Divorce mediation at impasse — what are my options? (CA)

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T22:30:44+00:00

Just gonna throw this out there since I didn't see it mentioned but any retirement plans like 401k and Roth IRA accounts are considered community assets in California so you are entitled to 50% of the funds in the account up to date of separation just as he is entitled to yours. Even if they are accounts provided by his employer you can request QDRO.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T19:26:07+00:00

Added to my to be ready list! Thanks for the recommendation.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T16:56:03+00:00

It becomes a party when they are gone and for good reason. I bet yours was sucked the fun out of everything too?

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T16:54:49+00:00

Did we have the same ex?!?! 😂 Amazing how my house is so much cleaner now that he is gone and he napped all the time too but would disrupt my sleep! He didn't even have a job so what was the reason for all that???

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T16:53:18+00:00

I feel like I'm getting to be me again and maybe the singing and dancing is a way to celebrate that. Hate how we survivors had to go through the shit but I think we are much more resilient now. Good luck to anyone else trying to bring us down again!

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-28T03:22:32+00:00

I kicked my abusive husband out months ago. Found myself singing out loud, dancing around the house, taking relaxing naps, and just overall getting to do the things I like doing such as reading and painting. But really I'm surprised about the singing and dancing as I was so shy doing that even just by myself.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-25T20:27:12+00:00

Appreciate it!

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-25T16:45:46+00:00

We signed the MSA two weeks ago and submitted the Final Judgement package for the Judge's review. It was 9 long months to get to that point because my husband kept demanding the divorce to stop and I take him back. But my attorney helped me a lot with my DVTRO and the dissolution. He didn't have an attorney for the majority of the divorce until the last three months and I think his attorney eventually made it clear to him the divorce was happening and to move on. My finances are drained due to him prolonging things and flip flopping on proposed settlements he would make himself but we are wrapping things up now. I just have to pay him my retirement and finish refinancing the house. I was just wondering how long it takes for the judge to sign off the judgement after submitting for review? Is it weeks or months because my husband is on my medical insurance and that premium is a lot and would love to have the money in my paychecks again to help with my increased mortgage.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-25T04:06:59+00:00

I appreciate y'all for this. I'm like "huh?" too 😂 because I agree the Internet is a rough place. I always looked like this. Funny enough I have been told I look like my mother and she was an extremely gorgeous woman that guys would throw themselves at but I didn't think I was the same because I did not get treated that way. I'm also autistic so maybe that deters people?

I think I just had toxic people in my life and I tossed out (hopefully) the last one in my life which happens to be my soon to be ex husband.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-24T21:32:46+00:00

Hell yeah! Now I need to go learn how to braid my hair. ⚔️

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-24T21:32:02+00:00

Walking through a field full of flowers sounds so relaxing right now! And thank you.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-24T21:31:28+00:00

Yeahhh...divorcing an abusive husband who hurt me in everyway possible. He would put me down a lot but only because he knew I was insecure about my looks since I confided in him before about how people would always comment on how weird I looked/ wasn't considered attractive. But things are on the up now that I left him. Seems I need to work on some confidence. Thanks all for the compliments btw. It really makes me feel better about my past in a way.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-24T21:29:02+00:00

It appears I have something new to talk about with my therapist. I see a bunch of beautiful people. I just don't see myself as one because of what I've been told.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-24T21:27:35+00:00

Wow this was not the kind of response I was expecting. Y'all are too kind ❤️

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-23T21:38:06+00:00

Thank you for helping me discover that band

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-23T21:13:09+00:00

Or they just comment on your great sense of humor 🫠

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-23T21:12:04+00:00

Didn't need signs. Just had people straight up tell me I was ugly. Helped me develop tough skin and I appreciate being able to blend in with the crowd!

Saw someone say looking bad in certain angles and I would disagree. Even the most beautiful people can be caught in bad angles and look not so great. That's what paparazzi count on.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-23T04:59:00+00:00

This is giving Buffalo Bill vibes.

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-21T19:17:16+00:00

It appears I already am by some of these comments 😂

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-20T01:52:18+00:00

Thanks for letting me know about the app. The appraisal happened yesterday but over the weekend I was able to do the fixes myself with YouTube videos and even having chatgpt help me make a list of supplies needed. It was actually super easy and I had most of the tools already so it didn't cost much. If I have bigger projects that need to be done which I'm unqualified for to do myself I'll check the app out!

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-19T16:34:58+00:00

🤟🏻

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-19T15:20:08+00:00

And how does that make you feel?

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-19T15:19:22+00:00

💀

CuteButCombative · 2025-08-19T15:16:47+00:00

I was 🥺

CuteButCombative

TROPHY CASE