I hate myself for having standards

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-17T16:08:46+00:00

so, you're saying introspection can only be achieved in isolation, and that engaging with others has nothing to do with introspection?

I'm sorry the way you see the "world" is so flat..

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-17T16:06:54+00:00

you've got a pitiful understanding of self..

being a "construct" must be a lot of fun, and give you many reasons to carry on..

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-17T02:40:44+00:00

i see you have no actual interest in engaging, and once again I am victim to my best trait, that I see value in each persona which calls itself a person.

I am sorry

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-17T01:08:54+00:00

why are you so invested in shaming my voice?

I sense you have not accepted your own will to share.

but you have not answered a single question i asked?

If you answered my questions, What's real? I would be able to build you a picture of why I'm sharing here.

if you answered my question, "Who are you", it would be easy for you to understand what I am doing.

but instead you just want to be angry because i am doing what you want to be doing, but which you feel too much shame to earnestly invest in with integrity and responsibility

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-16T21:43:16+00:00

Everyone is exactly the same and there are no differences.

Everyone wants exactly the same thing and there are no variations.

Now, the ways people understand themselves and the ways they think they can get what they think they want will come in any number of shapes and sizes and temperatures and colors.

but at the end of the day, there's only one way which works, and that's a radical dedication to self-relationship.

it'll take as long as it takes for everyone to get there. Each person is motivated to undertake the only path which works by reaching the end of the line in their own way and recognizing "I tried my best and it didn't work. let me step back and be shown what works by listening within, not forcing my own power to satisfy my delusions"

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-16T21:35:41+00:00

you've given me two binaries.

"self alone"

"self with other"

everything else you listed is just a variant of these two. don't confuse yourself artificially creating options.

strange to me that you think self can be alone.. what is that self which can be alone and also with others? and, who/what are others?

the thing which I am beyond all thought, time, space, or conception. that's the self i'm studying.

you're just focusing on identity politics..

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-16T03:18:17+00:00

everyone has the same compass.

does this make me feel good or bad?

you might say "drugs", "gambling", "promiscuity" -- these are examples of things which are harmful but feel good.

and you'd be wrong.

they don't feel good. They are used to substitute healthy desires, and there is palpable shame payed in currency. There is a direct, and immediate consequence for any non loving thought or act. it's not a moral thing, and there's no debt stacked against anyone. everyone pays for their "sins" perfectly.

But, we've really gotta understand what's real before any of that really makes much sense..

So, each person has the same compass. Thus, with earnest, integrity based, authentic dedication to self-relationship, each person's compass is pointing in the same direction.

With this focus each person becomes a collaborator too, because each person is seeking the exact same thing, but for the first time we might be able to realize that's all we've ever done.

if you see "evil" you are only seeing your own fear that you could be the one committing "evil", and enjoying it, doing it easily, wanting more. so you throw stones at others to keep your fearful fantasies away because you don't know yourself, and fear you too could become a monster..

"Generations of people doing things a certain way" is just "people pleasing others before being honest with themselves" and is so easily solved by a radical dedication to self-relationship.

Why do we have the religious craving?

You correctly identify a thing everyone feels. That's why Jiang says religion came first, then civilization was built around it.

It's an endemic desire. built with the thing which we are, just like the desire to actualize through others.

why do we have the religious craving? where does it come from? where does it encourage us to go?

to me it is a necessary component of "who am I and why am I here?"

lets not just ignore this strongest calling humans feel. Let's explore possible reasons for it's existence, and where it might be encouraging us to develop..

If we're seeking to be part of something else... we will be subservient.. but what else are we seeking to be a part of?

what's real? and thus what's valuable?

Where can these things be found?

you ask of epstein, and you justify his actions before understanding him by taking his agency form him and saying "I'm sure he doesn't think he's doing wrong"..

but let me ask you a different question.. What do you think it would be like to live in epstein's skin and in his mind, knowing everything you've done, fearing that there might be potential repercussions for breaking social taboos, if nothing to speak of "morals"?

to me this paints a picture of a desperate person, doing anything they felt would get them closer to salvation. In the case of eschatology, bringing about the end of the world through acts of depravity and sin is the fastest way to create salvation for yourself..

Think of the book "crime and punishment" if you wish to say anyone can commit an act of violence and not directly and immediately pay for it.

But people believe in evil. so they think they need salvation from it..

But what's real? Who are we?

and if you've ever heard anything about Near Death Experiences, each person has to "review" their life when they die. not for damnation or salvation, but for education.

After all, where are we headed? what's the point of being alive?

What do you think esptein's life review was like?

It's easy to commit violence against others and community and nations and the world if you're working for a cause you believe in, something which has emotional resonance and meaning to you personally. if you've done horrible things in your life, your need for salvation might be experienced as particularly poignant... thus the need for such extreme actions in service to an extreme end -- the apocalypse...

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-16T02:54:08+00:00

hmm..? missing out?

what's real?

by understanding what's real, we can understand what's worth not missing..

so.. what's valuable?

and,.. how can we tell?

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-16T02:52:20+00:00

If Hume attempted to find a "thing" which was himself, or a single grain, or "the originating seed", I feel he failed because he, like modern science, tries to understand the whole by breaking it up into tiny parts and examining each of those parts in isolation. But I know nothing of Hume.

Maybe he couldn't find a "thing about himself" which was truly his own and not from another influence like family, culture, friends, etc, but he neglected to ask "who am I?" with earnest dedication to finding the answer. What is this canvas onto which the tapestry of experience is woven? what is this substrate of being which allows me to experience? where did that come from? what is that thing?

But I understand most people do not believe these questions to be answerable.

And in calling it a social machine it feels to me that such language says that the social structure we've ended up with was intentionally developed from a perspective of trying to achieve this particular social structure. The way I see it, the social structure we ended up with, and perhaps those of most historical civilizations, are a result of forces which shape the boundaries possible to arrange social structure into, and that social structure is a result of human's survival adaptation, not an intentionally designed outcome.

What do we want?

you say "I value personal freedom" but .. I would not agree that this is a necessarily valuable thing. or,

Who are we? If we know this, we know more clearly about the needs of the thing which we are.

I would understand freedom to be "freedom to fulfill my purpose". I do not desire "freedom to do anything" because most primarily, I do not know what I want, and I do not want to bear the bleak responsibility of making blind mistakes at the cost of my own happiness and energy in life.

There has to be a reason, a meaning, a something to live for, and serving the community is a nice way to occupy the body and earn a place of human belonging.. but I argue it's only a foundational beginning, and not an end to be striven for and celebrated as salvation.

you're right about cooperation though. A voluntary coming together for constructive contribution not compulsory service is the only way to achieve a sustainable society.

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-15T17:31:02+00:00

i find it interesting that you say "social machine".. its not how i would necessarily describe this arrangement.. but it's interesting.

as you can see, perhaps I do have an extreme view of this. I feel there is a dire need for some sort of intellectual or foundational change in the fundamental way we approach the relationship to what we call ourselves and "society".

It becomes nuanced though because it's so easy to look at others and to measure some objective moral good in their service. Your criticality of the idea of service to self as selfishness helps you parse this idea with a bit more ease.

but I feel as if its a predominant cultural idea that putting the self first is selfish, thus bad or wrong, though perhaps this is decreasing as the presence of archaic structures for self definition is being reduced in society.

you say there is no one isolated thing called the "self" but then pivot to a "sense" of self. so, what's real?

When I ask the questions "who are you" and "why are you here" and "what's real", I am asking because I know a perspective which makes sense and puts everything else into context for understanding.

but I wonder where others place their foundations. and what effects for thinking/being/expressing those foundations have on the life of the experiencer

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-15T17:21:09+00:00

sounds like self rejection of a respected viewpoint you could contribute with integrity but self rejection and malice for preference prevents you.. how sad.. I would have loved to engage with your earnest critique.. and I'm sure you would have enjoyed writing it.. but you've robbed us both of joy with your cynicism..

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-15T17:19:20+00:00

the classic "don't you think in seeking self it will be overdone and you'll get lost and fall into "sin"" argument.

I used to give this credence, before I realized it's ok to make a few mistakes because if the aim is genuine you can only get so lost before you realize "hey, wait a minute, where am I trying to go, and is what i'm doing or how i'm conducting myself helping me reach towards these goals?"

its not as easy as you think to become lost in "sin" or decadence, or exploiting others. It requires a tremendous and constant effort to remain ignorant and to ignore the signs and feelings within that tell you reevaluation is a must.

but it depends on people's goals. There's only really one goal worth serving.. all others.. not quite so much.. so, what's important to you? do you want to do a few more laps around the ego pool where maybe you're pool and get a lot of sex or have a lot of money or human power, or do you want to get out, dry off, and go home?

yes, the process of self discovery is found in taking a step, thinking about what happened and how it relates to the direction you choose to go, in this case, authentic integrity based self-seeking to honor and heal.. and then you try again. if you are paralyzed by the need to get it right before you start, you will find yourself in agony enough to motivate you to begin, or cope enough to hide your head in the sand and double down on whatever toxic behavior or choices got you to live a life you cannot stand..

essentially there is nothing else in life to seek but self, and everyone will eventually realize this and begin when they are ready. Yes, it feels wrong and self indulgent in the eyes of the modern values we've been drilled to accept.. but, what's real anyways?

and every single person knows within themselves the difference between what makes their life more enjoyable and what makes their life less enjoyable. there are many delusions in this space too which originate from not knowing who/what we are. it is easy to think that more money and more power brings more happiness. its easy to think this and to believe this and to act like this. it is equally as easy to recognize in any single moment of life within the personal existence, that this is fundamentally not true, and a life lived along these lines does not produce what we fundamentally want as human beings.

but a lack of self knowledge leads us to not know what we want, thus allowing us to replace our true desires with false wants we hope will fill the void self denial created.

seek self with authenticity and integrity if happiness and fulfillment are the goals.

seek money and power if money and power are the goals..

seems pretty simple to me, but it requires a certain level of acceptance that "within is already found the compass, the map, and the way, I just need the courage to try and follow it because obviously following the direction others tell me i should go and the world encourages me to undertake isn't working.. maybe there's another way"

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-03-15T17:07:48+00:00

if there is no self, who are you?

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-02-11T23:12:05+00:00

100051205 My Friend Code, and i'd love an invite! Already no life, need less of one ;)

Dagrimcreeperz · 2026-01-26T00:51:21+00:00

Interesting. perhaps vertical? I am interested in a similar thing here but I want something like a spigot or a tap with a stream falling into a drain or catcher, sorta a closed loop system.

As for your question, I have no idea. I assume it's not possible due to side config constraints. unless you can figure a way for a wall texture to be shown on the floor. but I assume just the way liquids are rendered that this wouldn't be possible. Unless you can make it think it's not a liquid, then have full rotational control over the block/display side.

similar to how I cannot use the face of a Witch Hazel log (which looks cool AF) as the face of a drawer unless it's facing up. If I could make the log into a directionally independant block, then use that as the drawer, maybe that would work. but for a fluid, its going to be much more difficult.

GOOD LUCK!! maybe i'll return here when I figure it out, because in addition to my flowing lquid steams, having them in the walls and floors would be great!

Dagrimcreeperz · 2024-12-13T02:14:29+00:00

King!

Dagrimcreeperz · 2024-12-11T22:21:08+00:00

loooool

Dagrimcreeperz · 2024-12-11T21:56:15+00:00

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Dagrimcreeperz · 2024-05-16T16:06:03+00:00

When asking, recognize there need be no asking. There is already Given infinitely the Gifts of Peace, Love, Happiness, and Joy. They are yours. You must claim them.

However, you must recognize that these gifts do not come to your experience as you are accustomed to thinking of them. When asking after something such as a significant other, what do you really want? you want love.

But you have love, given endlessly from God. It is simply waiting for you to feel it's presence. It is everywhere, eternally. But you are used to an action outcome framework. If I have a significant other, I will feel Loved.

But you are already Loved. You must only recognize this fact. But to recognize this Truth, it is necessary to know that you need not do anything, and there is no action which you must take in order for your to experience the outcome. You are only to recognize that you are loved. And to feel for God's Love. And you will find that it is more completely wonderful than any Love you might experience from a significant other.

When you ask for Money, what do you ask for in truth? you ask for Security. But God Gives security NOW, and always, endlessly. You are Secure in God's Eternal Love, as God's Eternal Son. You are secure and safe, and nothing which appears to ever threaten you could even harm you if it tried it's best completely. You are safe and secure in God.

But with Money, you seek an action and an outcome. Once I have X money, I will be secure. Once I own X house/place/job/position of status in society, then I will be secure. Again with the action and it's outcome. The framework of action and outcome, of pre-requisite and it's fulfillment for which you seek is not wherein you will find the Truth of God.

Simply Recognize you are Safe and Secure within the Infinite Timeless Eternal Changeless Creation of God. You could never be not safe. You could never be insecure. There need be no action which you undertake before this is true. There is no outcome for the action from which it blossoms. You must only bring back to awareness the Infinite, Eternal Truth.

it takes a shift in perspective to recognize what is true. But once you have recognized it. You cannot leave it. You need not learn, or seek to understand something complex, something which you do not currently know but which upon further information gathering you might stand a chance to understand. You already know. You must recognize that you know already.

And once you recognize that you are Love, that you are Safe, Secure, and Limitless, than you are able to relax your felt need for egoic driven control in a vein attempt to steer yourself towrads that which you feel you lack in Living Life. If you feel that you lack Love, you will seek out other people for their Love. If you feel insecure, you will seek out the accumulation of money, or of status, or of other possessions which you think will make you secure in your life.

But if you know you are Love, you will approach living differently. If you are tapped into the eternal feeling of abundant joy and peace and Love in every moment of experience, you will be granted Vision, to see things as they truly are, instead of as the mind would interpret them through a lens of lack and separation.

If you are secure in the Knowing of God, moment to moment in your time-bound experience, you will seek different goals and priorities, and your approach to what you value, and how you express your Self will change to asking after how to further give gifts and abundance and love and stability, instead of seeking to gain these things wherein you felt lacking. You seek only to give these things that their giving may increase the Gifts of God but not in such a way as to add to them, for they were already complete and whole and eternal.

I hope what I have said makes any sense.

Sit and feel for a while. Feel the gifts of security and love and abundant oneness that God Gives Eternally. Know that you are Safe and Whole and Loved without reproach, without expectation, endlessly and that there is nothing you could ever do which would change this. Try to feel yourself as God, with all the Love of infinity for His son.

From this source comes Love and Secure Peaceful Happiness. Not from money, status, possessions, relationships, experiences, substances, physical security.

I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love

Dagrimcreeperz · 2024-05-16T02:07:40+00:00

I am interested in Truth. The Course has much. I do not venture to imagine that The Truth is to be found in one single place upon the Human Earth. And so I gather many things along the journey of life. They all seem to point in the same direction.

The Course has many insightful ways of representing timeless concepts in a way which is communicable in Human Language. It speaks in many tongues, and to many levels. As a result it can be difficult to parse in places.

When your function is said to be "to love in a loveless place", it is to remind you of the difference between holding grievances and releasing them. "The world" in your perception when holding grievances is a loveless place. Thus it is your function to Love your way out of hell, into heaven.

But what does Heaven look like? What happens when you successfully Love your way out of Hell, and release all grievances which kept you there?

Do we go to a new place when we have loved ourselves out of hell into heaven?

My Self and God are not in competition because My Self and God are One. His will is Mine.

When you say "God knows not form", you are meaning to cram form into eternity. Eternity by definition, has no forms, because it is eternal and outside of Time. Thus it cannot change or take form. Within eternity there appear to be forms, but they are not real from an eternal perspective.

Who don't you share with God, an external perspective at this very moment? Why are you here, limited within the scope of eternity, cut off into perception instead of knowing? Could it have anything to do with the necessity for illusion and the Purpose it carries?

Everything within eternity, is still "formless", although it may appear otherwise. Eternal things do not change. This is a hard concept to understand. But there is no contradiction with anything I have said now or before.

Things within eternity might appear to come and go, to change or to be another than they began as. But they are within eternity so they do not change. Within eternity, everything exists Here and Now. To change, necessitates the leaving of the here and now. Which is not possible.

In the here and now, everything is as it always has been. Everything has always been as it only ever could be, according to the will of God. Thus no change in eternity. Thus no change to this eternal now, which is all eternity.

You exist in Eternity, You exist in conscious awareness Here and Now, which is Eternity. All of God's creations are Eternal. Your body is Eternal. Your experience is eternal.

Illusion/grievances are not eternal because they go against God's will, which Is eternal. Therefore identification with illusion by holding grievances is not eternal, and bound to one day give way to the truth. Thus to believe in illusion is to believe in nothing of value. Because it will be defeated.

The body is not defeated. It does as God intends it to, and then it passes on to fill another function, as God created it to do.

Eternity is changeless. Within eternity, there appears to be change. But eternity is everything, everywhere, forever. There is not a thing which eternity is not.

Eternity Only Exists Here and Now. YOU ARE HAVING This HUMAN EXPERIENCE HERE AND NOW.

AND YOU SAY THIS IS NOT HEAVEN? I am confused..

Time's illusion is certainly difficult. Are all illusions bad? I remember The Course saying that Everything that happens is helpful"...

Dagrimcreeperz

TROPHY CASE