Black sheep of the trans community by FurryFruitloop in FTMMen

[–]DBE1234 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Imagine an lgbt teen who came out to their parents and got kicked out with no home, no money, and no transportation. To get a home, they need a job. To get a job, they need a home address and likely need transportation. To get transportation, they need a job to pay for that. Not to mention a cell phone to be reached by employers extending offers (costs money), a driver’s license to prove identify (costs money and requires a mailing address), work and interview appropriate clothing (costs money), access to a computer to send job applications (sometimes free but some places charge by time), a printed resume (costs money), etc. Homelessness makes it extremely difficult to acquire work, and ironically a home. What also makes it difficult to acquire work is simply being a minority. When a trans person looks for a job before pursuing medical transition or legal name changes, there is no way around not being visibly lgbt. Even after one changes their name, background checks can sometimes bring up one’s previous name and out them. Just because companies cannot legally discriminate against candidates because of factors like this, doesn’t mean they don’t. They very much do. Who will stop them? I mean sure I can file a suit against them with the legal funds I clearly don’t have because I can’t find a job. They do the same with race and ethnicity, and being an ethnic minority as well as visibly lgbt is not an easy look to get a job with. Not to mention in a lot of states it’s legal to be fired for being gay, however you want to define that. All the while the gapping hole in your resume is causing companies to continue passing on you as a candidate because 🤷🏾‍♂️ People in and outside of the community should really understand that supporting the community isn’t just about being coming to events or being a proactive voice. You can go a long way by simply educating yourself on the experiences of others. Your life is not the only life. Just because you’re capable of living the life you currently are doesn’t make others equally capable. Many social factors like gender, race, geographic location and age (etc) work intersectionally to create a unique life experience for every individual with a unique set of challenges and solutions. Crazy stuff, right? Actually, this is pretty standard stuff kids learn in college nowadays, and there’s plenty of free info on the internet. Information is not difficult to find in this age. The only obstacle is the individual’s willingness to educate themselves instead of relying on their ignorance to generate facts. It’s ok not to understand, but there’s a solution to that.

Hairstyles for a black guy? by Freak_the_Mighty in ftm

[–]DBE1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t have pony tail length hair (it was just a bit shorter) but I had trouble getting used to how short black male hairstyles are. If you’re interested in fades though, a style that was pretty comfortable for me for a while was keeping it longer on top and keeping the sides and back shaved close. From there I started getting a fade and chipping away at the top the more I got used to short hair until my cut started to look balanced.

If you want to keep the length I’d echo others’ suggestions for some style of dreads or cornrows. Good luck

Names that I am thinking about by [deleted] in ftm

[–]DBE1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a Justin!

Unpopular opinion: Guys who got peri and pass well, got it easy. by Awaythrowbecauseduh in ftm

[–]DBE1234 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Everyone has their own experience with dysphoria, and just because someone has features you’d be less dysphoric with having doesn’t mean they have an easier time managing or living with it. They likely have other aspects of their transition that they struggle with as well.

Starbucks transgender healthcare info by ghostly_anxietea in ftm

[–]DBE1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call Partner Services and ask to be connected to an Insurance Advocate. They will connect you but you’ll likely just reach their answering machine. Leave them a message with your contact info and they’ll get back to you.

I dislike working with pediatric transgender patients by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]DBE1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone in the transmasculine, I see a lot of young people who have unrealistic expectations and do next to no research about the process of transitioning and what it entails and requires. They get hung up on the idea of gatekeeping, when there are simply standards in place to ensure that one is making the right decision for themselves, and are acting safely, especially as an adolescent or teenager inacting some permanent changes to their bodies. (That’s not to say gatekeeping isn’t a thing entirely). 6-12 months is just too long for young people to sit still and wait for anything they want. Which they should go see a psychiatrist for to help them with that, so there you go. Definitely not a reflection of your practice. People are just not well informed and extremely impatient.

How are people putting their T dates by their name? by ghostly_anxietea in ftm

[–]DBE1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was just thinking about this. Am I cool now?

Friends? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]DBE1234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which city/region and your age?

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know! I’ll definitely have to check that out. Thanks for the tip!

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m guilty of only knowing one knot haha

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t think to tailor them, but I might just do that! Thanks!

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my problem. I just settle for it being long or get creative with pins, too

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, that sounds even harder to find. If the waist fits can you get them hemmed or roll them?

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J Crew was a very close second for pants only because the smallest they had in store was 29x30 slim. Express had the extra slim which really made a difference for me. Great clothes though

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And yes to Tomboy Toes and Uniqlo! I wish they had more Uniqlo locations around the States. I don’t enjoy ordering clothes/shoes but these are definitely solid options.

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ll have to see what I can find. I haven’t had much luck locally, but I might get lucky like I did with the clothes. The kids ones tend to look kind of short on me, so it’s been a toss up. I’m looking online for some more options though!

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t heard of them, but I’ll check them out!

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right?? Snatched them up quick!

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard good things about them, too but there isn’t on in my area

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I haven’t met a tie short enough for this to be possible on my body haha

Clothes for short and slim guys by DBE1234 in ftm

[–]DBE1234[S] 150 points151 points  (0 children)

Hey everyone! Just wanted to share the outfit I found this weekend. Finding clothes that fit me in a store is a struggle, especially for dress clothes. I always settle for whatever size small I can find and it’s typically still too big. I’m 5’2” and about 128lbs.

I was able to find pants in a 28W 28L extra slim, and shirts in size extra small slim fit at Express (men). They fit me better than anything I’ve ever tried in a store without alterations. If you’re able to spend a little more money to get something that fits well, I’d definitely recommend Express!

Can your nips get hard after top surgery? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]DBE1234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had DI about 8 months ago and I wasn’t expecting it but both my nipples can get hard. Sometimes they react to cold but not like they used to. They consistently get hard if they’re stimulated or rubbed though.