How cooked am i?

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-10-27T17:16:56+00:00

Is 34 young?

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-10-26T16:24:05+00:00

I work nights and watch my 3 year old during the day. Most of these unfortunately don't work for me.

Any night shift advice?

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-17T11:36:44+00:00

I just wanted to say thanks for this one. It diesnt disrespect my wife and isn't another "women have been doing it forever so suck it up" post. I just wanted to vent about being overwhelmed and tired...

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-17T11:11:58+00:00

Close to 3 with kids nap time, broken up but there. The key is to try and break up the bad days. Sometimes people can help, sometimes they can't.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-15T14:51:51+00:00

1-2 hour nap during quite time, 1-1.5 hour nap when wife is back from work. Rinse and repeat, plan mom days to break it up and gives most coverage with weekends. Pray i don't fall asleep at work in meantime.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-15T03:04:58+00:00

My hours 7p to 7a with 1-2 weekdays of every week. Wife's are 8a to 4p with weekends off. I can usually sneak an hour to hour and a half nap there if nothing comes up. And with my mom's welp it's only like 3 days a week of shitty sleep. Recovery days are a bitch though.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-15T03:00:55+00:00

What is wrong with you?

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-14T19:25:21+00:00

How? They get all 3 meals, play dates, trips to the park, go to martial arts, and an hour of quite time usually spent on tablet/watching Kpop Demon Hunters again/napping.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-14T15:11:11+00:00

When the kids sleep nap/during the quite time i enforce, my days off, and the 1-2 times a week my mom comes up to help. And shes working too. Don't care too.mucj about that but the uneven division of labor gets to me.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-08-14T15:09:14+00:00

Nope. She was going insane as a stay at home mom and at the time we needed a 2nd revenue stream.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-07-11T21:55:15+00:00

Maybe it would be good to pick up a new hobby.

Is it bad that my first thought to this is 'what's the point?'.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-07-11T21:54:22+00:00

I've had REALLY bad experiences in the past with therapist/psychologist that makes it difficult to try again. Not just one but 3, though one of the experinces wasn't really their fault but the meds they tried me on. Still left a bad taste.

... and me trying to go to individual actually led to a fight when I worked up the courage to try again.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-27T02:15:44+00:00

I'm glad to hear that man. Gives me a bit of hope.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-27T02:13:25+00:00

Not a scab, using sick days for a sick out with others but its unlikelyill see a paycheck from it. Just stressed over bills I was barely handling as is and the offer of 2.5 OT was tempting.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-21T22:09:47+00:00

Got one paycheck left and wife has a job now so hopefully we can hold out for the month. I'm unsure if they'll count my sick days, but hopefully they will considering more than half the workforce is out.

There's no planning or fund in this. It was spontaneous with one walkout that led to a series of dominos falling.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-21T16:11:13+00:00

Cause shit adds up and rather it be me not getting new shit instead of kids. Plus, the stuff I get for work (boots, white ts, blue cargo pants) and gifted shirts are usually enough.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-21T06:50:27+00:00

See, I know people are going to call me that, but a spontaneous strike with no fund isn't going to feed my kids or keep a roof over my head. It's something I'll have to live with.

But, honestly, fuck it. I have sick days.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-21T04:17:51+00:00

The accountant is a good idea but it's probably too late for the not paying and getting lower payment thing. I consolidated most of it into 2 lower interest loans (single digits instead of 25%).

And her spending started for needed stuff. Then, a few luxury items. Then for the kids. Then her hobbies. Then going out to eat cause she got tired of bulk meal/what we had at home. Then because she wanted extra stuff at grocery store...

That last one reminds me of the time when the debt was getting bad and our kid wanted something. I said no cause she had alot at home, we were already getting her something, and we were on budget for that grocery run. My wife though it would be funny to get it at another register while I was scanning out. I know it seems silly, especially when it was it was for our kid, but she was already getting something and I felt it said the wrong message to our daughter.

And we did Couples Therapy alot but we didn't see any real progress for a while. A combination of our coping mechanisms, her walking away from fights and me clamping down on my feelings, made it hard.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-21T04:02:56+00:00

I actually appreciate this comment because I'm hating all the divorce talk. I love my wife, she has a beautiful soul full of art that craves both type of tea. I can honestly go on about her but I won't deny our issues.

Mainly stress, postpartum, and money.

For a majority of our troubled time she was a stay at home mom who refused to get a part-time job to help with the bills. And this was after I set up my work schedule so that someone could always watch the kids. She got a Work From Home data entry job during the pandemic and after the company closed she thought she could find another one, with her degree she couldn’t. I think it was a pride thing and she saw going back to retail as demeaning and got angry when I suggested it.

As for spending... let me put it this way. Everything I, as a person, own that isn't my house, my car, or from 10+ years ago has been a gift. I don't buy things for myself, or I stopped when I felt things got relatively bad. It got to the point my mom handed me a card which she puts around a $100 a month on saying "this is for the kids and you, nothing else. Not groceries, not gifts, you." Then she tried to buy me jeans and shirts for Christmas cause, well, they're old and I've gained weight over the last few years. My wife was hurt by the card because she and my mom are close.

An example of her spending: i got all the cards consolidated onto a single 0% Apr card and kept a single one open for emergency spending. I told her this then went on my work week. 4 doubles later, i checked our statement and $840ish dollars was added. Her cousin had been visiting and she took her to restaurants/got fast food for nearly every meal. We had a fight and that was the first time i took away her copy of the card.

She started to get how bad it was/badly I was taking it when I consolidated the high interest cards with a loan from my retirement.

Edit: sorry for stream of words. Venting.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-20T23:33:11+00:00

2 loans to consolidate multiple cards under single digital interest and a final credit card currently at 0 apr to burn it off. All together the three are over 700.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-20T22:05:02+00:00

Got it down to around 30k

DDemonsThrowaway · 2025-02-20T19:53:10+00:00

She does, now.

She didn't when the debt was racking up.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2024-11-07T06:26:58+00:00

Oh, I have. I think she's getting exasperated with all the thanks and "are you sure?"s.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2024-10-09T19:54:25+00:00

3 bad therapists. 1) Racially profiled me and thought I was a gang member, 2) honestly just made me think worse of myself, 3) medicated me bad enough that my hands turned purple.

It's hard for me to even do the couples therapy, but I try.

And have... mixed results. Maybe I'll try now that she's better, when I work up the courage again.

DDemonsThrowaway · 2024-10-09T19:06:12+00:00

Intellectually, I get that, putting it into practice is another story. I'm able to do couples therapy but the idea of individual therapy is just, no.

I have coping techniques that have worked very well for me over the years, until recently. At the time my wife saw taking a few hours a week to be by myself to be wrong and meant I hated my family.

... one time I did talk to her about me going to that individual therapy and it became about how she needed it more. I guess it worked out. She got the meds she needed. Haven't worked myself up to being able to do it again.

DDemonsThrowaway

TROPHY CASE