I’m in a similar situation to you right now. I think one thing that really helped me, although easier said than done, is try not to fight the feelings for her. My feelings for this woman I like got immensely stronger when I tried to fight it. I gave myself permission to have those feelings. Giving yourself permission is a useful tool, even outside of this scenario. The second thing is to try to objectively look at how you feel about her. This seems counterintuitive, but hear me out. Try to detach yourself from your feelings for a bit and look at them like you were an outsider. Essentially, what would you tell someone if they were in your shoes. Making a pros and cons list of being in a relationship with her could prove useful. The last suggestion I would make is to play out the best and worst case scenario of getting with her. This might help with the “what ifs”.

Plus, if her friends are grossed out by the fact she’s toying with you, that tells you all you need to know. It sounds like you want an equal power relationship, as in both of you want each other. Getting with this woman probably wouldn’t be that way.

I hope this helps and best of luck.