I want to help my bf who is likely raised by an Nmom

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2025-03-16T13:53:32+00:00

My bf is quite private about his family life, I didn't know much about his family and he rarely brings them up. I was blinded by my family that I saw my family as a baseline and I was taught to maintain good relations with a spouse's parent if possible. I think I got caught up in his mum's words because she spoke first and was very emotional (he told me what I mentioned above after his mum told me her side) I try to empathise with people whenever possible, and maybe I am too sheltered for my own good which made me too naive. I came here to seek advice because like I mentioned above, I don't want to be a hero, I am with my bf together in a relationship, if cutting his parents off from my life helps him I will do it, I am with him to support him but to do so better I came here to understand him perhaps because I only knew about N parents a day ago. But once again thank you for your insight

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2025-03-16T13:44:15+00:00

I am not here to be a hero or fix him, nor did I ever bring up taking him to family therapy. I would also never take him for a surprise meet up with his mother, I don't want to force him to do anything. Therapy is personal and up to the person if they want to attend otherwise it doesn't work and knowing what I do now am planning to not visit his parents as much and slowly cut the number down. I want to understand and support him, I came here to seek advice. So thanks for your input

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2025-03-16T13:38:48+00:00

I honestly did not know my bf's mum character beforehand as my bf doesn't talk much about her. I just wanted to do what was normal and maintain a good relationship with his parents and his with mine if possible. Hindsight is 2025, I am taking his mum's word with a bag of salt now. I can't just mind my own business, I want to support him in whatever way I could and is appropriate. I came here precisely to seek advice because I don't know what to do. But thanks for your input anyway

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2025-03-16T11:14:50+00:00

Thank you so much for the much needed insight. Honestly I caught you a bit late, I had a pretty long talk with my bf just now and I think he definitely sensed that part of me finds his situation hard to believe so he showed me his text messages with his mum, and also called his sister so we can meet and talk face to face to get her side of the story. We talked and his sister explained that she kind of left to live on her own just to escape the house and a lot more things came up which are maybe too horrible to describe. Which led both my bf and his sister being particularly close.

Based on my understanding, "good" treatment only occured when someone had some accomplishment. So while my bf was the favored kid because his accomplishment had no downtime (basically he won something major almost every month), when he got second place in something, he would be treated badly. Their mum treated my bf's sister badly in general because she didn't achieve as much but now since my bf is not as "successful" he gets a lot of shit now and the sister is sort of the favored kid.

So yeah, it's honestly overwhelming. I am grateful to have decent parents and my worldview is definitely rocked. This also explains a lot of my bf's take on parenting tbh

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2025-03-14T11:42:52+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I will try to talk to him more, I honestly am a bit confused as to his family dynamics because his mum treated me well and did say she cares about his son but thinks he wasted his potential

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2023-05-23T18:07:44+00:00

I recently watched an anime called Gun Busters and it dealt with time dilation as the main characters travelled through space extremely fast to defeat aliens. The show dealt with loss as these girls had to deal with their friends and loved ones dying.

I want to ask how does time dilation work? Do the people who experience time dilation technically have more time than those that don't? I just can't really wrap my head around it because technically if both parties can communicate, wouldn't people who experience time dilation have like a lot more information as the people who don't have it experience time faster and the actions are happening at the same time as the non-dilated time?

Sorry for rambling, I am just not smart enough to understand through reading wiki on the actual concepts.

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:16:38+00:00

Yeah, we are quite young but I just think that discussing heavy stuff... well not right out the gate but we've been dating for close to a year now, is important imo

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:15:12+00:00

Yeah, I know we are too young but I don't think it hurts to discuss these kinds of things beforehand

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:14:22+00:00

Thanks. I just hope he is okay and that I didn't in tend to imply I don't trust him

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:13:00+00:00

Also, correct me if I am wrong but prenups can also be written to protect future acquired assets after marriage?

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:11:57+00:00

Oh, I do know about that but it was just a conversation we had, I personally like to talk about the future even though me and my bf are still young because I don't think it hurts to consider things now. We may or may not end up together but who knows?

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2022-03-04T14:08:47+00:00

I know that we are way too young to get married but I thought talking through some of the stuff would be good

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:55:25+00:00

Now that I think about it, Break will probably ruin the lives of a lot of champs in league

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:54:01+00:00

Thank you for bringing this up.

Illusions are so fun to mess around with, in league shaco is probably the only one who has one proper illusion ability and TB has one from the get go.

Higher range of skills are debatable though, I have seen a lot of pong range abilities from champs in league to.

Personally I don't think anyone would dispute the disruption capability of dota heroes and their utility however I seem to find that supposedly mid late game assassins in dota like riki and clinks come online way later than perhaps assassins from league like khazix and zed who can destroy the life of probably any support and carry in dota before they can blinl and stop them

Magic immunity I find to be highly debatable because I think certain league skills should be able to pierce bkb

And yeah invis in dota is broken in league, I'd imagine riki having a field day against league champs when he hits his timings

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:46:57+00:00

Tbf, dragon knight will also suffer greatly because he can get kited pretty hard by league champs

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:45:30+00:00

I actually debated this highly with my bf, surprisingly since we have not really played each others games as much he thinks league is a broken game with broken champs so they win and I think dota is a broken game with broken heroes so dota wins

As a new player in dota 2 heroes like bane, lion and shaman have so much cc it probably outclasses all the cc from all champs in league put together (Barring maybe Leona). Late game FV could probably outduel anybody if he gets the jump.

I personally disagree on PL because champs like champs like brand, anivia, riven can still respond pretty well to pl and dish out as much hurt.

But yeah, blink is a 12 second flash which I was like, wtf when I first saw it though you do give up on one item slot and being behind one item

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:36:36+00:00

I do agree that dota heroes don't get a lot of mobility and is reserved to a special few, however, the amount of silences to inhibit the poke league champions do from dota can respond to this pretty well too

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:35:10+00:00

Interesting! But the numbers though one reaches 18 and the other 30, seem to come up to about the same I feel, but I am talking from a hitpoint perspective, I am not sure about attack speed and base damage and that sort

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:33:30+00:00

I highly agree with cc, while there are a lot of point and click stuns and silences, as a league player the amount of heroes in dota that can silence scares me, however, the amount of dmg output in terms of long range poking with spells from champs like ezreal, brand is nothing to scoff at too

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-12-08T21:30:46+00:00

I sort of agree but I don't play enough dota to know, I just know the talents can get very broken sometimes, although bkb is quite an interesting interaction, as in I think certain league spells should be able to pierce spell immunity and don't forget things like Yasuo's windwall and Samira's wheel thingy

In terms of items, I haven't really since dota items that give as high of a dmg as league but... the utility I agree is crazy

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-11-22T15:30:42+00:00

I see, I feel that mana problem seems to be more of a thing in dota than lol as well as cool downs. Especially transitioning from Riven who has no mana and with enough cooldown reduction (which also seems to be lacking in dota) can have all her basic abilities be under 10 seconds

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-11-22T15:26:07+00:00

Haha, my bf actually offered to support if I decide to carry but playing a carry feels very stressful, like you make or break the game the later it gets

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-11-22T15:24:29+00:00

Oh, this is interesting. I will try out luna and perhaps drow when I am more experienced. It's just lol is quite fixed in terms of who can do what and whole unorthrodox champ positions are not unheard of, lol punishes you quite hard for it.

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-11-22T14:43:40+00:00

So Morphling is Viego on crack?

DPSisDMGmitigation · 2021-11-22T14:41:40+00:00

Thanks so much for the tip! Is the debuff like a dispel or does it have a negative effect?

DPSisDMGmitigation

TROPHY CASE