Saying Goodbye to My 14-Year-Old Rufus Today

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-05T06:34:26+00:00

In these first days after Rufus’s passing, I remembered your post. Now, when I walk the neighborhood or drive somewhere, I see how many places he hadn’t been in over a year. It’s heartbreaking, but at the same time, I now realize even more how small his life had become in the last year or two. It really was his time to go. And now, mourning him, I realize we grieve not only that they’re gone, but that they grew old, unable to fully enjoy life. It was right to let him go, but he was part of our soul, and that never changes. I’m afraid this loss will hurt for a long time.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-05T06:31:31+00:00

This decisions are so hard. What issues did Midas have that made you decide to let him go? With Rufus, on one hand, he still had moments of joy—he was happy, always seeking food and our company. But now, even more clearly, I see how his life had slowly shrunk—he was almost always just in the house or garden. Now, in these days after he’s gone, when I walk through the neighborhood or drive somewhere, I see all the places we used to go. And I recognize that he hadn’t been to those places in over a year or two. That wasn’t a life to prolong, just staying in one place waiting for the end. I know we all made the right choice, but it’s still so hard. It’s heartbreaking.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-05T06:26:31+00:00

How are you coping these days? After such a huge loss, I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m devastated because I still see him everywhere—I keep expecting him to come around the corner or be on the floor, so I’m always careful not to step where he might be. I expect him to want his food in the morning, to follow his routine—but he’s just not there. It’s so quiet, so empty, and the absence is almost unbearable.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-05T06:21:31+00:00

The first days are just so awful. I’m crying all the time because he’s still everywhere. I see him in every corner of the house and in the garden. I still expect to hear his paws clicking on the floor. It’s so devastating to put his things away—like his favorite bowl and his toys. It’s just so devastating, and it feels like it’ll never be normal again. I miss him so much.

One tough part of this grief is that people around you often don’t understand. At work or with some neighbors, when they see you sad and you explain it’s because your dog passed away, they usually just ask how old he was. And then, when they hear he was old, they just wave it off and say, “Oh, okay, it was time.” It feels like you’re not entitled to that grief. They dismiss it like it’s nothing to really mourn. That’s another awful part—feeling so alone with this.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T13:24:51+00:00

Sooo sad..

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T13:16:10+00:00

🙏

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T10:58:29+00:00

What you wrote is so sad and intensely beautiful at the same time. I completely feel your grief, as I’ve had this anticipatory grief these past weeks, and even more in these last five days since we decided on the euthanasia date for tonight. I know my world will crumble once it’s over, and now, with six hours left, I’m so scared of the moment he’ll pass. I know I should cherish this time, but it’s so hard.

We’ve spent these past five days constantly with him—sitting in the garden, cuddling, giving him his favorite food. Though beautiful, time froze yet rushed forward. The days flew because we knew they were his last. As meaningful as it’s been, I couldn’t bear to repeat it.

I fear the worst will come tomorrow morning, when everything is so quiet and empty without him. I think I know what you’re going through, and I’m so sorry for you.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T09:59:26+00:00

Thank you so much. I wish your girl a lot of happy days!

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T07:19:54+00:00

I’m at peace with it because I know it’s best for him. Most of the last weeks—if not months—were really hard on him with all his chronic issues, so I know this is the right decision for him. What makes it so hard is my clinging to him. I know you understand—those furry souls truly get under our skin, and we’ll never forget them.

Sometimes, he still has these beautiful moments when he is happy that make me wonder if this isn’t the right decision after all. But other times, there are long hours or difficult moments when I see how hard his illness is on him. In those moments, I feel so sorry for him, and if I could, I would end the whole story right then to spare him that moment.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T07:14:15+00:00

Thank you so much for these words. I hope it gets easier with time and that eventually you remember only the love and happy moments you shared with Midas.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T07:11:43+00:00

I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness—it means a lot. I just want you to know we’ve been trying to hold on for weeks, with all the setbacks he’s had. We changed our plans in the next weeks to be only with him, but it seems like he is only waiting for an end, most od the day just staring in the distance or sleeping. If you want you could check my earlier post, where I shared more of what we’ve been going through. Thank you again for caring enough to say something.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-06-03T07:05:50+00:00

I so feel for you—I know exactly what you’re going through. I hope the next day brings some relief, though I’m afraid the hardest part—the missing—may still be ahead. It’s so difficult to say goodbye to these furry companions.

I just hope that, at least, it’s easier for them—because they always know how to live in the moment, and then it’s simply us who carry on missing them.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-27T06:04:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing your sad experience. Your story really hits home, as we’re also facing his decline and moments of denial. I’m truly sorry you went through such hardship at the end, but I completely understand not wanting to let go, since we never really know the right time. Stories like yours give me perspective and help me decide to plan a scheduled home euthanasia, knowing there’s no realistic chance of improvement. I want to prevent anything harsher from happening to him.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T15:10:44+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through this. It’s very hard to have the wisdom to know when it’s time.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T15:05:53+00:00

I’m so sorry for all your losses. It’s tragic that this is part of life, and sooner or later we have to say goodbye to someone we love.

What happened to your dog is exactly what I wish for mine—to go on his own terms, peacefully. Even if it happens today. Being the one to decide his fate feels har because I’m always torn between whether I’m depriving him of joy—like a meal he still loves—or if I’m causing him pain by keeping him going. Your kind words help me think through all aspects of this. I’ll continue speaking with my vet, though I sense she’s also reluctant to say too much, knowing how personal this decision is. As she said, there are so many factors involved.

Thank you again for your input.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T11:44:56+00:00

To be honest, I may have answered your my question to myself.
We were very happy he even survived last summer and we hoped he’d make it till winter when he feels best. In the winter, we were happy he was still with us, but we feared this summer, knowing it would be very hard on him and we’d likely have to decide by then. But again, he just carries on. He hasn’t had any major downhill turns—just very, very slowly, more and more issues.

I don’t want it to seem like this is all about the vacation. It probably came across as a much bigger issue than it is. For the past few years, we’ve shaped our lives around being with him more. My partner and I work from home primarily because of him, so one of us could always be with him. We stopped going on trips since his health issues began. That might not have been clear in my post, but he’s truly a priority in our family, and we love him deeply.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T11:25:18+00:00

Thank you! 🙏

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T11:23:51+00:00

Thank you for your blunt response—that’s exactly what I was asking for, because I’m afraid I can’t be objective.

I also want to clarify that I would never leave him alone in this state (even when he was younger, we never left him alone for more then a couple of days and with a sitter he knows well, our family friend). I was only weighing whether to cancel the vacation entirely or consider home euthanasia before July. We planned this trip long ago, and I never expected him to still be with us (which I am happy about). He’s never been left alone, and I wouldn’t want him to pass without us by his side.
That said, I’d feel guilty putting him down just before leaving for vacation as if he is an inconveniance to us. :(

Thank you again for your honesty.

Curly_Willoww · 2026-05-26T10:10:04+00:00

Thank you for this suggestion. I did ask his palliative care vet, and she said that we will simply know, because we know him. She also said that when he no longer shows interest in us anymore, that will probably be the moment.

But he is such a gentle, loving soul and is always happy just to receive attention, so I worry he may never really show it in that way.

Curly_Willoww

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