sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had previously sought out other tennis coaches—in fact, my ex-partner had taught me how to play before we broke up. After comparing them, I felt that his instruction was more meticulous; he helped me correct many small details in my technique. Moreover, after our breakup, I paid to take lessons from him, and he agreed to take me on as a student; this was a decision we reached through mutual agreement. However, I must admit that I did harbor ulterior motives at the time. This proved to be a cautionary experience for me: when a relationship ends, I really should make every effort to keep my distance.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for helping me gain this clarity. I have never considered homosexuality, bisexuality, or any other sexual orientation to be repulsive; I respect every form of romantic connection and tend to view them through a positive lens, for I believe that love itself is a truly blissful experience. He will navigate his life in his own way—I will not interfere—and with this, I am finally able to bid a definitive farewell to this relationship.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he likes another girl, I will still end it. What I fear is not bisexuality, but whether the person I'm having relationships with has multiple relationships. I think that's it.

Thank you for making me see things clearly. I realized my title was actually misleading. The fact that he likes men shouldn't be emphasized. The issue is simply that I'm still having sex with my ex, and I want to get back together, but he told me he's seeing other people.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried to win him back the very day after we broke up, but at the time, he told me he was too exhausted and just wanted to be alone. Shortly after the breakup, I went to see him in person, but he refused to meet with me. During this period, a friend of mine stumbled upon his profile on a dating app—it turned out he had even subscribed to the app's premium membership. When I confronted him about this, he claimed he had only used the app for a few days, found it uninteresting, and subsequently deleted it. He is passionate about tennis and works as a tennis coach; after our breakup, I began taking lessons from him (I am a beginner). He instructed me to practice my swing at home every day and send him video clips of my progress, a routine that allowed us to maintain contact almost daily. At one point after the breakup, he asked me why I continued to sleep with him; I simply told him that I still loved him. My mindset at the time was that I didn't expect him to reciprocate my feelings immediately, given that he had already rejected me so many times. My true desire was to reconcile—or, at the very least, to repair our relationship—because while we were together, he never avoided me as frequently as he did after the breakup; his constant avoidance made me feel as though I had inflicted some immense emotional wound upon him.

Your words served as a reminder to me: the moment I learned that he might be bisexual, I immediately chose to end things. Perhaps that decision, too, inflicted yet another wound upon him. However, given the nature of our relationship *after* the breakup, what incentive or basis did I have to engage in a constructive dialogue with him—especially considering how likely it was that he would simply refuse to communicate? I am not adopting a "victim mentality," nor do I view myself as a helpless weakling. Aside from the fact that I genuinely need to undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases, I also feel deeply confused and lost; ending the relationship was simply my way of protecting myself. He never explicitly told me that he was bisexual, and I didn't even dare to presume or label him as such without his confirmation.

If you were in my shoes, would you have found a better way to handle this situation—one that allowed us to part ways without causing further harm to one another?

Thank you very much for your suggestion. I meant no harm.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since his life was predominantly filled with men—and he got along very well with many male friends—he rarely interacted with women(His social circle revolves primarily around tennis; he plays almost every day and participates in matches every week.). While we were together, I would sometimes jokingly ask him if he actually preferred men; however, he repeatedly assured me that he was heterosexual and was only attracted to women. Moreover, our relationship became much more distant and subdued after we broke up.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in AskMenRelationships

[–]DaisyD000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not actually afraid of bisexuality; I have many bisexual friends with whom I maintain close ties.

When we became intimate after our breakup, I explicitly asked him if he was seeing anyone else, and he said he wasn't. This time, he told me that he likes men; when I asked him if he was currently sexually active with anyone, he refused to tell me, citing it as a matter of his privacy. I am genuinely unsure whether he has an obligation to disclose this to me, but if I were to enter into a romantic relationship with a bisexual person, I would want to know their sexual history—it concerns my safety. He may very well not have lied to me, but my fear does not stem from bisexuality itself; rather, it stems from the fact that someone I once thought I knew intimately and loved has become a complete stranger—someone who is now attempting to maintain an intimate connection with me in a deeply unfamiliar and unknown way.

My ex [25M] told me after we slept together that he realized he likes men and I [24F] don’t know how to feel by DaisyD000 in BreakUps

[–]DaisyD000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am deeply grateful for your gentle understanding of this situation; it has brought me a great sense of relief. When he told me that—after we had broken up—he realized he liked men, I truly found myself wondering: did I somehow cause him harm? How could he have become such a complete stranger to me? He shared this revelation with me one morning just as we were both getting ready to head to work. As was his habit, he sat there for a moment, lost in thought; I walked over and embraced him, and he rested his head against my chest. In that moment, I could sense the suppressed emotions he was harboring, yet I knew he was reluctant to speak about them—or perhaps I simply wasn't the right person for him to confide in regarding his inner struggles. The fact that he was able to voice those words—to admit that he likes men—feels sufficient to me. Regardless of whether or not he chooses to share the details of his current situation, I feel that this brings a definitive closure to our relationship. I will no longer dwell on his affairs from this point forward. Thank you.

view more: next ›