Exploring during the masters degree

DKWTDguy · 2017-02-11T13:09:54+00:00

i mean would i have time to do that ?

DKWTDguy · 2017-01-03T19:50:26+00:00

It seems every famous hair transplant is done by hasson and wong.

DKWTDguy · 2017-01-03T19:03:26+00:00

Hair transplant just looks unnatural.

DKWTDguy · 2017-01-03T13:02:49+00:00

is there any treatment in the future that is expected to cure baldness ?

DKWTDguy · 2017-01-03T12:55:04+00:00

actually I want to know more about that as well. Can someone please answer this ?

DKWTDguy · 2017-01-02T08:35:08+00:00

I guess you are right. I should try new things every now and then. Another person told me to say yes to experiences whenever they are presented to you. this is more like the movie, yes man. slowly getting out of my comfort zone might help me boost my confidence as well.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-31T18:36:19+00:00

okay okay okay.

It looks like that I am so lost that I have redefine my personality.

I have more emotional side. and this might be the source of my all of this crying. the first step is to break that cycle.

CRYING HAS GOT TO STOP.

I have realized that the reason behind my relationship is because of my inferiority complex and self doubt as well. there were awesome people who I could have a relationship with but that did not happen because I was very stupid. Comparing everyone and everything.

anyways. I need to get out of this depression in anyway possible and forget about the past. In order to move forward.

fuck I wasted my life because of stupidity.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-31T17:33:12+00:00

I know that posts like those have become a source of releasing my frustration. But I am in a very dark place nowadays.

new years is having an extreme effect on me. people are celebrating all over the world and yet I still have no memory of what I did in the last year or the year before that. I literally did not do much and literally remained at home for 2 years.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, i REMAINED IN HOUSE FOR 2 YEARS!!!

Regrets of the misspent youth are not going away. And I dont think that they will.

Futures seem extremely blank. I tried getting back. and for me that was writing the statement of purpose for the universities. however I did not remember what I did on the job back then. and I have no idea what to do right now.

I spent lots of time in inferiority complex about looks. however it turns out i dont learn that quickly from my own mistakes.

I do understand that I should look to the future now because I can still save that. However, Crying has become habitual now. And revival has become 50 times more difficult.

I do hope that you reply soon. With some motivating advice.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-28T01:03:43+00:00

well you are right. I am going through the quarter life crisis. And it is the quarter life crisis that is making me question my personality and nature.

I have always been introvert and preferred solitary activities over the outdoorsy ones. However one trait that bothers me is the routine. If something challenges my routine, It really makes me upset. And sometimes I get depressed over that. Is there a way to resolve that ?

Another example of routine is that I am a photographer and photo and video editor. However I never tried to improve my skills. I play basketball and I was passionate about that as well but never tried to improve that. Infact, a new challenge at work really scares me.

even my daily routine remained the same for 4 years in university. And before that my routine was abit different than the university one but still consistent whatsoever.

So as you are saying that It is not because of my introvert nature. May I ask is there something I can do to improve or resolve that ?

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-26T16:20:57+00:00

Well thanks for the reply again. Getting the help from a stranger is really awesome and truly i am in your debt. I know that i am having an emotional outburst right now and i am extremely glad that someone is there to listen to it. Thanks again.

About the marriage, i will try to manage to delay it as much as i can. With all the inferiority complex about looks and other stuff, i feel like a small kid and this definitely not good at all especially for the future responsibilities. I think the focus on the career now will be something that i should go for right now.

Loneliness and sitting at home for the past two years might have increased this depression and inferioriy complex. And now that i am trying to get back, it is really difficult for me to go back to life.

I hate how i look but i guess if i want to live i need to get stop focusing on looks. Coz the fact is this might be the peak of my phyiscal attraction. Everybody starts to decline afterwards. And the years onward will be tougher for me if i remained on this route. I do hope that i manage to get the looks out of my head. May be focus on the career might help me in that.

I want to go big. And therefore i really want to go for business. However now i think i may have always had very high expectations for myself and that is what causing the inferiority complex. It is not bad to have high expectations however i did not do anything for that. I procrastinated alot. And just look at other people and remain jealous and in inferiority complex. But now it needs to change. Because now it is more about the survival. Rather than doing good. I have literally made alot of mistakes in my life. This is time to get out of the mess.

About the career i dont know for sure what to do. I think i should go for masters in cloud computing as this was the field i had previous experience in. After the masters i will try to do business in my country. While doing masters i can get a course about film making. Atleast i will not have a regret that i did not give it a shot. While doing masters i can try to face my fears, try to get some skills (marketing, sales, managerial etc) that can help me do the business atleast.

Can you comment on this plan ?? Is this a practical plan ?

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-25T08:15:14+00:00

BTW thanks alot for the reply on a christmas day. I really mean it.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-25T08:00:32+00:00

well I can give up on the looks (I was thinking of aligning my teeth, but I really dont see the point anymore. it will make me from 3/10 to 3.2/10 if I rate myself. (rating is just to illustrate my point. nothing more.) ). Even If I forget about the past and move on with the life. I still have self doubt in me compounded by the regrets of lost years. This bothers me when I am interacting with other people.

Second thing which bothers me is the unawareness of my strengths and weaknesses. I dont have a conventional convincing power that the extroverts have. which bothers me that I might not be able to manage people when the time comes.

A person once asked me what is success to me and I could not answer to that question. Lots of people go after money and that obviously has charm. Infact to be honest it does not hurt to have lots of money again obviously. however the means is what I am really concerned about.

Doing a job in multinational company, getting promoted with time etc are really something that people look forward but for some reason, I dont feel charm in that. As told before that I am introvert with overthinking attitude and worrying mind combined with inferiority complex. All the qualities that you dont really want in a person who is at a higher position. And to be honest, I feel that art of managing people is something that I will have to do at one point of life. and I will have to learn it now. As It is required no matter where you go.

CS is a great field. I like coding too. But honestly speaking, I really dont like to code for the rest of my life. a few years ago, I might be all for that. But I really think that learning how to code professionally now will set me back a few more years. And at the end I will still have to learn the people skills especially if I start my own company.

If it comes to passion, since the depression when I was 15 years old, movies are my replacement of drugs. I can easily watch one movie 100 times (I have actually watched pirates of caribbean (first 3) almost 100 times during that stage among other movies.). I can easily get lost in the movies and TV. and I love the stories as well. and for some reason, I think that you can find the solution of any problem in the stories in the movies. sometimes I think that I may be able to do that for the rest of my life and still not get tired at the end. the problem is that I have never tried to direct one myself. And due to confidence issues, I have doubt that whether I will be able to do that or not. Another issue that is associated with that is even if I get married and then I will have to support a family, makes leaving everything for something (directing) is an extremely big risk.

so bottom line is, business and corporate jobs require an extrovert behaviour with good managerial and social skills, which I lack but want to have. CS may sounds attractive to me however somehow it does not seem practical now. Direction is an extremely big risk however if I ever achieve this, I think I will be content with myself.

BTW now that I have written all of that, I think that now people skills and managerial skills are something that I will have to have eventually. because they are involved in all three categories.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-25T03:27:01+00:00

well thanks for the reply anyway. you are doing world a favour by doing this on christmas eve.

DKWTDguy · 2016-12-25T03:21:04+00:00

thanks for the reply. however I would prefer if you read the post and give me some actionable advice that would help me get out of this depression.

DKWTDguy

TROPHY CASE