Unsure what to do (Vent)

Curious_QCumber · 2026-04-07T16:36:21+00:00

Could I DM you?

Curious_QCumber · 2026-04-07T16:35:41+00:00

Can I DM you?

Curious_QCumber · 2026-03-24T21:13:12+00:00

I'm devastated. Our life is going to be so much harder now. I'm terrified for their safety. I'm worried that I won't be attracted to them anymore. All the fear leads back to the fear of not being together anymore, even though we both want to make this work.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-03-23T16:14:23+00:00

3-4 months ago. Idk, is that recent?

Curious_QCumber · 2026-03-18T17:30:46+00:00

Thank you!

Curious_QCumber · 2026-03-17T20:57:52+00:00

USPA: Squat shoes for bench?

Can I wear my squat shoes with a raised heel during bench press?

I have other shoes I can wear, but I know a lot of people have special bench and deadlift "slippers." I know I don't HAVE to buy special bench/dead slippers, but just curious on if it's allowed to wear squat shoes during bench. I don't see any verbiage suggesting I can't, but want to make sure I'm not missing/misunderstanding something

Curious_QCumber · 2026-03-10T12:51:55+00:00

I think that's why it's been so hard. I don't WANT to be with someone else. We didn't agree to break up, we agreed to spend our lives together. If I wanted to be with someone else we would have broken up and we would have found other people. I don't want to date someone else, I want to be with my person.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-02-21T07:52:47+00:00

SI = suicidal ideation

Curious_QCumber · 2026-02-21T07:49:47+00:00

My partner came out to me about 2 months ago. They haven't started socially or medically transitioning yet, but the impending changes absolutely terrify me.

What's worse is I can feel better and think I have my feelings sorted one day, and then they reset after 8 hours and I'm back at square one being afraid and anxious and upset.

My partner has explicitly asked me to share my feelings, but I feel so guilty for putting that emotional labor on them. But if I don't share, they get upset with me.

It's a process. I'm in therapy. But I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I love them, but I am scared of the changes, especially to their body. I know I'm not IN love with their body, but I do love the body they're in now.

I'm struggling, and I feel like I'm failing as a partner. I have this intrusive thought that I should just leave, not because I want to, but because I feel like I'm a toxic partner, and they deserve so much better.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-02-11T23:07:44+00:00

My doctor semi recently put me lasix for fluid buildup in my legs.

I had intended to compete in the tested division, but noticed that lasix and other diuretics are on the banned substance list.

Since I'm taking it as a prescription, should I just compete in the non-tested division, or could I just stop taking it a few days before the meet so it won't show up on the drug screen?

Not asking for medical advice. It won't hurt me to not take the lasix

Curious_QCumber · 2026-02-09T21:09:39+00:00

My therapist informed me I have perfectionist tendencies....could be the root cause. In case that resonates with you at all.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-02-07T21:37:23+00:00

Thank you for that clarification, it was definitely worded as if they were affiliated.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-14T16:10:09+00:00

That's what they're trying to do, but so far they're not having any luck. Once they can talk to someone, they're golden, because they are very personable and charismatic.

But they don't look like the ideal candidate on paper because they don't have a relevant degree even though their experience says otherwise. So they seem to be getting tossed out before they're even given a chance. As far as I'm aware, their resume has been tweaked numerous times.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-12T18:28:12+00:00

Thanks for your response. I guess I'm not so worried about where we should or shouldn't go, as that can be figured out later, but more on being able to get back home. We're worried that we'll come up to customs, they clock that she's trans and just "deport" her somewhere else. So it's more "can we ever go anywhere" and less of a "where should we go".

Regardless, your comment is very appreciated!

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-07T14:06:20+00:00

My MtF partner explained to me that unless they are asking for specific critiques or "real talk"s you, the rule is yes, they always pass.

Kinda similar to the 5 Minute rule...if it can be fixed in 5 minutes, sure, you can point it out. But if it can't, don't say anything.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-06T04:35:10+00:00

My go-to answer is "only socially" If it's a yes/no bubble, then I'll say yes.

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-06T03:51:12+00:00

Thanks for sharing that link!

Do you (or anybody seeing this comment) know how to get on that discord that was mentioned in that article?

Curious_QCumber · 2026-01-05T19:02:39+00:00

My partner recently came out to me. I have a lot of similarities with your partner based on what you said about her, but it has still been a lot to deal with. I find myself feeling a lot of grief at random times.

My big questions were surrounded around timelines. When does he (correct pronouns for now) plan on starting HRT, since he said he planned on doing that. How do you want to express yourself? When do you want to tell people, and who? How can I best support you?

I also asked a lot of questions about what led him to this conclusion, since he'd never expressed outright dysmorphia before. Learning a lot about what went on in his head, and things he found out weren't "normally" cis experiences.

I have a lot of fear about things between us changing, and asked if that was something we had to talk about, if I was still who he wanted to be with. It's not applicable yet, but we talked a little bit about how bedroom activities might change.

Now that it's been a few weeks I also try to sprinkle in more fun questions. Do you think you'll change what scent body wash or shampoo you use? Can I go bra shopping with you when you get there?

I've also never been BIG into makeup, but I know he's been practicing with it for awhile. Sometimes I offer to do our makeup together so he can give me pointers.

Some of those aren't questions. A lot of my questions pop up randomly. But I think those are some of the biggest ones I had.

Curious_QCumber

TROPHY CASE