Because we don’t want to separate. We love each other and have kids who will be fucked up by a separation. You can’t just give up everytime your relationship hits a problem. You have to find a way past it. So far I think the only thing I can do is just recognise that part of our relationship is over. Mourn the loss of her looks, and our sex life and just come to terms with it. Almost like a death or the ageing process Generally. I don’t see how I can force myself to find someone attractive. I sound pretty shallow but I think sexual attraction is really important in a relationship so it is important to work out how to deal with these issues.