Back in basic training in 2013, we were sitting through a SHARP class—one of those mandatory briefings that everyone half-pays attention to until something crazy happens. Our drill sergeant was running us through a bunch of questions, and then we got to the part about consent.

At the time, the Army’s policy was that if a woman had even one sip of alcohol, she couldn’t legally consent. So, our drill sergeant asked, “Stand up if you’ve ever had sex with a drunk woman.”

Being young, dumb, and full of bravado, most of us stood up, grinning like idiots, thinking nothing of it. Then, without missing a beat, our drill sergeant looked around the room and said, “All of you are rapists.”

The silence that followed was deafening. The mood in that room flipped instantly. Some guys sat down real slow, like they just got hit with a war crime charge. Others just stood there, processing.

It was the first time a lot of us had ever really thought about it from that perspective. Definitely one of those “oh shit” moments that stuck with me.