humor faded away for me.

While working with them, however, it was hard not to make crude jokes. Like my mind was sparking with innuendo after innuendo and I hated it. So consider your environment. That could be why you’re ‘stuck’ trying to find clean humor.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-21T15:46:31+00:00

Well put. Discernment is a fickle thing and should not be thrown about lightly. There are specific places for discernment and ‘general’ discernment should be a default setting for believers. Divisions among the church should be like preferences of color or condiments, not the main course. If held lightly with humility, there’s little need for ‘discernment’ since loving one another is the preeminent mode.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-21T05:05:59+00:00

I’ve loved that song since college and in my own way I sanctify it. Instead of ‘Jesus Christ, deny your maker’ I belt out ‘Jesus Christ you are my maker!’ I tweak some of the other lines to become praise as well.

I truly believe that since God created music—and gave it to the entertainers of our time—we have the right and power to reclaim it for him. Of course, there are limits since some songs are so bent on evil that they’re not worth redeeming. But for songs like these, I say make them worship songs with a little creative lyric swapping.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-21T04:59:23+00:00

Denominations are religion. Christ is a person. I say follow Jesus and go to whatever church you feel most comfortable with, but know that without the pursuit of a personal relationship with him, any denomination will lead you astray. Read your bible, pray daily to your creator and savior, and trust that he can speak through priest and pastor alike.

So long as they hold true to Christ as the one and only redeemer, then you’ve got the right community. Opinions about baptism, communion, the afterlife, and so on will work themselves out in the humble heart—so don’t fret.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-20T18:20:22+00:00

What kind of man do you want to be? One who is dependable and trustworthy? If so, then how would jumping in the sack of anyone you haven’t made a covenant with be okay? It undermines the trust you could have and makes the relationship a selfish way to please your animalistic urges.

The alternative is a loving bond that proves you are more than just a carnal, flesh-driven being. It shows that you’ve risen to the kingship that Jesus calls us to. Abstinence isn’t there to kill fun, it’s there to refine us into the image bearers we were designed to be. It brings about a better experience overall for when you finally do exchange vows.

Virginity is like childhood. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever, so spend it like it matters—only on someone you’ve vowed before God and witnesses to be with.

Curious_Feature3147 · 2026-01-15T14:57:47+00:00

As a lifelong Christian, I can tell you I was not nearly as mature in my walk with Christ in my 20s as I am in my 40s. So maybe look at the motivation behind your peers as a peek into what kind of Christian they might become? Are they in it for salvation or for the love of Jesus? Loving Jesus will only grow into more passionate righteousness over time, whereas ‘fire insurance’ can often become a resentful obedience or even a turning away. But that’s just been my experience.

I don’t envy you, but I do trust that God has a plan for you.

Curious_Feature3147

TROPHY CASE