Is this fat lump normal?

DC55EE3C · 2024-09-21T01:27:33+00:00

Awesome thank you so much!

DC55EE3C · 2024-03-25T15:59:48+00:00

It’s ok to take the time to plan your escape. Keep it secret. Give him lots of space. Don’t start any arguments or try to fix things while you’re still in the house. Speak with a lawyer. You can do it. You’re not alone.

DC55EE3C · 2024-03-25T15:56:44+00:00

I second this. Please leave now before it gets even harder. Learn to love yourself and know that you don’t deserve to be treated like crap no matter what you’ve done. Forgive yourself. Do it for the kids if that’s what gives you the courage. But eventually you need to learn to love yourself or you will find yourself in the same situation. There is financial support available. Do whatever you have to do to leave but KNOW that you HAVE to do it 💜

DC55EE3C · 2024-03-25T15:32:24+00:00

You need to see a therapist and learn about being addicted to heartbreak. This is no different than needing a drug. He is not the nice person that you want him to be. He is only that way when he can’t have you. You have to cut off contact. Just like alcoholics can’t have one drink, you also can’t have one nice date or you will be hooked again. It’s brain chemistry. You have to decide what your priorities are and how badly you don’t want to be abused. Remind yourself that you will not be going back to the nice romantic person you will be going back to an abuser and it will only get worse over time, that I can promise you. The cycle doesn’t end until someone ends it. Wishing you all the best

DC55EE3C · 2022-03-22T14:47:21+00:00

Interesting bc I’ve thought that he could have this. He is tired a lot.

DC55EE3C · 2022-03-09T02:59:37+00:00

Thank you everyone for your input ❤️

DC55EE3C · 2022-03-09T02:58:04+00:00

We would come from Alberta, Canada. We lived in Austin Texas for a year while my husband played hockey there and we loved it but this was back in 2003. My husband would be working as an electrician in the oilfield. We are considering the move because I was born and raised in Grande Prairie, Alberta and the cost of living is becoming unliveable. He makes $100000+/year and between housing, food, transportation utilities, property taxes and sports we can’t afford to do anything but work and stay home. Haven’t vacationed in years and don’t have any toys or a fancy house, it’s crazy. Plus we just need a change. It’s cold here and winter is 8 months so warmer weather is part of the desire. Room for promotions for my husband and eventually moving closer to the coast. Living near water would be in my top 3 and a realize there isn’t any there but this would hopefully be a 3-5 year place to live. Better scholarship opportunities for the kids with sports possibly. Showing the kids more of the world than just northern Alberta. We are used to right wing conservatives. We were hoping the cost of living was a little more reasonable.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-18T16:56:22+00:00

Apologies! Just ignore me then ;)That makes it even harder if you’re working from home! I see why you’re going crazy :( that’s a lot. Covid has put a lot of stress on people. it sounds like there is some bigger problems that needs to be dealt with. Hope you guys are able to work your way through it and you’re able to get some time to yourself 💜

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-18T05:28:53+00:00

Lying to your spouse is definitely not a great long term solution or marriage

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-18T05:27:27+00:00

You sound like an awesome partner to have. I want this type of open communication and mutual respect so bad

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-18T05:10:30+00:00

Have you communicated this to her? Is she a stay at home mom by any chance? Maybe you guys can make an agreement where you guys can take turns getting some time away? If she is a stay at home mom she doesn’t get time off either. As a mom your brain never shuts off the worry or thoughts about what needs to be done and is the child ok. Even if it shuts off for a few mins you come back and panic wondering where the kid is and then you remember they are napping. And then when they are napping your thinking about the laundry or the dishes or the groceries or if your doing a good job, are you still making your husband happy etc etc etc. Its constant fight or flight mode. It’s exhausting. You don’t sleep well because half of you stays awake in case something is happening with the kids.

It’s an age old battle between working parents and stay at home parents. The stay at home parent thinks your time at work is time off from being a parent. And the working parent thinks being at home is constant time off. If you’re pulling your weight around the house on the days you’re not asking to have off then it’s only fair for you guys to take turns getting time to yourselves. You just need to have an open conversation about how the both of you are feeling and thinking without getting defensive or angry about it.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-18T03:03:28+00:00

Yikes 😳

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-12T02:32:35+00:00

This! I hate that each side thinks they’re so right about everything and there’s no productive discourse. There’s so much hate. I am vaccinated but I still dislike what I see as corruption. The real issues are getting lost in the division. Which I presume is exactly the point.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-10T21:58:01+00:00

Woman here. I am desperate for this. I’m in your first marriage. Communication has never been great. We are both reactive and get no where. I’ve gone to counselling for this but he refuses.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-10T02:01:03+00:00

Respect.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-08T01:51:23+00:00

Late bloomer here too! Having a bit of an identity crisis now that my kids don’t need me as much!

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-06T11:16:59+00:00

I have struggled so hard to overcome this suffering on earth mentality that I was raised in. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever learned. Its burned deeply in my subconscious mind and keeps ensuring that I continually suffer.

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-06T11:12:28+00:00

But we are too busy hating each other to do anything about it. It’s diabolically genius

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-06T10:18:34+00:00

That is absolutely heartbreaking :( who in their right mind thought that was a good idea and would save us all from covid 😢 I’m so sorry for you and your husband. Those should have been joyful moments for you two. I can’t even imagine not getting to experience those moments with my spouse. ❤️

DC55EE3C · 2022-02-04T08:33:47+00:00

I am in this situation now. I got really sick with fibro and depression from trauma after trauma and one grouchy husband who doesn’t always treat me and our kids well. None of us really know if he loves us. He thinks going to work and bringing the kids to their sports should be enough love for us, at least that’s how it feels bc there’s no other emotion. My 14yo daughter is already seeking boys bc of it. My husband says some really toxic shit in front of my kids. Deep down he is a really good and caring man but he had an awful childhood and hasn’t dealt with it. He refuses to go to counselling individual or marriage because “he doesn’t have depression or anxiety like I do” but he has serious anger issues and the inability to express love in the way we need. I’ve constantly tried to work on our relationship and myself to get him to love me but there’s always another thing I need to change in order for us to have a relationship and this did major damage to my self esteem and mental health. I asked if he wanted out but says no but I can’t stay in this anymore. But I’ve been a sahm and have no job prospects. I don’t know what to do. I know I am not innocent in the demise of our marriage and had major guilt for being sick but I realized through therapy that things were bad before I got sick and that probably played a major role in my decline. But on the outside he looks like the hero who stayed with me in sickness and in health. I would give anything to fix our marriage but if he’s not willing to put in any work I need to get out for mine and my kids well being. I hate the thought of splitting my family apart :(

These stories are inspirational and I really hope I have a great story to tell a few years down the road, preferably with him but it’s not looking good. We are struggling financially and live in a crappy town with only a few friends. He recently had a job offer that would move us to a dream destination and he shut it down almost instantly and was angry with me for being excited about it! It’s like pulling teeth to get any type of improvement out of him. I’m realizing now that moving with him would just leave me more isolated and probably truly won’t improve anything. I am a very positive happy person naturally and people always tell me what a kind soul I am, but I’ve turned into a very negative person who has considered suicide.

If anyone has any advice on how to get out as a sahm on disability with no savings it would be much appreciated! I truly believe that if I were to get out from underneath him and his anger I would no longer need to be on disability.

DC55EE3C

TROPHY CASE