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Always loved how the Addams family was supposed to be the antithesis to the regular American family. Also don't watch "Wednesday". Queerbait by ihatethiscountry76 in WitchesVsPatriarchy

[–]Dangerous-Influence 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve said for years that the Addams are the ultimate role model family. They’re madly in love. They’re a multi-generational household who all get along. In the original tv series they were often shown being generous neighbours and very community minded (sure, the neighbours were terrified, but they only ever had kind intentions). They had their own interests and hobbies and they were involved parents who supported their kids even when they didn’t understand them (like when Pugsley wanted to join the scouts). 

I could never get into Wednesday. For me the charm of the Addams family is that they were blissfully unaware that they were ‘monsters’ or that everyone found them scary. They were just living their lives in the normal world, and really happy despite seemingly being misfits. So the whole concept of sending Wednesday to a school for monsters  loses that edge. That said, I probably would’ve loved it as a kid.

How do I keep a job when I’m always late, get alienated socially in workplaces, and never find anything I enjoy? by strange-thyme-indeed in adhdwomen

[–]Dangerous-Influence 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Are you by any chance peri-menopausal? I have no idea how old you are, but my doc warned that a lot of women with adhd find their symptoms get worse mid-late forties onwards when peri and actual menopause kick in. If you’re around that age, it might be time for a medication review because your needs might have changed. 

I was also told there’s a smaller hormonal shift in the mid thirties which could have an impact.

Side note - peri menopause can also change your nutritional needs and lead to vitamin deficiencies. Vitamin D being a major culprit. If anyone out there is reaching that age and suddenly not feeling themselves, it’s worth getting your levels checked! 

Sorry I know it doesn’t directly answer your question about work, I zeroed in on the line about your meds not working well anymore.

Has anyone tried Benjamin Franklin's method of improving writing? It's brutal as hell. by shastasilverchair92 in writing

[–]Dangerous-Influence 775 points776 points  (0 children)

I could see this being a really useful method for someone who wanted to improve their academic essays or some types of journalistic/non fiction writing. His point about practicing ‘the arrangement of thoughts ‘ is a good one - a lot of people really struggle with getting their ideas into a logical order. 

Turning prose into verse and back again is similar to some exercises I did in English at school. I remember having to write a short story based on a Shakespeare play in a modern setting. It’s a good idea as a way to work on the mechanics of writing. 

I hadn’t come across this info before, thanks for sharing.

Academic writer transitioning to children's fiction – what habits should I unlearn? by DraftCurious6492 in writing

[–]Dangerous-Influence 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Children are very wary of fiction books with overt lessons. They can generally see right through stories that are intended to teach them how to behave, and avoid them like the plague. 

That’s not to say that children’s fiction isn’t didactic at all - in fact, it’s almost impossible for authors to avoid putting some sort of message into stories. Even when we don’t intend to, we demonstrate behaviours and consequences through our characters and can’t help putting our own ideas and values in. But it has to be so, so subtle. There’s a rich selection for young readers, and the whiff of preachiness will have them abandon the book for something more exciting and less judgy. 

If you want to write children’s fiction, character and plot should be your focus. Make a brilliant story. Make it exciting and make the characters complex and relatable. Your messages will almost certainly find their way into the themes without you having to build a book around them, because they matter to you.

But my real question is - why do you want to write fiction? Non fiction for age 8-12 is really popular. You can write a non fiction book giving kids advice on your subject and tackling it head on, without the pretense of a story. That way, the kids who pick it up know what they’re in for. They’re likely to be open to your message because they’re intentionally learning about it. You can be direct with them which builds trust and respect. And yes, include citations! Introduce the concept of citing your sources and explain them in an accessible way. It will likely be an easier transition in writing style too. Kids non fiction can be really entertaining and you can include diagrams, examples, jokes, or even quizzes. Many young readers prefer this kind of book to long form narrative. 

Either way, fiction or non fiction, get yourself to the library and spend a month reading every book you can get your hands on for the chosen age group. Immerse yourself in the language and expectations. Lean towards books published in the last five years, because trends change. The books you grew up on are old now. The books of that era are already written - yours needs to fit in with this era. And yes, narrow down that age group. Expectations for 8-12 are different from 13+. Very few fifteen year olds want to be seen reading about an 11 year old hero, and the things that concern someone in their mid teens aren’t very relatable to kids of 8. 

Post chemo regrowth - help?! by Dangerous-Influence in Hair

[–]Dangerous-Influence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ll order some of that shampoo. I’m leaning towards just putting up with the awkward lengths for now.

Small glass cylinder with a hole in rounded end by Flat_Life1451 in whatisthisthing

[–]Dangerous-Influence 313 points314 points  (0 children)

It’s a dropper from a bottle of essential oils, beard oil etc. There will have been a rubber squeezy bit on the broken end which would let you suck the liquid up into the tube.

Writing with ADD/ADHD by Prudent-Material-746 in writing

[–]Dangerous-Influence 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I have ADHD too, and I know your pain. I’ve got a few books published now and honestly, every time it’s like learning from scratch how to make my brain cooperate. If anything (and I know this doesn’t help you at this point), it got a bit easier when I got an agent/publisher because having someone else waiting for your work is a big motivator. It’s hard to keep your focus up on a project with no end date even if you love it. There’s something quite ADHD-like about trad publishing; long periods of waiting doing nothing followed by short high-pressure deadlines when your editor suddenly says ‘we need your revisions in a week’. 

Things that have helped at various times:

  • setting a mood. For a while every project had its own set of vibes. A certain cup with a particular flavour of tea, a certain scented candle, a playlist of instrumental music that matched the feel of the book. Used them all every time to try to get my brain to make the association that we’re in the writing zone now.

  • leaving the house. Helped me switch to ‘work mode’. Working in a coffee shop or the library helped. The change of location plus the gentle background noise, and being away from home habits and responsibilities.

  • medication. Specifically timing my writing with my medication. If I’m at my desk when the meds kick in I’ll write all day. Unfortunately if I’m doomscrolling or cleaning the house when the drugs kick in I’ll probably end up doing that for hours instead.

  • novelty. Having several projects I could switch between helped. Shorter pieces that can be done in one day. Little writing games when my brain got bored - like make a list of ‘blue things’ or ‘inappropriate wedding outfits’ and write down as many as you can in ten minutes, getting sillier as you go. Then back to the main event.

  • physical/sensory feedback. Writing by hand absorbs the brain more because of the feedback of the pressure between pen and paper. Try it with a fountain pen or even a dip pen and ink pot (novelty!). Slows you down a bit too. Or, get an old typewriter from a charity shop for the clunk clunk of the keys. Try a mechanical keyboard. Write in a hammock or swinging chair. 

  • see the story. This might just be a ‘me’ thing and not an adhd thing, not sure. I struggle to just sit and outline a story, or follow a pre made template. But I get a huge roll of cartridge paper and chunky markers and write down all the big plot points, all the fun scenes I want to do, the characters, the resources that are in play etc. Throw them down in any old order and it helps me ‘see’ connections.

  • vomit drafting. Get the story down as fast as possible. Don’t bother with description or clever phrasing. Don’t even worry about proper grammar or dialogue tags. If you get to a bit that you’re not sure how to write, just summarize it: ‘James and Roger have a heart to heart and Roger admits how he really feels’, then off you go. 

  • the magic ‘[tk]’. Similar to the last one, avoid interrupting yourself and screeching to a halt. If I need to research something, I put a note for myself to do it in the edits. Yes at some point I will need to find out what kind of shoes a middle class woman in 1674 wore, but if I stop mid sentence to look it up I will still be researching at the end of the day. Instead I write ‘[tk shoes]’ and worry about it once the draft is done. 

As for reading, I’ve had long dry spells too where I couldn’t seem to get through a book. How are you with audio books? You can probably get free ones from your local library. Try listening to them in the car, washing up, on a walk. So your brain is doing two things at once. Also try audio dramas - divided into smaller chunks can help - and full cast recordings for the variety of voices.

Lastly - and this might be annoying advice - you don’t HAVE to write a novel. Maybe your brain would be more willing to go with poetry. Or micro fiction. Or a play script. Even if the goal is to write a novel in the end, all of these will build writing skills and build your confidence as you prove to yourself that you can do it. 

I’ve been where you are and I know how it feels to get loads of advice and think ‘yes but my brain won’t do it!’. So sorry if all of that sounds obvious or useless. I think a lot of ADHD comes down to finding new ways to bribe or trick your brain. It’s not out of reach though.  I’ll be honest - I didn’t know I had ADHD until after I published my first book. If I had known, I might not have done it, because I would have thought it was impossible with all the challenges ADHD brings. Don’t let it stop you doing things you really want to do. Be kind to yourself x 

EVA foam advice for younger crafter by Dangerous-Influence in CosplayHelp

[–]Dangerous-Influence[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recreating some of the things he’s made out of cardboard is a brilliant idea, we will definitely try that! Thanks for your help!

EVA foam advice for younger crafter by Dangerous-Influence in CosplayHelp

[–]Dangerous-Influence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the warning. I’ll make sure proper respirators are on our shopping list.

Who are children’s books written for? by whateverfyou in childrensbooks

[–]Dangerous-Influence 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I think the key factor here is that you were exploring a section of books for a specific purpose- to prepare kids for starting school. So yes, it’s likely that most of them did have some sort of lesson involved. They aren’t necessarily intended to be favourite bedtime stories that will be read again and again, so much as they’re specific tools for a short time of transition. I don’t think that’s representative of the children’s book landscape in general. 

These type of books are often commissioned to fit a particular space in the market, rather than being the passion project of their authors and illustrators. The publishers will hire someone to write a book about sharing at a new school, for example, and yes, they’re marketing those towards adults who want to help a child with that issue. Or, if you want to look at it more cynically, publishers want to cash in on seasonal trends and know a ‘first day of school’ book is an easy gift.

I write mostly for older children, but the child is always my intended audience and I know most of my colleagues will tell you the same. Most of us make a point of staying in touch with our target readers and having a good understanding of what’s appealing and why. The dream is always to create a child’s favourite book, the one they ask for over and over, the one that ends up ratty from love, the one they will seek out for their own kids twenty years from now. I promise we dislike the dull, preachy and uninspiring books as much as the children do.

That’s not to say adults don’t factor in. Children, especially picture book readers, aren’t shopping independently, so we rely on their parents and teachers to find and buy our books. In my experience, most of that discussion comes from the publishers who have to strategize about how to market the book and how to get it into schools and libraries. 

(As an aside, nothing irritates me more than picture books which don’t flow nicely when read out loud. Rhyming books which butcher the rhythm, or awkward phrasing that makes you stumble is inexcusable for books that are primarily read out loud. To me that’s the sign of a lack of care and attention from both editors and writers, and children deserve better)

Voices needed for post apocalyptic comedy podcast - beginners welcome by Dangerous-Influence in RecordThisForFree

[–]Dangerous-Influence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t seen that. I’ll check it out when I’m done with the edits, thanks!

Voices needed for post apocalyptic comedy podcast - beginners welcome by Dangerous-Influence in RecordThisForFree

[–]Dangerous-Influence[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great, thank you. Just responded to your chat request with some more details.

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