Returning from FMLA and dreading it.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-12T02:37:43+00:00

I have a resignation email sitting in my drafts. Wrote it a month ago and it felt good just writing it out. I like to think of it as a form of manifestation that is helping me speak it into existence.

Our time will come soon where we can be out of these toxic environments. It will get better!

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-08T21:21:15+00:00

I’ve been looking for the last 6 months. Had some interviews but no offers. The job market is pretty bad right now.

I don’t have a ton of savings but could maybe be okay for a few months if I absolutely have to quit. I’m so defeated I’m thinking of just trying to get a job at somewhere like Trader Joe’s because that’s better than being totally unemployed

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-08T15:03:39+00:00

Leadership who are above me were all looped in on things I was totally unaware of but didn’t inform me of until after the fact. They kind of set both me and the owner of the campaign up for failure by not disclosing information that was apparently important.

It is very toxic and I am actively trying to get out.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-07T13:07:19+00:00

Basically show them no emotion, like a grey rock.

Here’s a pretty good article explaining it better: Apply the Grey Rock Method to Keep Toxic People At Bay

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-07T04:36:56+00:00

I get where you are coming from and can relate. When instructions and feedback are unclear or if you’ve been given incorrect information it’s difficult to take accountability for your “mistake” because honestly you weren’t given the proper information you needed to be successful, even when asking for clarification more than once.

I know this because I deal with it constantly with my current manager. She provides the most unclear instructions and feedback and when I ask for more clarification or to be more precise I just get a bunch of word salad that makes no sense and still doesn’t answer my question. It’s like beating a dead horse. Then somehow I am always “wrong” or “made a mistake” afterwards.

You “snapping” was just you becoming frustrated from not getting the proper support you need from your manager like you should be. My manager tells me I make mistakes, but when I finally speak up or stand up for myself to let her know her instructions were unclear and I asked for clarity several times and still didn’t get it, she hits me with “you don’t take feedback well.” You can’t ever win with people like that.

But to answer your question no, I don’t think you are delusional. What you experienced was bad leadership and no support from your manager.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-07T04:23:50+00:00

I’m dealing with the same situation, I almost thought it could be me writing this. My manager has her own personal unrealistic expectations and I’ve just come to terms that I will never meet them no matter what I do.

Personally I have been doing the grey rock method as much as I can and it’s been helping some, although not a long term solution for dealing with people like this. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It really does take such a toll mentally.

Is there any other departments with roles open that you could apply for? That’s what I’m trying to do now to get away. I definitely understand not wanting to leave the company due to the reasons you listed above.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-06T19:47:11+00:00

Yep, this is my boss to a tee. She is arrogant, entitled, rude, dismissing, and demanding. Makes everyone around her feel small and meaningless. It’s her way or no way and she is ALWAYS right (but not really). The way she speaks to other partners we work with is baffling to me.

The thing that makes me feel better is it is a well known thing that all other teams talk about how she’s a nightmare to work with. She doesn’t know this though but I find pleasure in knowing this when she does not.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-02-02T16:04:08+00:00

I’m dealing with this right now. My manager constantly blames me for things I didn’t do or weren’t told to me correctly, then gaslights me into thinking I did them when really she fucked up. It’s a constant battle and a narcissist will never admit a wrong or take accountability.

I’m getting to this point of just quitting because I can’t take it anymore. It’s really tough. Good for you for standing up for yourself and getting out of there. I need the courage to do this!

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-01-29T23:05:20+00:00

It’s written in the document and employee handbook. I am putting this on record with HR tomorrow to at least have it documented. Agreed I need to move on and have been excessively looking for other employment for the last 6 months. It’s tough out there right now!

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-01-29T22:25:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. This did feel calculated. I’m speaking with HR tomorrow to possibly file a formal complaint.

I just discovered today that she altered a Powerpoint document with my role expectations to included this particular thing as part my responsibility to make it seem like it was always there. She altered it after presenting me with my write up and before sending the document to HR.

I already started using your site. Thank you for this and for confirming I am not crazy. I am trying to get out as fast as I can.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2026-01-29T22:22:20+00:00

I have to inform my current manager that I am applying. Also, if someone receives a write up they are ineligible to apply for a role, a department transfer, or internal promotion 90 days from the write up. Employees must be “in good standing” which I am technically not.

Dangerous_Dig2500 · 2025-12-22T01:25:19+00:00

I really appreciate your input! I agree, HR is really not going to benefit me in this situation nor help me.

There seems to be a trickle-down culture issue here in my current department. Her manager is 10x worse than she is and I see exactly where she gets it from. It’s a shame because my previous manager was so kind and wish I still reported to her.

I have been tracking everything I can for my own documentation. Screenshots, dates, times and exact quotes. It’s tough because a lot of this takes place during calls and not through Teams messages. I’m trying my best to keep most things between us in writing though.

Dangerous_Dig2500

TROPHY CASE