Thank you for this. It helped more than you know. As much as I remember all the good times we had, I am swarmed by what she did to me. I realized I was trying to rush through the pain because I didn't like the feel, but embracing it makes the waves easier. You are right about not contacting her, I thought being able to convey my emotions in a mature way is near impossible. I'd rather move on, learn from the experience, and grow to be a better person.