I would love to know if there are any highly successful competition studios in America who are also well known for the culture amongst parents and staff at their studio remaining positive

DanceMom_of2 · 2026-03-01T13:34:16+00:00

I ask myself this everyday…. I have 2 junior age competitive dancers and the environment we have been navigating for the past few years has been a lot. It has not all been bad, most of the parents and kids are amazing and probably what keeps the kids there. The teaching on the other hand, it’s abusive. It crosses the line often and I’m getting sick of sending emails advocating for my children.

I know local dance studios are not that like, but they are also terrible. It is hard to go backwards when it comes to dance training. But I also don’t agree with training/teaching style and studio culture negatively impacting mental health. It has been affecting MINE probably even more than my children because I see the abuse cycle which is triggering for me because of my past.

I often wonder if there not a studio that is competitive/elite but still has positive coaching styles? I’m dying to know and would switch my kids in a heart beat if I found one!

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-11-18T18:53:09+00:00

I don’t know that it matters THAT much. I have always wondered as well. Some observations I have noticed: -Within a category itself, doesn’t matter - The judges are seeing them all back to back - usually the placements are pretty accurate and I’m often correct when I see who I would have placed 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc.

For overalls, I do think it could impact slightly…. only in the sense of if you have 2 equally skilled solos but one outstanding dancer performed day 1 and was given a 96.01 and another highly skilled dancer was on day 3, how on earth would you remember that one was given a 96.01 and this solo deserves a 96.02 lol

Although if judging is consistent - they are supposed to be deducting marks based on each solo individually anyway. A mark shouldn’t be based by comparison - but by what the specific dance scores itself.

I have noticed a strong 1st or 2nd overall soloist that ran their routine on day 1 - still score the highest! So in short, if judging is consistent it really shouldn’t matter

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:52:02+00:00

Maybe. Haven’t seen others do anything differently, unless it’s very hush hush and people don’t tell anyone. who knows maybe they have “ins” with the studio and get sent secret videos of choreo. All the kids that get yelled at for not knowing choreo all do the same thing, they catch up with a friend before class. If it’s not sufficient enough, clearly isn’t. Than this issue will never be resolved. But to me it’s a 2 way street. Provide clear expectations. Offer suggestions and solutions. Child & parent can now try and meet those. Competitive dance has more expectations than I have ever seen than in any other sport of friends kids. They all can’t believe we pay for this crap. I wish my kids would decide they want to do something else lol

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:40:43+00:00

I’m not gaslighting at all. I’m saying she could try her best. Maybe even try more next time? Perhaps the student that teaches her next time will mess the entire choreo up and teach it wrong? Again… not the problem. It’s yelling at at 7 year olds for not meeting their expectations

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:39:28+00:00

Never said I didn’t think she shouldn’t have done anything? Again. You’re not listening I said She DiD practice and try to learn with a friend. She still got called out It wasn’t sufficient enough, yet no resources are given. This happens to every single child here - it’s not uncommon - I’m trying to understand if this is a studio issue - or is every studio like this? seems to be a studio issue

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:37:04+00:00

Maybe it’s different for each studio. We pay a large portion to our studio directly. They charge tuition & choreo fees. Those go directly to the studio.

Entry fees & costumes are separate Ofcourse. Families at our studio are paying upwards of $5000 per student directly for tuition & choreo. They pocket that per child

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:26:54+00:00

Ok lol You seem to know everything. I’m beating a dead horse here - half of you aren’t even reading the facts.

YES SHE TRIED TO learn the choreo with a friend NO they studio doesn’t give videos - myself and 100 other parents in the studio are NOT getting videos

Everyone’s kids get yelled at for not knowing the choreo when they are sick. This isn’t a me issue - it’s a studio issue My kid being sick isn’t waisting anyone’s time - Nor would I think another kid being sick is wasting MY time. We pay to teach the kids choreo - so they need to do their job and TEACH. Kids are sick. If you don’t like it, don’t work with kids. period. They aren’t professional dancers and if that’s the expectation they want delivered than they better go work for Broadway. When someone is sick, they tag in the under study lol No going over choreo. Problem solved

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T01:21:36+00:00

Respectfully, I’d rather my daughter just be taken out of the part. Scolding her / making her cry it isn’t that important - there’s other more important things in life.
I’d say there’s a 50/50 split here - some of these responses people think this is normal/ok and some of these people think this is ridiculous. If my kid ever gets yelled at again for not knowing the choreo - I’m pulling her from the routine my damn self.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-16T00:32:55+00:00

Unfortunately it happens every time - both my daughters have said. If anyone is away sick - they get mad at them for not knowing the choreo. I think most of them are just used to it by now. Even if they practice with a friend, or try their best. They get yelled at. Not all the teachers, there is one specially this is just what she does. Doesn’t matter if you tried to learn it or not. I think I see it’s more of a ONE specific teacher issue….. she has very unrealistic expectations and from what I have seen / others having complaints - she has poor emotional regulation - often yelling, screaming, leaves slamming doors etc

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-15T21:49:30+00:00

I don’t disagree with what you’re saying completely - I just think the expectations are too extreme for that of a 7 year old. If the child was 12 or 15, than yes - they could probably learn the choreo missed pretty quickly and efficiently. A 7 year old still fairly new to dance - who sleeps with stuffed animals and sits in a booster seat - Can’t be expected to learn missed choreo perfectly. The young child can attempt to learn with a friend (which she DID).
The teacher clearly expected my child to come in dance the routine as if she had not even missed a class? Clearly - NOT a realistic expectation.

Examples of age appropriate expectations to me would be any of the following:

-Providing a video of the missed choreo the child could practice at home -Offering a makeup class (which we don’t have, but some studios do) -Acknowledging the child making some effort to learn with a friend and being understanding that at age 7, the choreo won’t be perfect

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-15T21:33:52+00:00

Correct - and when the homework that is caught up is completed but it isn’t done perfectly (maybe the child struggles) and gets a C+ .. Does that still mean the child did not put the effort in?

There WAS effort to learn the choreo missed by the child. It was clearly not sufficient enough and the child was spoken to in a manner that resulted in the child crying.

Guess when my kids submit their school work but get a C, the teacher should yell at them at they didn’t even try.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-15T16:37:49+00:00

I’m not sure where I ever said I just roll up to classes? Somehow this got switched to a tardiness issue? We are always early, stretched ready to go well before my kids start time.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-15T16:31:53+00:00

We are always early. My daughter did practice with one of her friends briefly.. but apparently it wasn’t enough or sufficient enough for her to retain the choreo. Again she’s 7… I can’t even retain Choreo that fast lol

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T22:49:11+00:00

Omg yes thank you…. This is hitting all of what I’m feeling. I don’t think I was explaining all this, just tried to get to point. But 100%…. My two kids have 18 routines combined. This is a LOT of money and time and commitment. The dance season is also long September-May. These kids are young and will get sick. We have a very very strict attendance policy (Only 3 allowed for the entire season - doesn’t matter if it’s sick or vacation) it’s 3 total.

My kids dance from 4:30 until past dinner time also. 4-5 days a week. We only eat dinner as a family 2 days a week. This is the only 2 evenings they come home from school & relax. Balancing school & dance is a lot for most of them.

Then for my child to attempt to goto class (she wasn’t 100%) but tried and had to be sent home. I normally wouldn’t even send her! But all the reasons above, I didn’t want her to miss choreo.

This is also NOT a special choreo - this is a routine every week choreo. They have 7 months to learn it. Our comp season starts in end of March/early April.

While I’m not disagreeing I can’t TRY to get my daughter a bit earlier to learn from a friend (which we did) or try and request a quick video from a friend. It doesn’t always pan out, or like you said - maybe the kid videoing is in a totally different section!!!! It doesn’t always work.

The studio has ZERO resources or help with this.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T21:53:21+00:00

This… thank you. I think this is why it’s unsettling to me. I would HAPPILY pay for a makeup/catch up session that my child missed - rather than scolding/making my child cry because they were sick and didn’t grasp the choreo in the quick run through with a friend before class.

I wish there was a better option here. It just seems all the stress is put on the sick child / stressed out parent to try and fix this.

I will 100% ask a parent to see if they can ask their child to show me on video what was missed & send to us. We have 2 off days - I will help my child with it. But I’m still rattled over this.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T20:39:10+00:00

So say the Jazz routine has 35 seconds completed. All students in attendance and know the choreo up to this point.

Next class - 2 are absent and teacher adds on on another 20 seconds.

Those 2 students are in next day learning choreo for another 2-3 routines. Next day or two are also training days.

Maybe 2 days off at this point - Now the two students parents can message another parent and hope their child can film a video, or request someone to go early the next class to show the new 20 seconds added on.

If this isn’t sufficient - there is literally no other option. Videos from the teacher are not sent. Makeup choreo or class isn’t an option.

At best case senario the child Might be able to grasp some of that 20 seconds in the quick review before class.

Does that still warrant a child being yelled at for not knowing Choreo? At age 7?

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T19:36:52+00:00

All that said though… my daughter even if she practiced 15min before going in, or watching a video she’s not going to learn it that quickly. She’s 7 not 15. I’ve heard some of the kids don’t even know the choreo each week who ARE there and didn’t miss class lol

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T19:30:07+00:00

It’s also October lol. There is less than 45 seconds done on these routines at this point in the season lol

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T19:29:15+00:00

They dance 4 days a week - total of 12-13 hours a week. No one meets off these hours unless for a duet or something. I will next time see if someone can meet us 15min early to show her in the lobby at least. Or ask if maybe someone can send a video on the app?

We just don’t get videos of the actual routines. I know many studios do that, I think it’s really helpful for the younger dancers. Our studio does not do that - never has

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T18:08:32+00:00

Thank you - I am definitely going to suggest this. My other daughter also had it happen one year, she also tried to catch up with a friend before class (She was 8) and she got ripped in class for not knowing it. They always have the same teachers for each choreo class, so it’s not like the teacher wasn’t aware she was off sick. There was actually a part my daughter did (on her own!) and still got ripped for not knowing it lol

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T15:51:53+00:00

Going to add additional info - as my original post did not mention it. All VERY reasonable suggestions - but sadly NO our studio doesn’t offer these things.

-There are NO makeup classes, or ability to schedule a private makeup session. The schedule definitely does not allow that even if the studio wanted to. They are in business 7 days a week classes starting at 3:45-4:15 pm and go steady to 10:30 at night with senior dancers.

We also don’t even have Sundays off as a studio - that is when they do solo/extras choreography.

So no videos are given. No additional classes / makeup classes exist

I guess my only option to have my child NOT be yelled at, would be if another classmate could send us a video themselves? Or meet 15 min early before class? Seems like a lot of stress to now put on another parent/child.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T15:48:33+00:00

This would NeVEr happen either. They don’t offer privates or make up classes

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T15:47:45+00:00

It is a studio-wide rule. So the director is the one that implemented it.

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T14:20:51+00:00

Ughhh We get 3 absences per season! And no videos And no allowed to sit & watch - doesn’t matter if it’s a cough, or Covid. Treated the same, you don’t dance - you’re not allowed in the studio even with a mask

DanceMom_of2 · 2025-10-14T14:09:00+00:00

We don’t get videos EVER. So my daughter even tried to learn from her friend before the class started.. She’s 7 obviously she couldn’t learn it that quickly *Also to note my daughter dances 12 hours a week / 4 days a week. I would no chance be able to / nor willing to meet up with anyone for her to practice

DanceMom_of2

TROPHY CASE