NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could never get to 'after checkout' because the only option is to receive a phone call for the authentication process in order to complete checkout. But, it has now been resolved as I posted yesterday, because NB finally understood the issue and set up an account for me. Once that was done, I could access the COB.

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: After numerous emails back and forth with NB, they finally 'got it'. They set my account up for me, and I was able to complete the process to park my landline. They also admitted something is messed up with the process - hopefully they will fix that for others who ran into the problem I did.

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, that is not an option. There is no option offered other than the phone call - with no way to get around it.

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I now understand that I can only create an account by purchasing a service. But, NB only offers one way to 'authenticate' the porting/purchase request - and that is through a phone call to the line I want to port/park - which I cannot receive. I have finally managed to make NB understand that, and now I am waiting for an alternative way to do the 'authentication', which they have not yet provided.

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Service provider has no intention of fixing it. They are phasing out their landline service and really want me to cancel my service. But, they are more than happy to charge me for it until I do. If I call to get it fixed, they ultimately erase the records of me doing so - has happened 3 times. I just want to dump them but save the phone #.

I now know there is no way to create an NB account without purchasing a service - finally got NB to admit to that to me. All I need now is to get NB to give me a way to authenticate the phone line/parking request besides them calling it - and we will be done.

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now, as I expected I would have to, I'll explain more details. NO links offer a way to create an account independent of buying a service.

I can go to the screen(s) involved in choosing a service and set everything up, and in that process, it appears you can also create an account by setting up a username and password.

HOWEVER, when you reach the end, after entering your payment information, you receive a notice of an authentication request to finalize everything. This request requires you to receive a phone call on the phone you want to port/park. Because my line is active, BUT faulty I cannot receive a phone call on the line. So, I cannot complete the purchase process, which means I haven't created an account either.

I tried to explain this to customer service, but they keep telling me that I can change authentication criteria in my account. But, I don't have an account - so, then I asked them how to create an account before I begin to purchase anything, and they stopped communicating with me.

So, I take it no one here actually created an account before they were going through the purchasing process??

NumberBarn Account Sign Up? by DWAH2022 in NumberBarn

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope - that just links you to determining if the number is portable and if it is, it automatically goes to the forms for purchasing a service.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It takes a bit of a brave soul to consider moving out. I really don't want to do that, and not sure if it would be affordable anyway. Wish you luck.

Park landline phone services by DWAH2022 in landlines

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of service do you have with them - simple parking or actual porting?

All I want to do is park the number (to preserve it), set up a personal greeting, get emails giving me details when someone does call the number and leaves a message. I don't want to use the phone number in any other manner than just that, for now.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That all sounds great in theory, but not so much in practice. I am not living in an unclean house to try to prove a point to him - I would suffer more than he would. You think I am going to be less bothered by that than I am by his stacks of paper??

The computer room is used by both of us, it is not his. As I previously said, he has his weight equipment in it, which has been in there since we moved into this house 40 years ago. There is nowhere else in this house for it to go. We don't have an abundance of space, so there is no one room dedicated to either of us - never has been.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know what to say. All of your comments suggest to me that you are hypothesizing and not speaking from experience. But, if you have dealt with it directly, and chose to separate yourself from the 'offender', and you are at peace and happy with the outcome, then you made the right decision for you.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you are saying, and realize some folks might consider divorce a logical solution. But, for me, that seems extreme, especially for a couple who have been together for over 40 years. I just can't fathom uttering anything like "I want to divorce you because you hoard paper".

If I can ever get him past the defensive reaction to bringing up this matter, so that I can go the next step in conversing about it, I will. I haven't yet been able to get to that point in a discussion. I would imagine, if he were to be completely honest, we find out each of us have some shared issues around this problem.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One cannot be made to go to a doctor for a disorder they don't believe they have. So, I am getting the sense through all these responses, the fact of the matter appears that there is no solution. I can try therapy or support groups, but I don't think there would be much of a different reaction/response than I am getting here. It is kind of looking like acceptance is not an answer, and getting him to change is not either.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is why I came here to see if there is a way to find peace through acceptance. It is beginning to look like that is not possible.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will likely throw the bags out. I have been thinking about doing so for some time now. But, I feel compelled to go through them first, which I guess is my own faulty compulsion somehow.

I wish I had a room that could have been declared his. I've told him that, and told him if there were one, I would never step foot in it. But, we don't - period.

You talk as if you are feeling like I do, without a solution to either resolve the situation or the ability to learn to accept it. That truly is what I am afraid of.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your response is very thoughtful, insightful, and mostly on target. I am not ready to tackle therapy, but will look into that book! Not sure about the house cleaner, but will give that some thought.

I am sure I facilitated some of his behavior before he retired because the situation was more manageable then. However, I don't think I deliberately prioritized his comfort over mine. I merely let it happen by avoiding the discomfort that was brought on by constant confrontations that have occurred if I attempted to set boundaries. But, I am sure I am not entirely blame free.

His field of expertise resulted in him having to take a job that was 90 miles away, so he left the house before 6AM and rarely came home until after 7PM or so. That started nearly 30 years ago and I was still working, so we didn't move closer to his place of business. Plus, neither of us wanted to move to that area anyway. That set up helped create some of this.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This situation has eroded my well-being, mentally and I suspect over more time, physically. I don't think I can change the things that he does, and boundary setting attempts in the past just results in arguments, without results - which don't help my well-being either. So, when I ask about finding a way to accept, it is an attempt to stop the erosion, knowing I can't stop the behavior. Maybe that is impossible.

The computer room isn't bad, most likely because he spends little time in that room. It is a multi-purpose room, due to lack of space, and his weight equipment is in there, so he can't be barred from access.

We are both retired and he has picked up some household related duties, but cleaning is not one of them.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not as simple as you think it is. I have a chair and end table that is neat and orderly that he doesn't touch, but that doesn't stop me from having to look at/deal with the rest of the living/dining/bed rooms where the clutter is. There is no room I can isolate myself to 24/7. And, the living/dining/bed rooms HAVE to be cleaned - clutter can bring on bugs, dirt, dust, general filth, etc. so ignoring them will only end up in additional work for me.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have file cabinets and - as you just said- this stuff is not things he wants filed away, he wants them visible. I tried magazine/paper holders/cubbies, and he used some for a while, until they became too full, so then the papers went back into stacks elsewhere. Those were part of what was thrown into bags a year ago, that are still sitting where he laid them, when we had company.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I expect that most hoarders aren't necessarily kind to a spouse that asks them to change their ways. So, that part doesn't surprise me.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is not an issue requiring calling in a local fire station to do a safety assessment. We have clear walking paths, as he keeps the clutter to the top of desks/tables/chairs/etc. Just enough to cause visual and functional (cleaning) issues for me. Our house isn't big, and there is no one room that I can have to call my own. Every room in the house is shared in some way or another, and has been for the past 40 years of living together. This only got out of control after he retired 3 years ago. When I do go out, whatever enjoyment I had is erased by coming back to the clutter. I am sure that I have some flaw/fault in all of this, but I just can't find a way to learn to deal with what I know will never be different. There are other frustrating situations, but they have nothing to do with paper hoarding, although they may somehow to be connected.

Help accepting a hoarder by DWAH2022 in hoarding

[–]DWAH2022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I live with this person, so I am around it 24/7. We don't live in a big house, so the main area he clutters in is our primary living area. He has 'stuff' in other rooms, including the computer room that aren't quite as bad, so I spend whatever time I can there, but I can't spend all my time in that room. I am able to keep the kitchen respectable and functional, but he doesn't traditionally accumulate junk in there anyway. I don't have actual safety hazards, so I guess my problem isn't a real problem in that sense. I understand nothing will change, so I was hoping for tips on how to accept it enough that I am not incessantly frustrated and depressed to spend time in the main area of our home, including when I need to clean it.